Our weather has been nothing less than wonky this year but the heat is in full swing now. We’re averaging around 110 degrees and some god-awful humidity has descended upon us. What a horrible, horrible thing humidity is.

Every year for the past several years, we’ve managed to bump up the temperature setting on our AC. What started at 84 at night and 80 during the day, is now 86 at night and between 83-85 during the day. It’s been a slow acclimation but it’s working. Anything lower and we’re using throw blankets. And I’m sorry, but if you have to use a throw blanket in the summer (and you don’t have the flu) you could stand the turn up that AC and save a few bucks (and tons of CO2!).

Last year, I wrote about all the ways to stay cool in the summer, while using less energy and decreasing your AC bill. Not everything on that list is applicable to our home, but here’s what we do that makes a difference:

• Ceiling fans
• Swamp cooler
• Ice packs (rarely ever needed)
• Seal drafts
• Keep blinds closed
• Cook outside
• Plants and trees to shade house
• Wood mulch instead of rock mulch (which collects heat)
• Solar screens (huge help!! we take them down in the winter)
• Thermostat timers
• Closing some AC vents
• Cold showers
• As little clothing as possible
• Acclimate to higher temps
• Unbearable afternoons spent at the library

ETA: Hubby thought of some more things we do:

• lighter or no blankets on the bed
• sleeping nekked (only he gets to do this)
• using the clothesline (we do it regardless but it reduces the heat)
• cold drinks and foods
• physical activities in the AM, lazy in the afternoon

I’ve found a few drafts under our doors that I need to insulate or seal somehow. We’ve never gotten around to installing an attic fan. I’ve also been looking into a Time-of-Use service with our power company (you pay less for energy used during off hours than during peak hours) but I haven’t made the leap yet.

The garden has greatly decreased our micro-climate’s average temperature. Our house use to run a bit higher but is now averaging lower than the city-wide average. Of course, once you’ve hit 105, it’s all the same anyway.

How do you navigate the summer heat? Can you add any tips to the list?

It’s a rare moment Justin and I get the opportunity to talk. You know, really talk - about finances, plans, etc. The kind of talk best done out of ear shot of a easily stressed and environmentally-sensitive kiddo. Earlier this week, we plopped ourselves on the bed and really hashed things out.

This discussion came about as we had been looking at our yard and really, really, really wanting to do more - more perennials, more raised beds, water catchment and graywater usage, more investment into a home and garden we weren’t sure we would be able to afford or remain in when/if Justin’s work runs dry. Is it worth the investment? Should we plop more money in this yard, only to give it away come as early as next spring? But what if work holds out and we’re able to keep to the plan? What if we’re putting off the enjoyment of where we are, in case of something that doesn’t even happen? How do we plan for such unknown variables? And how do we live in the meantime?

We’ve sat stuck for several months, idling at this inevitable fork in our minds. I felt myself reaching for a solution; something that would give me permission to move in either direction. I don’t even care which way we travel, just give me a damn course already!!

Our conversation swirled around a few main topics: Is it a waste of time to invest anything else in this place? If, come December, Justin finds himself unemployed what do we want to do? And how? Are we saving enough money? I’ll spare you the details and share with you our conclusions.
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Navigating the Fork:

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Before we looked at anything else, we had to look at where we want to be and how we want to get there. We don’t know where we want to be but we know it’s not here. However, we’re very particular about moving. Neither of us wish to move hastily or go into debt again. So we made the choice that come what may, until we have the savings to support our original “Five Year Plan“, we’re not budging.

If Justin gets laid off we’ll do whatever possible to remain in this home while we work toward our financial goals. If staying in our home becomes impossible, we’ll continue to stay in Vegas where we have career connections and family support. We are not going to move out of Vegas until we can do so debt-free. If things remain at the current pace, this will be in 4-5 years. But we’re going to try to expedite that process (explained below).
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Investing in the Present:

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Once we decided we were going to do whatever possible to stay in our current home, the choice to invest more into our garden and home came easier. We still had to decided what to invest and how. Perennial fruit-bearing, insectary and nitrogen-fixing plants, as well as animals, more raised beds and water catchment/graywater storage and usage encompass our desires.

