Category Archive for "Organic Parenting"

The Things That Matter in 5 Years, What We Birth, and the Space Between

A lot of you have asked me where the inspiration for my “Organic Wisdom” updates on Twitter and Facebook come from. The answer? They are my own reminders. They are the things that my intuition reminds me when I pay attention, the things I hear when I’m banging my head against the keyboard, the words Spirit slips my way when I’m artfully avoiding it. This one {above} has been with me for years. Do you know how often I find myself nit-picking, nagging, sighing over {a little habit I picked up from my mom – thanks Mom. }, getting riled up about, worrying over, or generally being a bitch about that WILL. NOT. MATTER. in five years? More than I care to enumerate. Life is a freaking process. Growth is a practice. Letting go challenges me in deep and sometimes shattering ways. We travel to Vegas this weekend, to meet…

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I Say Ego, But I Really Mean Fear

I sometimes throw around the word Ego. But I’m really not fond of the common definition or the connotation. This is a throwback to my upbringing, to being raised in a belief that there is some inherently bad or broken part of us that, as humans, we must fight against (fight against it in ourselves and fight against it in others, namely in our children). I don’t believe this. At all. I do not believe there is a soul on this planet who is naturally bad, born terrible, or inherently evil. There are people who do some terrible, diabolical, tragic things. But I hesitate to even use the word “evil” to describe them, as this just seems to me a cop-out, as if I can all easily explain away such behaviors with a sweep of the hand, brushing off the deeper cause and responsibility we all have (to one another)…

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All I Want To Do Is Be With Him

It’s not like I DON’T have work to do. Oh, I do. I’m starting on turning the Mastermind into my business handbook, and have some new systems to figure out and put in place, and about 986593298739237 blog posts replaying themselves in my head. But the only thing I find myself fully showing up for right now is emails and clients. And my husband. Zeb’s only been gone about 5 days. And this isn’t his first trip without us. But something feels different. Like we’re two kids in love again. Exploring the world together. Exploring each other. We know Zeb is in good hands and having a blast. We’re not worried about him like we were last time. I guess that’s what feels different, why we’re able to relax and breathe and enjoy one another so much more than last time Zeb traveled without us. We’re not worried, so all…

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Sending Him Off Again

Zeb left yesterday afternoon, heading to Vegas again for an extended visit with family and friends. We’ll meet him there before Thanksgiving, and for my little sister’s wedding, which means we have three weeks to share together – just Justin and me. It’s still¬†weird, having a teenager who has a life beyond yours. Does that part of parenting ever get less weird? I’m told it doesn’t. I suddenly understand this quote so much better now: Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. (Elizabeth Stone) He suddenly has memories that I don’t share, details that I’ll never know, conversations with strangers on a plane that I’ll only wonder at, trivial moments of his life that are only his, not worth sharing or even knowing but still taken for granted as a mama that you’ll…

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My Child’s Choice in Food Hurts My Ego

My adulterated grocery cart. We went grocery shopping a few days ago. Being mostly paleo now, all our food is on the periphery of the store, meaning it gets mostly filled by yummy, healthy food before we hit the inner aisles. And we hit those aisles primarily for Zeb. Oh, Zeb. 13 years old now and three inches taller than me, the kid eats more than Justin and I combined most days. And my ego wants to tell him that’s because of what he eats, because it holds so little nutritional value that he’s always hungry. Officially shopping in the men’s department. My ego wants to tell him all sorts of things. It wants to tell him what he “should” eat, and why, and insist that I’m right. Because I’ve done the research, I know the facts, and I’ve been there, done that, which obviously makes me the expert on…

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My Aversion to My Child’s Passion Does Not Make Me a Bad Mom

The current Organic Parenting e-course group is underway; most of them on Module 5, this one is dedicated to playful parenting. The irony in this is that while over 100 women are listening to me talk about how to bring more playfulness and joy into their home, I’m coming to peace with the way in which I’m just not playful. Case in point: I’m coming to peace with not playing video games with Zeb. Justin plays with him, and I’ve spent the last 5 years trying to play. And I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not pushing myself to play video games, not guilting myself for not playing them, not apologizing for not playing them, I’m not even Digging Deep with what I was calling my resistance. I don’t need to. This is one of those times when the barrier I had was less about what I couldn’t get myself…

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Organic Wisdom :: Are We Teaching Perfectionism?

On occasion, I like to share some of the quotes I post on Twitter and Facebook, with some of my expanded thoughts on it here. “Organic Wisdom” is what I have found speaking to me in those quiet moments, that guides me and that echoes Truth in my life. Please feel free to download, or share this image in any way you’d like. Many of us know what a curse perfectionism is as adults. It keeps us working too hard at a job that doesn’t fulfill us, criticizing ourselves for our natural limitations, or judging ourselves by the talents and strengths of another, instead of by our own. Or it keeps us feeling hopeless, unwilling to even try since we know we can never attain that elusive perfection we’ve been convinced is the only thing worthy of our attention (or the attentions of others). We know what perfectionism is. We…

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Six (Wide Sky) Days Together

In case you didn’t see from my Instagram stream, we spent 6 entire days at the Wide Sky Days conference in San Diego. (WSD is an unschooling conference: a long weekend to gather with other “crazy unschoolers” and play, laugh, connect, ask, answer, realign, inspire, support, and laugh with one another.) What you probably noticed from said Instagram stream is an almost total lack of photos including children. Zeb spent most of his time in the game room and prefers not to have his picture taken much anyway, but I did manage to nab one photo of him: We got to see him find his own comfort level with meeting new people and balance it with plenty of quiet time to himself. (Yes, he’s still in his Caveman phase, and it’s so wonderful to be around other teens and adults who have “been there, done that” and meet him where…

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The REAL “Problem with Kids These Days”: Our Anger

I’m in a state of disbelief (and disappointment) as I write this. Disbelief at the things that happen in our world and the ways we react to them. Disappointment that our violent reactions towards children have become acceptable. Violence creating a backlash of violence creating a demand for more violence. I don’t care if you’re talking about bullying, or spanking, or criticizing, or shaming, or neglecting, or disrespecting, or isolating, or ignoring. It’s all violence. I read something (that I won’t do the honor of sharing) on Facebook. Something to the extent of children being bullies and brats because parents lost the right to “beat their asses”. One hateful opinion happens and I can move on. But the hundreds of hateful comments that followed it? “Hellz yes!” “haha” “amen!” “Little assholes” “get a cut ass” “these kids have everything given to them” “they all need a good ass whooping” “I…

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Organic Wisdom :: How To See A Child

On occasion I like to share some of the quotes I post on Twitter and Facebook, with some of my expanded thoughts on it here. “Organic Wisdom” is what I have found speaking to me in those quiet moments, that guides me and that echoes Truth in my life. Please feel free to download, or share this image in any way you’d like. One of the best questions I’ve ever asked myself: how does my child need to be seen? The answers that spoke to me in the ensuing silence? With patience. As someone loved and lovable. As a real human being. (Now. Not just when he grows up.) As someone capable of greatness. Capable of learning. Worthy of respect. Another version of this question: how does my child WANT to be seen? As a comedian? A rock star? A scientist? A novelist? As serious? Mature? A kind person? Someone…

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