Category Archive for "Organic Tribes"

The More I Know Myself, The Less I Care

The more I know myself, really and deeply know my Self, the less I’m finding I care… I don’t care what I look like. I don’t care that I make mistakes. I don’t care that my thoughts go off on wild, unhelpful tangents. I don’t care that I get afraid or triggered. I don’t care to spend so much time Digging Deep. (Gasp! I know!) The more I know myself, the less I find I care about others too… I don’t care what others think of me. I don’t care if they agree or disagree with me. I don’t have endless opinions or fears on the choices they make either. And I don’t care if I’m accepted or rejected. (Yes, despite my equally strong drive to not blindly follow the norm, this was very much a big thing for me.) I just don’t have the energy anymore, let alone the…

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When Your Good Life Makes Others Feel Guilty

I’ve been seeing a lot of those posts on Facebook, where a person apologizes for loving their life too loudly, and reassures everyone that it’s not actually perfect. They explain that they tend to focus on the good for their own benefit, but then they might rattle off all the things that suck to assure others that they are not trying to make anyone feel guilty. I’m torn on this. I understand the intention. I know none of us wants to portray something that isn’t realistic. And I know we want to be mindful of how our actions affect another human being. But is bringing our mindfulness practice, our personal growth, our spiritual awareness, or joy, or our embodiment of love down a level really helping anyone (ourselves included)? You all know I share the depths of my soul, my emotional tornados, and my process through it all quite freely….

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Miracles Happen When I Get Out of the Way

That’s been my reminder these past few weeks. (Getting out of the way.) I have a tendency when funk hits the fan to get in there. To stress. To get upset, in the very charming woe-is-me-Life-is-out-to-get-me kind of way. (Really, you should see me some time. You’d probably have a lot more compassion for your own bad days. I know, you’re all surprised. I may have some wisdom and mindfulness, but I also still have an ego to work with and she’s a tough nut to crack.) But the past few weeks have been totally breathtaking in those subtle ways we don’t usually realize even when we are paying attention. Let me start from the beginning…. First, Justin was in a car accident. Someone ran a red light and he plowed the poor guy over. Because I had been doing my own practice of mindfulness, meditation, and breathing, this totally…

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The Wisdom of Life’s Immoveable Objects

(This was originally shared on another lovely blog which has since been taken down. I’m reposting it here, as a reminder to myself as well.) We all have our paths to walk down in life. As we walk we experience the things we tend to experience – the valleys, the marshes, the darkness of the woods. Sometimes we travel alone. Sometimes we travel with others for a time, and then our paths diverge again. As we walk down our life’s path, we get to do some clearing along the way. The brush gets thick and we clear it, some branches have fallen and we move them to the side. But every so often on our path we come across an immoveable object, a boulder that creates such an obstacle that we can not move. A scary diagnosis. A heavy divorce. A lost job. A project that flops and leaves us…

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Gratitude Is All That’s Left (when we stop trying so hard)

It’s Thanksgiving week. Our little family of three is planning our dinner and a long weekend, disconnected from the ‘puters and connecting with the tangible world. We have yet to finish building our table. We’ve yet to find a couch we love. So we’ll be eating our meal in a camping chair. And we’re okay with that. We have new friends offering us furniture, but we’ve happily declined. Vast and empty space is a luxury we’re not willing to give up. But more than that I recognized something in my past that’s no longer there: the urge to “settle”. We can spend years of our lives settling for things that don’t light us up, don’t make us happy, don’t inspire us. Sometimes we do it “for now” and sometimes we do it forever. And sometimes “for now” turns into “forever”, because that’s how we humans work – firmly within our…

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It’s Like Nesting (Without Any Eggs)

I have a totally awesome reason for not blogging last week. We moved into a house. Yup, yup, 3.5 years on the road are being tucked into the Awesome Things We’ve Done file and we are literally sprawling out on the floors, and marveling that 1) no one has to step over us to get to something and 2) our hands don’t reach the walls. It’s the little things, people. Little things like a a full-size oven (homemade pizza and muffins! at the same time!), a backyard for Bear to sniff his little heart out, a full-size water heater so my showers can last a full five minutes without going cold, and a dishwasher that doesn’t complain that we make too many dishes. It’s still a small house, only 1300 square feet, but it feels like a freaking palace. Zeb has a bedroom (the only room already filled to the…

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Granny, Life, and Breaking Open

Let me just lay it out for you: Life is speaking loudly to me and the bedrock is shifting drastically beneath my feet. I can’t see it all, but I feel it and I just want to let you know. It’s going to change me. We got the text last Tuesday that Granny (my great-grandma) may not make it to her 99th birthday at the end of this month. That my grandparents were flying out, my aunt’s already there, my mom making plans. It’s funny how often we can second-guess our instincts in some times and how easy it is to see and understand in others. This moment I knew quicker than instantly that I was going too. Within an hour I had a car rented, and plans made to drive north. My heart kept holding an image of her hands in my hands. I didn’t know what to expect,…

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My Retreat Turned Into Retreating

I’ve got my feet up, my heart out, my head on. I’m not sure if I’m ready or just resolute, but I’m on my way. Confronting my resistance with 7 days of all day, every day meditation. It might blow my mind to bits. But that might be a good thing. That was the photo and those were the words rattling around within me Friday. Right before I turned my phone off, handed it to my hubby, and arrived at the ashram. I’m not sure how to describe the week that followed. People like to ask if I “had a good time”, but “good” is not exactly the word that fits. It wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t exactly good either. Useful. That was the adjective I settled on. It was a useful week. Enlightening. Challenging. Helpful in many ways. Heart-wrenching in others. I knew I’d be confronting my resistance to…

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Self-Acceptance Means Trusting Change

The Guiding Word in the Sisterhood for September is Self-Acceptance and it’s got my wheels turning hard-core. I’ve been doing a lot of new inner discovery, noticing things about myself that make me laugh at how obvious it all is and making squirm at the same time. Why squirm? Because for me Self-Acceptance is bringing up one very old story, one very old bullshit trigger: Can I? Am I allowed? We all have our identities, subtle or not. We see ourselves as a set of traits, characteristics, things we’ve built into our personality or things others have defined for us. Identities can be as obvious as “entrepreneur” or “parent” or “partner”, the roles we play in our life and the lives of others. They can be based around the things we’re passionate about – “artist” or “hippie”. Or they can be as subtle as “the person who makes people laugh”,…

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It’s Here! Introducing the all New Organic Sisterhood

I’ve been dropping hints for a few weeks now, and I’m excited to let you all know that the new Organic Sisterhood is finally here! I’ve loved watching the Sisterhood grow and change and shift (along with its members!) over the last couple years. But through it all, I’ve been searching, too – searching for ways to bring more to the Sisterhood, to provide you with a warmer, deeper, more supported community – all while maintaining the spirit and soul of the Sisterhood. I had a vision of what I wanted, but wasn’t sure how to create it until I sat down to really listen. These were the exact words that poured out as I did: We are women aching for community, for a chance to know ourselves, especially through the knowing of and connecting with others. We have a deep desire to see and be seen, to hear and…

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