In regards to plants, we’ve decided to invest in nitrogen-building and insectaryplants first. These will support our annuals and general landscape over the next year, thus saving us time and money. Come winter, we’ll be able to judge when or if to add fruit-bearing perennials (who’s benefit would be farther off) based on the local economy. Raised beds will be done using only free and salvaged materials, although the soil will likely be purchased. Animals for eggs or manure and rain and graywater catchment will save us money soon after their initial investment making it a worthwhile endeavor now.
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Investing in the Future:

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Then came the real financial discussion. Are we saving enough and what can we do to save more? What options do we have if Justin is laid off and what are our options now?

Two decisions were made. The first: I’m going back to work. As an independent massage therapist, I can make good money seeing only one or two clients a week. I love my work and if I’m careful about who I see (no more deep tissue work) I will be able to work without injury to my back. I saw my first client yesterday and it went very well. This decision brings up a lot of other thoughts; perhaps I’ll blog more about it later.

The second decision is to reconsider a new online venture. It’s been something I’ve been mulling over for quite some time, and although it is a small initial investment, it will require much more of my time and energy to get off the ground. But its potential of passive income (even if to the smallest degree) once it’s established is great and will be a huge asset to our goals. I’m not going to go into details just yet but if all goes according to plan, I will be getting started within the next week.  

So there you have it! I have a definitive course and plan of action, as well as feel so much more secure knowing we will be staying here as long as we possibly can. Not all of it is ideal but it feels good and stable, not to mention wise. And I love that I no longer have to feel so torn about pouring my heart and soul into my garden!

How is everyone else weathering the current economy? Anyone else deciding on new courses or making new plans?

Our local unschooling group meets weekly, rain or shine…which usually means shine. I think it’s been several months since it’s rained and the idea of escaping the heat for “park day” was too great a temptation. We decided to head up to the mountains for hiking and playing in the stream (or is it a creek?).

Of course, that’s the day it decides to rain. It was gorgeous and mild one minute and within moments rain clouds rolled in with the thunder and we sat shivering waiting for an acceptable time to break the news to our children that it was time to go. I won’t say the rain wasn’t appreciated. It was a most welcome repreive from months of dry heat and drought. I do hope when the real summer storms come they drop enough to actually moisten the ground in town.

Park days are an all day event. Preparing and packing - food, water, coolers, extra water, plarn project for me, toys, bikes, folding chairs and blankets. We call ourselves “marathoners” at the park. We pick the best spots because we’ll be there all day. By the time we get home, we’re tired but content, usually a little dehydrated and hungry. Maybe even with a tad bit too much sun or heat. Then there is unpacking and cleaning up and putting it all away for next week. Now we’re relaxing, watching movies on Netflix, eating the rest of our watermelon (too cold to eat in the chilly rain!) and recooperating. It’s a big day but it’s always a good one - running and playing and chatting and reaffirming and laughing and loving and sharing and eating. Good, good days.

***Helen at Homeschool Style Bytes just posted my recipe for unschooling. Her site is full of little “bytes” - snippets of inspiration for unschooling and homeschooling families. Be sure to check it out!

For all the silly made up words and the tickles and the funny nekked dances til we fall over laughing…

For all the times you’ve saved me from a bad day…

For the foot rubs you dole out generously…

For having more energy than should be legal at 7am…

For being up for any of my crazy ideas…

For inspecting the underside of leaves for insects and squishing what you find…

For being the one to admit school wasn’t working and helping us transform our life…

For crawling around on the floor to play…

For “cheating” at Monopoly…

For working when you don’t want to work simply because you love us…

For wanting to spend more time with your family than anywhere else…

For being the sexiest man ever in a red velvet dress…

For inside jokes…

And making our life possible…

For just being exactly who you are…

I love you. Happy Father’s Day.

And Dad,

For being their for my mom and for your children anytime, everytime…

For the biggest booming laugh…

For the compassion and tenderness you show your grandkids…

For being both the Grill Seargant and the Master of the Marinade…

For the corny jokes…

And the support show your kids and the pride on your face…

For forgiving your daughter when she habitually calls a day late on both Father’s Day and birthdays…

For being who you are…

I love you. Happy Father’s Day. Belated.

