Comments on: Free Range Kids

By: Sisterlisa

Sisterlisa — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:07:48 +0000

I completely agree. I’m not as free with sending my kids out unsupervised though. My boy, when he was 5, was jumped by a 8 yr old and took his ice cream money. He pushed him down and began kicking him in the stomach. So we are more careful in this neighborhood. I wish they could play outside without stuff like this happening to them.

By: Saskia

Saskia — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 07:27:12 +0000

I live in Europe and we don’t have as many rules, but we tend to invent some every year. Bicycle helmets for kids make more sense than for adults, as their skulls really aren’t as hard… And their sense of balance is less developed. We bicycle everywhere. My son is seventeen months old and travels in the front bike seat. I’m already gathering courage to let him ride a bike beside me when he’s a few years older. This is a topic that really worries me: how to find balance between safe and overprotective.

By: Colleen

Colleen — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 16:07:27 +0000

What a great article. My baby girl is 1 now, and I too have been thinking about how to allow her a real childhood, without putting her at risk. My dad used to whistle out the front door when dinner was ready or I had to come home. Otherwise, it was lord of the flies, you figure out your own situations (bullies, friend issues, whatever) unless there was a real need to get a parent involved. I have always been responsible. I despise the fact that Sadie may not get the same free range that I did. I have to figure this out, time goes by so fast and before I know it I will have to confront these issues. I just hope and pray I do the right thing and resist my urge to be too overprotective. Oh, and is it just me that thinks bicycle helmets are really stupid? I ride 3-4 times per week on a road bike on the shoulder of a highway about 12 miles round trip. I have not stopped riding my bike on a regular basis since I was on my first tricycle. I have never worn a helmet, I have had plenty of crashes, but never hit my head. I tend to think our instinct in a crash or fall is to protect your head anyway, plus we have a naturally hard skull. You wouldn’t believe how much crap I get for not wearing one. Don’t get me wrong, I have one, a very expensive one at that, but I hate it and never wear it. I hate the fact that I will be viewed as a horrible parent if I choose not to get her one. How could I explain why mommy doesn’t wear one? Sorry for the rambling, but this whole conversation has got me thinking about the ridiculous saftey measures we go through. Thanks for letting me vent. Sincerely, Colleen

By: Mephala

Mephala — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 16:58:04 +0000

I love this article. Thank you. It reflects how I feel about our world today as well. I remember how I used to run wild around my home and outside its compound as well. But now, even though we still live in the city, it is deemed unsafe and now helicopter parenting is the norm. In fact, if you don’t, you’re deemed irresponsible.

I bring my son to the playground and let him play freely (with some rules agreed upon like no rough play, etc)beforehand such as taking turnsand he climbs everywhere. My observation is that helicoptered kids seem less daring and more fearful, probably because they are repeatedly told that they will fall. I never tell my son that, although everywhere I go, when someone sees him climbing, they will tell him that. I just tell him to hold on tight with his hands and he will never fall, and that is the rule of climbing.

While growing up, I read all the Enid Blyton books where the young adventurers would roam the countryside solving mysteries. I’ve always wanted that for my children, so I do my best with what I have.

By: Janelle

Janelle — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 17:43:53 +0000

I just wanted to chime in on the library thing- as a family without a TV, we’re regulars at our highly used local library. Starting when my daughter was a little over 3, I felt comfortable leaving her in the children’s section and browsing the adult section nearby. Granted, she’s a quiet kid, will often sit and look at books on her own, and I trust her to find me easily (and not yell for me) if she needs/wants me. Our library is fairly small, so I can peek around the row and check on her, and she can find me pretty easily as well. But still, I think it’s up to the parent to decide if a child/youth is mature enough to be on their own somewhere, not some random age (I know some 5 year olds who I would not trust on their own at the same library, for noise and interaction with other people issues).

By: James

James — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 04:05:08 +0000

I read something recently about how children who are allowed unsupervised play in nature grow up to be concerned about environmental issues, while children who have directed outdoor activities that are supervised (hunting was mentioned) do not develop the same concerns.

I’m so grateful for my time as a child in the woods at my grandparents’ and in the abandoned field and swamp near my home.

By: TheOrganicSister

TheOrganicSister — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 18:03:33 +0000

Thanks for this link Patricia. I really enojyed reading this article.

By: patricia

patricia — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:34:07 +0000

I wonder if you saw this beautifully-written essay by Michael Chabon, about how kids these days are missing out on the “wilderness of childhood”.

http://www.nybooks.com/articles/22891

By: Krista

Krista — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 06:15:42 +0000

I have to say, I am just so, so, so tired of the daily sideways glances and glares from other parents at parks, etc. when I make choices that don’t conform to their choices in parenting. And on top of that, so, so tired of those other parents stepping in and imposing their “rules” on my kids, telling them when to do things or where not to climb, etc. And then telling me off for not being the one to tell them off so they “had to” do it. And then, there is the whole naked issue. My kids are naked crazy! And I can’t tell you have many altercations I’ve had with other parents and their children at beaches, even with just my two-year-old gone naked. The making fun, the looks, the horrific comments, the pointing and gaping and staring…. Man! What I am thrilled about is that my kids happen to be of the nature that if someone takes an issue with them about something, they’re the first to resist and do it more. Don’t climb onto the roof of the play hut, huh? Well, look how fast I can do it! I know, it’s not the most peaceful approach, but I’m glad they have the confidence and sense of self to be OK with their choices and their (apparently alternative and wacky) way of living. And sometimes? They even get hurt while making their own choices! They get bumps and bruises and scrapes and stitches and ….. we patch them up together and they learn something really valuable every time. It happens! Unless you live in a boring ol’ bubble, life happens. Life is dirty, it’s messy, it can be painful and it’s about falling down…. it’s also about freedom, independence, individuality, supporting each other when we do fall.

Disclaimer: a good sprinkling of common sense and good judgment is obviously part of the equation too.

Thanks for the post, and I hope this very tired mama rambling made some sense.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:56:03 +0000

Wow. And… amen. First, I am completely shocked about the park rule, and the other things, too. I guess I better count my blessings, because my kids are pretty free-range, too, and I haven’t been called on it by anyone but my own mother. Whom I feel free to ignore. I let them climb the library stairs and take the elevator back down — without me. I let them wander the children’s section while I stand in line at checkout. I remind them to whisper, and not to run. And they mostly remember.

I’m sorry you don’t have much freedom in your own neighborhood!