Category Archive for "People I Love"

Right when we need to love each other most

You build with mortar the barriers around you Going into shutdown mode With robotic automation And I pick up the slack With my overwhelming frustration An attempt to bulldoze your red brick wall My mind whispers otherwise Reminding me its compassion that tears down fences That creates safe spaces that coax you out of hiding But usually my ego wins Responding from the fear recalled by my previously wounded heart You’re not him Any of those other hims And I’m not the girl I was then either Nor am I the person who taught you to withdraw But still we slip into those places our experiences have created Those places that tell you to hide And me to fight for my life That forget the safety we can celebrate in the other’s arms And I’m thankful for those moments for two reasons. One: that they never last long That what…

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Making Time Together :: Yoga in the Woods

I shared on the Organic Tribe last month how April sort of felt like a kick to the teeth. We had mishap after mishap and mine and Justin’s main relationship trigger is stress. Not just stress, but a string of stress that really throws us off and disconnects us. We were good for the first round. The second, third and fourth rounds is when we fell apart. We’ve found that when we can come together we can weather damn near anything. But in April we let 9863653886 give us the lame excuse to not make time to come together. We really noticed this by the end of the month. Yeah, things were stressful with tires going flat and slide breaking and the dog getting fleas and on and on. But it was made harder by our distance from one another. It’s too easy to allow Life become an excuse. It…

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Anxiety, Overwhelm, Sorrow :: And All I Heard Was Love

It’s Sunday evening and my spirit feels spent but at peace. It started Thursday, as we were driving the 5th wheel through the hills of Tennessee, reaching Knoxville during rush hour traffic, when the engine began to struggle for the power to pull 16,000 lbs up the steep incline. We were on our way to surprise our family, who was gathering in Nashville to celebrate six generations, and my heart wanted to be there, not broke down in the parking lot of a Toys R Us. It started there, but it didn’t stop there. Our weekend looked a little like this: Stress: The feeling when you send the truck up the hill on not much more than prayers. Anxiety: What creeps in when you almost don’t make. Frustration: When it’s 6:20 but everything closes at 6pm and you realize you’ll be sleeping in the parking lot right in front of…

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Ebb and Flow and Love Notes

My hubby and I. Who knew you could still love someone so much after nearly 12 years? (I didn’t.) It’s not always pretty love notes around here. In fact, about a month ago we went through several weeks just. Not. Connecting. We couldn’t reach each other. We were overscheduled and underenergized and it sucked. But life ebbs and flows like that, and we’re learning to flow with it. (And making time for lovin’ doesn’t hurt either.) This week brought a flow of hidden love notes to brighten me day. Hidden in my laptop…. In the bathroom…. Wrapped around my toothbrush…. Stuffed in my makeup bag…. He’s a keeper this one. ♥ ♥ ♥

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His First Solo Trip

Zeb has always been an independent person. From the time he could scoot and crawl he preferred lots of time out of my arms. As a toddler he loved his day trips out with grandparents or aunts. And for many years he’s chosen to stay home alone whenever possible. That’s the easy “free range” stuff for me. Watching him board a plane for his first solo flight – that makes my heart clench a little. Lemme go back… A few months ago Zeb was feeling a lot of homesickness. We talked and he processed and at the time we didn’t see what else to do other than empathize. Then that night I had one of those “Duh” moments when you suddenly ask yourself why not and realize you don’t have any reason other than “I just hadn’t thought about it.” So I asked him, “Would you like to fly back…

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From Loneliness to Love-Fest: My Story of Finding Friendship in an Unexpected Way

Did you know, up until not long ago, I used to sulk in my hubby’s shoulders and ache? I ached for a connection I never had, but had seen glimpses of. I ached for that deep and unmistakeable connection you feel with another woman, a girlfriend, a best friend. I haven’t had a friend like that since I was 18 or so. I had my sister and we were thisclose, and it was strong. But as I shifted and changed, so did our relationship for many years. And I ached. I mean ached…literal heart-aching for a woman I could call and cry with and laugh with and grow with. My mama had that. Her bosom buddy, Melodie, was also like our godmother. She was confident and hilarious and warm and authentic. And I watched them, my mom and Mel, as they sewed together and laughed together and raised children together…

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Father + Son = Oddballs!

I love my guys. I know that probably goes without saying, so maybe I should say I actually really LIKE them, I enjoy them, I marvel at them and just thinking about them makes me smile with love for Who They Are. The two of them make the most interesting (sometimes challenging ) father-son duo I’ve ever known. Do you know the juggling story? Well then…let me tell you. Last year, the day after Thanksgiving to be exact, Zeb asked Justin how to learn to juggle. Justin, never having done it but being fully indoctrinated in Google-School, said, “Good question. Let’s find out.” Oh, blessed YouTube and how you enrich our lives. (Seriously, can you believe YouTube is only about 6 years old? How did we LIVE without YouTube before 2005??) An hour later, and Zeb had satiated his curiosity for how one learns to juggle. Four or five hours…

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The Carousel of Leaving

I feel like I’ve been here before, this familiar but different place. It’s transition, known and unknown to us. We’ve already said our goodbyes a year ago, but only for the year. It was difficult but exciting. And now we’re embarking for the last time and with no plans for return. And it’s not exactly difficult but the excitement is not quite the same. There’s no fanfare, no newness to our departure this time. And yet this time it feels more like goodbye to us. Just a few weeks ago I recorded my grandparent’s talking about their childhood, how they met and their life together. And then last night, as we joined them for dinner, I saw time fold upon itself as their past and the present showed itself to me as one carousel. I saw Justin and I sitting across the table from our own grandchildren, looking back on…

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Inspiration Monday – The (Official) Birth of a Family

It’s been a busy few weeks. Two spent in Southern California, visiting, meeting, working, creating and exploring. And then we headed back to Nevada for a very special court date. Yes! It’s official! Justin and Zeb’s adoption has been finalized! It feels good to call official what we’ve known for almost a decade. It also felt really amazing to see my 11 year old bouncing up and down in his seat with The.Biggest.Grin on his face as the judge announced it so. Now we’re hanging in town for another week, wrapping up our loose ends and hanging out deep in my Creative Cave while I iron out the last of my new e-book. After that? We’re cruising up the West Coast and anxiously awaiting Northern California. I’m going to be editing photos for ages…you know, if I ever get started. In the meantime, here’s some inspiration I’ve been swimming in:…

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A Christmas Wish

We have family coming flying in and food to create; friends and family to visit and carols to sing; gifts to give and movies to watch. Today we spent the afternoon with grandparents, aunt, uncles and cute little nieces making, icing and decorating holiday cookies…and playing in the flour. I hope your Christmas is just as beautifully messy, in the very best of ways.

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