And to all the other awesome dads out there, I hope your day was as great as you all deserve.

I learned how to fondle hand-pollinate pumpkins!

The bees have been increasing but we’re not the sort to leave anything to chance, and when you’re looking for a reason to play in the dirt, you take what you can get. Even if it means feeling a bit pervy.

Justin has been reading from Seed to Seed: Seed Saving and Growing Techniques for Vegetable Gardeners about the pollination of pumpkins. It was something he had hoped to do but it seems our pumpkin flowers only open in the morning, when he was at work. I’m not sure if this is normal or simply a result of our heat. This left the job to me.

First Justin showed me the male flowers. Not sure how to tell a male flower from a female flower? If the pumpkin flower is open, its maleness is pretty obvious. That thing sticking out? It’s called a stamen. Or you can pull a Tara and refer to it as its “thingy”.

If the pumpkin flower is closed, look at the stem directly under the flower. A male flower will be only a stem, while a female flower has what will become the pumpkin, its size depending on how soon its flower will open. This is the size of the pumpkin the day it opened, but we first saw it when it was the size of a pea:

When the female flower opens, it’s difference is easy to tell. Instead of a single stamen, it has a multi-segmented stigma. Or what I lovingly refer to as it’s “girly stuff”.

Hand-pollination was simply, albeit embarrassing. After asking permission and apologizing profusely, I rubbed a Qtip around the males stamen, picking up the pollen. (You can also use your finger, but I really felt that was taking it too far.) I felt more than a little dirty inserting that Q-tip into the females stigma. We both blushed, had a moment, moved on.

Within the day, the flower had closed up and began drying and it’s baby bump had already begun growing. Five days later, it’s grown exponentially (proof of my prowess, perhaps?):

This is our Howden pumpkin, BTW, planted for jack ‘0 lanterns this Halloween. Who knew they’d also offer so much s*x education? Life learning at its best!

P.S. I’ve updated Our Garden page to show current photos and other info from our garden.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good stuff, can you be thankful for the not so good?
(Check out Holistic Mama to play along.)

I have scoliosis. It was discovered when I was about 10 or 11 and I was treated by Shriner’s Hospital in L.A. I was found to have a thoracic and lumbar curvature. They put me in a brace for several years until I was 14. The curvature of my spine was getting worse and the option was given to have surgery.

During the surgical rotation of my thoracic spine, my lumbar curve corrected itself. Still they fused 14 vertebras, T1-L2. They surgery was intense but thanks to lots of morphine and codeine I remember very little. They told me I was good to go and that was suppose to be the end of that. I have a scar done my spine, as well as along my hip where they took bone to graft the thoracic vertebras.

But anyone who understands the intricacies of the human body should have none that wouldn’t be the end of it. I’m not perfectly aligned, which wears on the joints and causes muscle misalignment.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve stopped doing massage and have lost muscle mass, or maybe all the wear and tear I put on my body during my working years, but the past few months have been increasingly difficult. Severe low back pain, piriformis syndrome, knee pain, numbness in my arms and legs and hyper-reflexive nerves. The orthopedic doctor I saw believes it to be degeneration of the lumbar spine and cartilage of the knee, as well as possible nerve impingement somewhere along the thoracic spine. But because his office sucks eggs the size of footballs, I can’t get an appointment or any straight answers. Based on x rays of the lower spine and my own physical observations, I also suspect the curvature of the lumbar spine to be worsening.

Because the fusion is virtually irreversible, all the natural treatments I didn’t know of 13 years ago (atlas-orthogonal chiropractic care, Egoscue Method muscle training, herbs and supplements to heal cartilage) are of little assistance now. I’m looking at some pretty bleak options. I won’t even go into insurance woes.

This is really hard but…

I’m thankfully anyway because it’s forced me given me the opportunity to slow down and take it easy.

