I got this question in my inbox the other day. The timing seemed to perfectly match the convos that have been floating around my circles the past couple weeks.
Could you guide me a little [in regards to] selfishness, and fulfilling a purpose. Is this a balance, or full out selfishness, or a little of balancing both. They say you can’t be half pregnant, so how does one live this life, with these two aspects drawing you into different areas?
I had to actually chew on your question a little bit. At first I wasn’t quite sure I understood it. I think that’s because I don’t relate to fulfilling one’s purpose as being something capable of being selfish. I think the selfish thing comes into play when a) we’re confronted by people who are scared when others upset “the way it should be” according to their limited perspective or conditioning, or b) we’re confronting our own inner voices telling us we’re not deserving of the things we love, value, and are passionate about.
I’m sure you can imagine my opinion on both those. 😉
Anytime we’re stepping outside of the parameters of mainstream we will stir up a little spiritual dust in ourselves and others. This is a GOOD thing. It gives us the opportunity for some internal housekeeping, sweeping away old beliefs we might not have realized were there and bogging us down, things that no longer serve us. It’s uncomfortable usually, but that’s where the magic happens.
That’s not to say following our purpose, passion, or dreams doesn’t create a balancing act…but it’s not a “me and my dreams versus [fill in the blank]”….it’s more of a “how do I meet my needs and help others meet their needs in a way that honors both of us” sort of thing.
It’s a subtle shift, but a life-changing one when we no longer view things as “versus” or “either/or”, but simply a matter of curiosity…”Hmm, how can I navigate this with grace and ease?”
This conversation lines up pretty well with what I was saying on Facebook the other day….
I’m not sure whether to find it tragic or funny that people are so closed off to or judgmental of those of us who work for ourselves. I’ve been snarked to, I’ve been told what I did would be more authentic if I did it for free rather than charge for it, and told it’s not okay to “make money from friends”. (Because it’s okay for strangers to support what you do, but if loved ones support you, well…you’re not deserving of that at all, right?)
Know what I say to that? Pfffffffttttttttttttttt. 😉
I let go of my money blocks, my feelings of unworthiness, and my desire to please others a long-ass time ago. I let go of the idea that I had to scrape by to make ends meet doing something I don’t love. I let go of the idea that I had to play small instead of make an impact in the world doing work that makes a difference. I let go of the idea that wanting to pay my bills in a way that fulfills me is somehow selfish. I let go of the idea that financial independence, security, and abundance somehow makes a person greedy. I let go of the idea that it had to look a certain way or be approved by the limiting beliefs and fears of others.
THAT is called freedom. And it’s a beautiful place to be. ♥