Yes, it was amazing. Surreal, actually. A bit like being on a movie set (especially when you walk up on the diner and gift shop 750+ feet underground – seriously?). It *almost* “took my breath away”…but it’s not as if I can live there so it wouldn’t count anyway. 
The formations were incredible and the information we all took away from the day is fairly immense. And we – including Zeb – can tell you the difference between the stalactite, stalagmite, soda straw, popcorn, column, flowstone and drapery formations, how each type was formed, as well as when the park was founded (1930), how our modern culture first discovered it (a 16 year old hiker following the bats) and what mountains of bat guano smell like (wet synthetic baby diapers).
We took one guided tour and walked the rest ourselves. I was much more impressed by the self-guided tours, namely the sheer size of the caverns. I couldn’t help but find the irony in the paved walkways and LED lights when the tour guide discussed how previous generations left burn marks on the rock and how we know better know than to disturb the area now. 
And I discovered just how weak my knees were as we traversed down the switchbacks. Yikes.
I’m still having a hard time at the end of the day. I’m emotionally, mentally and physically drained. And THAT is the exact moment when Zeb needs one-on-one time (or one-on-two time, since he prefers both our attentions). There are heavy moments when I don’t think I’m cut out for this lifestyle, but can’t imagine going back to a home. I know I need to strike a balance between downtime and “Going going going” but it’s hard when there is so much to see and do and we honestly don’t know how long we’ll have to do it. There is also a lot to be said about HOW we’re doing it that I think I’ll save for another post.
Our plan was and still is to find “a home” along the road. We’ve originally given ourselves one year to travel and search, but it seems impossible that we’ll feel “done” or ready to decide in just 11 short months with so much left unseen. I suppose we’ll just finally stumble across a place and not feel like leaving until one day we realize it’s our home. Until then the plan remains for the three of us to reevaluate the whole shebang at the end of 12 months. And maybe somewhere along the road I’ll hit my stride, fall out of “vacation mode” and find this isn’t so fucking exhausting after all.
More photos here and Justin’s account here.
I'm Tara Wagner, life coach and creator of the 
Well, not that I have any idea what I’m talking about, but I assume your CEU’s are taking up some head space. Once you’re past that your free time will be even more free.
I hope you find a balance soon. I have a hard time with it and I’m not facing nearly what you are. The caverns are amazing and I’d love to be able to see them one day.
Ah, so I just read Justin’s account. I’m guessing CEUs are continuing education units? Best of luck!
(And, I deleted the part where I asked what CEUs are in my first comment. Oops. Sorry for the multitude of comments.)
Tara – did ya ever see Finding Nemo? I’m picturing that one fish and she’s saying “Just keep swimming” to you (and me too!).
Works the same way here – end of day I’m spent and could really use some hermit time and that is exactly when Eli needs serious Mom attention to help him decompress – the balance? If I ever fully work that out I’ll be sure to let you know!
I totally love the notion of letting go of searching for a place to settle – you’ll know it when you stumble across it! Happened to me when we moved here to Tacoma – this area just feels like home to me and I’m holding the vision that will happen for the three of you as well.
Know that you make it up here you’re welcome to come over and at the end of the day we can light a fire in the firepit or turn on the tv or whatever and just chill together – no need for constant talking to be found here – promise
Take care… and breathe…
Sounds like you guys need a few do absolutely nothing days getting on each other’s nerves in the RV. Then you will be ready to get out and DO again, batteries recharged.
Oh, good luck on the search for “home”, just be sure you end up in Ithaca!
Hey Mama– Sorry to hear you’re overwhelmed and down. Sometimes funks are such a b*tch to get out of. It’s the big changes that occurred in the not too distant past that have made waves in your life today. We are creatures of habits by nature. Accept the circumstances of today and refocus your thoughts to the beauty of your time to travel. Many envy that your family could and did pack up and shove off on this great big adventure. You will have a house and neighbors and local spots again when you establish roots. For now, know that I, as your reader, think you’re brilliant and your life on the road sounds glorious. Embrace this awesome life experience. Bring some routine to your road life if it will provide comfort. And keep blogging… I always enjoy seeing a new post in my googlereader. Namaste
dont worry, you’ll get used to it. i do still find myself complaining about stuff sometimes but then i think of all the good things we couldnt do in a house. we are doing this to find a place to settle too so sometimes i let myself get anxious about it. that doesnt help very much! we decide dwhen we started that we would try to spend at least a month in the places we really wanted to check out so we didnt feel rushed. we just spent 3 months in one town in florida and didnt get to do all the stuff i wanted to do!
i thought i wouldnt have to clean as much because there is less space but it doesnt seem to work that way. the tiniest mess feels huge when your in a tiny space!
living in a tiny cramped space takes some time too
take deep breaths and know it will get easier
I hope you find that balance soon. When I picture traveling like you are, and meeting all those great people, it sounds so great but I know it would exhaust me to no end. Introverts have such a need for quiet, alone time! I would be so dang cranky, unfortunately, traveling all the time. Unless, I could figure out that way to get my down time. I’m sure you know all that, and you’ll find it. Awareness of the need is the first step, right? For the longest time I thought I was just a bad person for getting so cranky when things were busy and social, now I know it’s just my needs are different than a lot of the world’s.
Could you and Justin take turns with Zeb? Make some kind of nightly ritual/routine/rhythm where this would work and be dependable for Z?
thank you so much for your honesty.
i love reading about your adventures but they are so much more real because you are sharing some of the struggles too.
hang in there. you guys are doing great!!!
~erin
I’m jealous, I want to go to Carlsbad Caverns. I love caves!
Sorry to hear about the stress and exhaustion. Sight-seeing is very draining. Hope you find your groove and can get back to living life at a more normal pace.
Greetings neighbor
I know we haven’t had much of a chance to connect yet, and looking forward to doing so.
Your exhaustion and strive for balance so resonates with my first couple months on the road. The shock of leaving behind an established community and support network, combined with a feeling of having to be in constant experience mode – new things, new people, new challenges. We were traveling in a rig half the size of the one we’re currently in, and exploring a brand new relationship at the same time.
I had a couple big time crashes in those first couple months. Somewhere around the 2 month mark is where it switched in my brain from ‘vacation mode’ to ‘nomad mode’. So many times I was one click away from buying a plane ticket ‘home’.
As a major introvert, I had to build up defenses to protect my energy levels with the constantly changing social expectations. As a planner person by default, I had to build my agility and concentrate on the bigger picture through the minutia of details and daily stresses.
Three years later.. I don’t regret it one bit, and I am thriving with it. It just flows.. I hit my stride about 2 years ago. We know there are different modes when we feel called to be still and focus (like now.. thus why we’re not overly social, saving it up for the rally). And modes when we’re in full on ‘experience soaking’ (like the past several months, without break). I’ve come to enjoy both the intensity of pace and lulls.
I look forward to sharing and connecting over the course of the next few weeks. And I am sending you energy of balance and calmness. Enjoy the breezes here at Hill Shade, they are calming indeed.
(PS. Love your photography!)
Hey, Tara, this is such a fabulous read! Hope you’re enjoying your January- remember how much better it all is when you dont ruin yourself with stress and exhaustion. Love to you.