I’m thankfully anyway because it’s given me a chance to tune in and listen to my bodies clues, to learn when to stop, to take preventative measures, and to not put off caring for myself. Also, to admit when I need help.

I’m thankful anyway because I have the love and support of my husband and my son who help me when I am unable to keep up, or forgive me when the house falls apart because I couldn’t get off the couch.

I’m thankful anyway because I have more knowledge now than we did when I was 13 and there are more options available to me, like acupuncture, yoga or physical therapy.

I’m thankful anyway because Shriner’s treated me for free, shuttled us to and from airports, fed us and didn’t charge my single mom a dime from four years of treatment or surgery. In hindsight there may have been a better route but I’ll always be thankful for Dr. Bernstein, the old men dressed as clowns that I was too old to enjoy and all the wonderful volunteers for doing all the could at the time.

I’m thankful anyway, because my time at Shriner’s showed me children without vital organs, whose bodies where covered in burn scars or who couldn’t walk. Children who hurt or were dying but smiled and laughed and gave love freely. Three year old boys missing limbs who flirted and hugged with the best of them. Many of whom never made it to their 18th birthday or had children of their own. And how can I begrudge my own situation when I remember the beautiful outlooks of so many physically worse off than myself?

I am alive. I am able. I am loved.

These are some of the many questions I’ve answered over the past year, as well as some all of you asked me recently. Here they are, in no particular order.

Day Four - Can’t Fight the Funk

Are they real? Uh, yes.

Can I touch them? Um, no. That’s creepy and I don’t know where you’re hands have been.

Can/Do you wash them? Yes and yes. However, it’s not suggested to wash them frequently (more than twice a week) as they are slow to dry and this can increase the risk of stinkiness. Not washing them also increases that risk. lol

How do you wash them? Similar to washing straight hair, although with slight differences. You must use a non-residue soap (which eliminates 99.9% of shampoos) and no conditioner. Regular shampoo and conditioners leave a buildup in your hair, which is nearly impossible to get out of dreadlocks and leads to yucky funk. Most dreadheads use Dr. Bronner’s soap with baking soda and apple cider vinegar as a rinse. Some use soaps specifically made for dreads. The former leaves my hair greasy and the latter usually contains tea tree oil to which I’m allergic. Thus, I use Neutrogena’s Non-Residue shampoo for now until I find a “greener” alternative that won’t leave me in hives.

How will you get rid of them? I’ll ignore the implications that this is a phase I’ll soon regret and answer by saying, anyone who wishes to remove their dreads can undertake the painstaking process of combing them out. Or they can cut their dreads very short and only need to comb out a small amount. Shaving is not the only option, but most definitely the easiest.

How long will you have them? Until the time is right to not have them anymore. I can’t really know what to expect and I tend to trust my intuition when it tells me to do something, so anything is possible. But I can easily see myself as an old lady with grey dreads done to my ankles.

7 weeks along - loops and bumps taking shape

Are you Rastafarian? If you mean do they have a spiritual connontation to them, yes. You can read about that here. But no, I am not Rastafarian.

Aren’t dreadlocks on white people cultural appropriation? In my opinion, no. Dreadlocks are what naturally happens to any person of any ethnicity who stop combing their hair. While they are most often associated with African-Americans or Rastafarians, many other cultures and races have them as well. They have been recorded throughout history, dating thousands of years back: remember the story of Sampson and Delilah from the Old Testament and his “seven locks of hair”?

Do you smoke pot/like Reggae/listen to P.O.D./know my dreadlocked friend, Bob? No. Yes, but that’s not why I have dreads. No. Not likely.

Will the roots grow out straight? How do you dread the roots? No, the roots will somehow work themselves into the dread. I have no idea how that happens but no (or perhaps little) effort on my part is needed.

6 Months and craaaazy…but isn’t Zeb’s painted bathroom awesome?

How long did it take you to put them in/what method did you use? My husband backcombed my hair for 14 long, painful hours.

Did you use wax? Do you recommend it? I do NOT recommend it. I made the mistake of using very small amounts when we first put them in and it took months to get it out. I’m sure there is some that will never come out. Keep in mind that the comanies telling you wax is okay are trying to make money from you.

