Category Archive for "People I Love"

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I Carry Her Heart With Me

Ten months ago I made a mad rush north to Nashville to visit my great-grandmother, after receiving the news that she may only have days or hours left. She was turning 99, and I was honored and heartbroken to hold her hand and tell her I love her. I was also overwhelmed and joyful that she didn’t pass away. In fact, she seemed to have the life breathed into her with all of her family surrounding her. Two weeks ago I went north to Nashville to teach oil classes and sneak in some time with my aunt and my Granny again. I walked into her room, tried my best to wake her, and finally admitted that after nearly 100 years of living, she’s allowed to sleep through visitors. So, I anointed her hands with rose oil, curled up next to her, and I whispered that I loved her. She raised…

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Justin and Kim

Life is a Really Strange Beast. Death is Even Stranger.

My sweet man lost his mother last week, and in the worst way possible. 2000 miles away, he had to make the call to take her off life support. Because death doesn’t just slap you; when it gets the chance, it goes for the sucker punch. It’s strange to watch someone go through something you’ve gone through. I keep remembering the Grief Bubble I walked in after my dad passed, as if I was insulated from reality. The world was there and I could hear it, but as if through glass or water. I remember how odd it was that life kept going when I was certain part of the universe had just disappeared. I remember how unfathomable it was to my mind that he could suddenly not be “here”, as if space itself could just disappear. That’s what it’s like to lose someone who brought you into existence. Unfathomable….

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Miracles Happen When I Get Out of the Way

That’s been my reminder these past few weeks. (Getting out of the way.) I have a tendency when funk hits the fan to get in there. To stress. To get upset, in the very charming woe-is-me-Life-is-out-to-get-me kind of way. (Really, you should see me some time. You’d probably have a lot more compassion for your own bad days. I know, you’re all surprised. I may have some wisdom and mindfulness, but I also still have an ego to work with and she’s a tough nut to crack.) But the past few weeks have been totally breathtaking in those subtle ways we don’t usually realize even when we are paying attention. Let me start from the beginning…. First, Justin was in a car accident. Someone ran a red light and he plowed the poor guy over. Because I had been doing my own practice of mindfulness, meditation, and breathing, this totally…

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100+ Things I Hope to Teach My Son

There’s this list going around the interwebs of 101 things to teach a daughter. As with all things online, everyone has an opinion, thinks it’s wonderful, thinks it’s horrible, thinks it contradicts itself (cuz life – or we as parents – never do that). But mostly I just found it thought-provoking. Like what are all the big and little things I hope to teach my son? What do I hope he picks up from us, others, or Life? What might I save him some time (or heartache) by showing him now? I found myself going back and forth, between that maternal desire to impart to him the wisdom that might allow him to improve upon what my generation has done, and that cautious mindfulness that reminds me I really don’t know jack about what he needs in his own life compared to my limited perspective of his journey. But despite…

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Howling at the Moon and the Things Captured

A full moon, a super moon, sumer solstice, and the lead-up to Mercury Retrograde. Oh I was feeling it all. And this time I let myself go, let myself create a little #howlfest to sink into. I circled with new friends and allowed tears to flow, even though they had no obvious source. I leaned in and trusted the cleansing process that I could feel was taking place. I rested. I drank cheap wine from a mason jar and watched stupid movies and was okay with that. I drew myself in with my guys, disconnecting for the weekend, and allowing ourselves to head to a matinee, to laugh in the truck, to make new dishes, and read paperbacks I found in the laundry room. I dove into a drum circle, and took place in the changing of the guards, the drumming to the setting of the sun and the rising…

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Hello Life, My How You’ve Grown

June 2nd marked the longest we’ve ever been in one place since we’ve traveled. (I’m totally not counting the months we were in Vegas upgrading rigs.) We’ve now been in this spot for two and half months. In this area for 4 and half months. In this state seven and a half. No, I don’t consider us off the road yet. Yes, I realize I’m being stubborn. We’re still in the RV. We’re still not making any real plans. We’re only looking day-by-day. Today, tomorrow, maybe this week, a little into next month. We’re open. Open to the idea that we have no idea. Open to the experience of Whatever This Is. Open to be directed through it all, just flowing with it, a little Lazy River of Life right now. The synergy has been tremendous. Tree. Men. Duss. It’s like planting these seeds in our little RV Garden. We…

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13. Snorkel with an underwater camera (video – and an added bonus)

I feel like I’ve been blowing through my 31 Things list. I haven’t really, but I have been working through it at a steady pace. But #13? Oh yeah baby. Simply. Amazing. I can’t describe what it’s like to be doing things I never saw myself doing. It’s like trying to picture yourself as breaking mach speed…just not really on your radar until one day it is and you can’t believe you’re making it happen. We went out in Key Largo, rented a boat from John Pennekamp State Park, and dove in with friends. Zeb didn’t stay for long – cold and wet and over-his-head are not really his thing. It! Was! Amazing! The reef was gorgeous and the fish spectacular, but what took me by surprise by the Christ of the Abyss statue. Many, many jokes were had at old Jesus’ expense, but to see it was still pretty…

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And It Shall Be Known As The Big Chill

We met and connected instantly with the Paul family and the Mattern family back at Wide Sky Days in September. Justin and I invited them to join us in January in the Keys. We weren’t sure it would come together (because how often do such things ever pan out with three busy lives?), but it did. It may have taken us 3 hours to decide but our time together came to be known as #thebigchill13. (You can see all the photos on Instagram with that tag). I can’t even begin to describe how amazing it is to call these families our friends, to see our kids connect, and to have so much fun. So different in so many ways, so very much the same, all with a total love and appreciation for one another. The sheer amount of laughter, depth, fun, and support we shared with these incredible people is…

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All I Want To Do Is Be With Him

It’s not like I DON’T have work to do. Oh, I do. I’m starting on turning the Mastermind into my business handbook, and have some new systems to figure out and put in place, and about 986593298739237 blog posts replaying themselves in my head. But the only thing I find myself fully showing up for right now is emails and clients. And my husband. Zeb’s only been gone about 5 days. And this isn’t his first trip without us. But something feels different. Like we’re two kids in love again. Exploring the world together. Exploring each other. We know Zeb is in good hands and having a blast. We’re not worried about him like we were last time. I guess that’s what feels different, why we’re able to relax and breathe and enjoy one another so much more than last time Zeb traveled without us. We’re not worried, so all…

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Sending Him Off Again

Zeb left yesterday afternoon, heading to Vegas again for an extended visit with family and friends. We’ll meet him there before Thanksgiving, and for my little sister’s wedding, which means we have three weeks to share together – just Justin and me. It’s still¬†weird, having a teenager who has a life beyond yours. Does that part of parenting ever get less weird? I’m told it doesn’t. I suddenly understand this quote so much better now: Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. (Elizabeth Stone) He suddenly has memories that I don’t share, details that I’ll never know, conversations with strangers on a plane that I’ll only wonder at, trivial moments of his life that are only his, not worth sharing or even knowing but still taken for granted as a mama that you’ll…

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