Why in the world would someone ever do that to their hair? Right after I unwrap them and let them fall down in all their glory to freak you out more…I’ll ignore you.

I really want dreads but have no one to help me put them in. What should I do? How close do you live to me? ;) Search for a ”loctitian”; make sure they don’t use wax. Search Craigslist for a dready person to help you out. Bribe your closest friend. Or do them yourself by either backcombing or neglect.

How does one go about getting dreadlocks? Backcombing is one method (sorta like the teasing of the 80’s). Neglect is another. Crocheting is yet another but is more difficult to find instructions on.

One Year and only slight less crazy

How long have you had yours? Since May 17th, 2008

How many dreads do you have? I’m not sure. Somewhere around 36 but the count changes nearly every time. Go fig.

What’s with all the loops and bumps? Loops, bumps and flat spots are a natural occurrence with dreadlocks and fix themselves given time. Dreadlocks have a mind of their own and given the freedom they will express that to you. I could have spent time each day palm-rolling to avoid these but that would defeat their purpose for me.

Why do some of them look crazier than others? The dreads that get the most friction - namely the ones in the back and the right side, where I tend to sleep - lock up the fastest. Unfortunately, I can’t figure out how to sleep on the top of my head.

Do you know a lot of dready mamas? Not in real life. But here and here and here are just  few I’ve met online. And here’s an awesome Flickr group to scope out more.

Do you believe your dreadlocks to be sustainable? I do, although that wasn’t my intital purpose. However, the fact that my showers are shorter because I’m not washing daily, I only wash my hair 1-2x a week thus use less products, I can only use the most natural of products, and I don’t need a brush or fancy whatever, have convinced me of their “green” factor.

Where can I learn more? KnottyBoy.com has lots of info. Just ignore anything they say about wax.

Phew! Did I cover everything?

I feel like I’ve done a fair amount of both. Okay, probably more thinking. But I have a lot to think about. Justin is switching companies this week. He received a job offer that will last through December (as opposed to the current job ending in September). I’ve been contemplating opening up my entrepreneurial brain again with an idea I’ve been chewing on for some time (but have yet to gnaw through). And that’s just the financial side of things. As for an update on the challenge, here goes:

Goal #1 - Time Management

This has basically gone down the crapper. I’m not sure if it is because it is unrealistic of me to assume I can as easily micro-manage real life, as I could a business or if I’m just not feeling it. Perhaps all I can hope for is a personal morning routine that leaves me ready for the day, a reminder to make lunch and a well-written and noticeably displayed To-Do list for the rest of the stuff. Stick with what works for ya, right?

My mornings have been nice. I wake up early, spend time tending the garden, then escape into a shaded chair with a good book until Zeb wakes up. Lunch is still a pain - we’re never hungry ’til we’re starving, leaving us too jittery to handle a knife and too cranky to speak to each other. Ah, gotta love us hypoglycemics!

I don’t feel the computer is consuming my life anymore, though. In fact, I’ve been enjoying so many other things I have to remind myself to check my email or (gasp!) update my blog. Can you blame me? It’s June in Las Vegas and the temps have dipped to the 80’s! Who can stay inside??

Goal #2 - Harmonica

I chose my song! All My Loving by The Beatles. It’s pretty simple to play and I’m already memorizing it. I definitely need a new harp but I’m practicing with a plastic one to avoid swelling of the reed so I can put off a purchase for a bit longer.

Goal #3 - Decluttering

In the past two weeks, I finished the master bathroom, and my closet and drawers. I moved our Goodbye Pile into the garage but I need to box it better so it’s stackable and saves space.

This goal has kinda flopped because of back pain. I have a fused spine as a result of scoliosis. But even with major surgery, things are not aligned and the doctor (who has the worst staff and office management ever) thinks the lumbar discs, as well as the cartilage in my knee are degenerating. I’d know the results of the MRI if my appointment wasn’t royally screwed up. So, because of the back pain, I’ve been pretty limited on what I can do each day. I’m trying to take it easy and it’s leaving me restless and frustrated. Hopefully I’ll have answers and physical therapy soon. I started acupuncture last week, as well as chiro care. I think muscle strengthening is going to be key but I’m having a hard time doing it on my own without causing more pain.

We’ve all had them - or so I like to tell myself. Those days when you see yourself through the perspective of the less-than supportive. When you come face-to-face with criticism and incredulous remarks over your unschooling or peaceful parenting or consensual living and you allow it to shape your own views.

It’s not the tone or the words that matter - even if they hurt. No. It’s the feeling that you have to be perfect and knowing every moment of imperfection is blamed on our differing choices, regardless of the fact the same flaws, the same imperfections exist (and maybe, even usually, to a greater extent) within the realms of conventional parenting.

And we are all imperfect. I am imperfect. Still in need of support or understanding. Still too quick to fall back on old habits of parenting in moments of stress. Still figuring it all out and learning and healing and growing. And yet when you position yourself in such blatant contrast of the norm, when you choose a path that others do not understand, your every action and reaction is dissected for fault. Every moment of humanness is waved about as an ugly flag that what you do is “wrong”.

Perhaps, in my maddening attempt to rise above the typical, I spend too much time in introspection. What started as my questioning the norm and finding a better way has progressed into something more debilitating and less productive. I take what I hear to heart. I inspect the thoughts given to me - despite their tone or purpose - for any shred of truth. I look for ways to improve. And I kick myself when I find what I seek. I often find myself spiraling into my own fears (or someone else’s), allowing myself to become paralyzed with guilt and further adding to my ever-growing list of missteps. Perhaps, my real goal shouldn’t be finding fault to improve it but forgiving fault when it arises and moving forward from that moment.

I want to be different, if that’s what it takes to love and respect my child. I want to nurture his ideas and autonomy, even if that means a few more bumps when he is younger because I know it will mean less as he grows. I strive to listen and breath and think before I respond. I want to validate and advocate. I want to listen to him first, me second and forget all criticism that clashes with what our hearts tell us.

But I am not perfect. Nor is my child. Or our life. Not because our choice in lifestyle is flawed. Loving kindness is never flawed. But because we’re human, with histories that shape our present state of mind, that bring up fears and UnTruths and because it takes time for us to learn or unlearn and blossom and flow flawlessly with this Love.

We may not always experience one endless moment of Joy (did I ever elude we did?). But our joys are deeper and stronger and more full of laughter than they ever were before we found this path. Under even our most tumultuous days, flows an undercurrent of Trust and Love and Peace. All we have to do is take a deep breath and allow it to wisk us away to calmer waters.

I laid next to Zeb in bed the other night. We had just finished reading a few chapters of Little House and were cuddling, whispering to each other about our day and laughing quietly together. And though I had spent many days in the choppy waters (I) created from unkind words, I took a deep breath, recognizing that undercurrent pulling me back and let myself sink into it.

I whispered to my sweet boy that I love him…And he whispered back he loves me more…So I insisted I love him to pieces…

And he replied he loves me to crumbs…

And just like that, I’m swept away. No other words matter as much as those.

And the winner of the AffirmWater giveaway is….

Congrats to Sherry at Living & Learning!

Thanks to everyone for playing along and making this such a hit!

In other news, I have discovered a love for sunflowers. One by one our sunflowers are blooming, and although they don’t follow the sun like I thought they did, I’m in love and can’t stop singing “You Are My Sunshine” when I see them. Perhaps it’s because of their height and we can see eye to eye that I love taking them in. Perhaps it’s because they are the fastest growing and biggest things in our yard. Whatever it is, my new favorite flower is the sunflower. And as coincidence would have it…

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Let me share a few of the 2984665 sunflower photos I’ve taken.
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This one surprised us. We weren’t expecting such vibrancy. These are from our funky seeds gifted from another blogger last year. This is the only one to turn red so far.
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These are the other seeds from the same batch, red and yellow and gorgeous.
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Beginning of May
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Same sunflower a month later. It has over 3 dozen flower heads opening or getting ready to open and we’re counting more every day!
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Not a sunflower but still fun! Our first tiny cucumber!
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What fun things are happening in your garden right now?