Category Archive for "Organic Wisdom"

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The Story of My Dream Car Almost Crushing My Dreams

I bought my dream car last week. The kind of car you give yourself permission to buy when you no longer tell yourself you have to be practical or realistic or whatever other stories I used to tell myself. I never counted on it being such a huge lesson in patience, determination, forgiveness, and self-love. That’s because I never counted on buying a manual. But as it turns out metallic blue, convertible Mini Coopers with my exact specifications AND with an automatic transmission are pretty rare. I know. I searched nationwide for what I wanted. We almost hopped planes to AZ, NJ, and southern FL to bring one home. But again and again the deets kept coming up bad – bad dealerships, bad CarFaxes, bad vibes man. So when one popped up in our neighborhood that was a manual, I figured we could at least go look at it and…

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The More I Know Myself, The Less I Care

The more I know myself, really and deeply know my Self, the less I’m finding I care… I don’t care what I look like. I don’t care that I make mistakes. I don’t care that my thoughts go off on wild, unhelpful tangents. I don’t care that I get afraid or triggered. I don’t care to spend so much time Digging Deep. (Gasp! I know!) The more I know myself, the less I find I care about others too… I don’t care what others think of me. I don’t care if they agree or disagree with me. I don’t have endless opinions or fears on the choices they make either. And I don’t care if I’m accepted or rejected. (Yes, despite my equally strong drive to not blindly follow the norm, this was very much a big thing for me.) I just don’t have the energy anymore, let alone the…

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The Fear of Public Speaking and What It Really Boiled Down To

I realized recently that I don’t get scared speaking anymore. Not when I’m interviewing someone big or important, nor when I’m teaching my essential oil workshops. I used to get out of my mind scared: butterflies, tightness, heart racing, the constant urge to pee my pants (no joke), and crazy thoughts of all kind of madness that could ensue, which usually involved images of people with pitchforks. But without all those emotions and thoughts getting in the way I’ve found I actually have a strength and passion for teaching, presenting, and speaking. (If you had asked me that five years ago I would swallowed my tongue just thinking about it.) I’ve spoken to some pretty amazing people in my life, people I admire or had a mild crush on – Steven Tyler (!!), Ricki Lake, Dr. Peter Gray – all with various amounts of nerves and confidence leading up to…

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Before We Get the Opportunity To Change Anything, We First Get the Opportunity to Love It

I had a dream several years ago that I was describing to my doctor what was hurting in my body by describing the one thing that wasn’t: my toes. Then I woke up and as I went to stretch my stiff joints and aching muscles, I felt it….my freaking toes were throbbing. You have got to be kidding me. Pain has been nothing new to my experiences. Developing scoliosis at age 10, undergoing surgery at age 14 and chronic, even debilitating, degeneration of my body has since been a history I had long tolerated. But that summer, I was in almost constant pain. I was struggling to walk, losing feeling in my limbs and settling into a recognition that I was “disabled”, broken; that my current experience was my medical destiny. It’s hard not to feel resentful or depressed over something like that. I was awash in the emotional anguish…

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The Wisdom of Life’s Immoveable Objects

(This was originally shared on another lovely blog which has since been taken down. I’m reposting it here, as a reminder to myself as well.) We all have our paths to walk down in life. As we walk we experience the things we tend to experience – the valleys, the marshes, the darkness of the woods. Sometimes we travel alone. Sometimes we travel with others for a time, and then our paths diverge again. As we walk down our life’s path, we get to do some clearing along the way. The brush gets thick and we clear it, some branches have fallen and we move them to the side. But every so often on our path we come across an immoveable object, a boulder that creates such an obstacle that we can not move. A scary diagnosis. A heavy divorce. A lost job. A project that flops and leaves us…

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The Two-Fold Cure to Any Problem

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two necessary ingredients to solve any problem, to cure any woe, to heal any pain, to connect any souls. (I didn’t mean to make that sound all rhyme-y but I’m going with it.) Wanna know what they are? Time and space. Now if only it were that simple. It’s not. Finding the right kinds and amounts of each is the next step. The Right Kind of Time Time Together If it’s a relationship thing, especially a parent-child relationship, time together is always the first thing I look at. Because it’s the easiest thing to neglect. We’re busy and we mistake being around each other for being together, when the two are actually very different. Time Apart Yeah, this is the flip side to that, and it’s one we’re learning very well with a teenager. He’s ready to venture out into the world…

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There is NO Excuse for Neglecting Yourself (let me show you)

Your idea of self-care might be as simple as showering when you’ve got little ones crawling the walls. It might be as basic as drinking enough water or remembering to eat. It might be as nurturing as a massage or some quiet time to yourself. But how it looks is inconsequential to your willingness to make it happen. Yes, I can BS with the best of them and complain about all sorts of “reasons” why I’m rocking the self-neglect wagon. But at least I can smell my own BS. I know it’s all a lame justification for what’s really holding me back. And of all the things I’m nice and gentle when I talk about – honey, this isn’t one of them. So please allow me to speak the truth for a second here, especially if it means it might get you caring about yourself, finally. Excuse #1: I don’t…

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Something Only For Yourself

When was the last time you had something only for you? Not something you did because you “should” do it… Not something you love and decide to turn into a business on the side… Not something you teach… Maybe something you don’t even share with the world? I’ve got entrepreneur in my blood. I’ve never had something I wasn’t sharing with the world. So in answers to the question of whether or not I’m going to be selling or teaching art at some point in the future, first let me say…hahahahahahahahaha. As if I know what I’m doing enough to share much of anything. And second, no. In fact, I’m consciously working on nurturing this as something I don’t “share”, don’t teach, don’t sell. It’s something just for me. To feed my soul. To nurture me. It’s mine, and maybe I’ll show my process from time to time, but only…

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“They say you find yourself in your 30’s.”

I’ve been having a lot of conversations with myself lately. Not the kind I normally have; they’ve evolved into something quiet and still and full of observation without words. They come instead with color and texture and movement and breath. With messy hands and a messy kitchen. With exposed shoulders and wisps of hair. With clutter and cleaning. My hands, my feet, my heart….they all want to be moving. My husband said something that is hanging with me as maybe what is going on: “They say you find yourself in your 30’s.” And then I had to ask him how old I was, because I couldn’t recall if it was 31 or 32. But I can recall my 20’s. My years of building structures, and tearing down walls. My years of rummaging through old photo boxes I kept locked in my mind, only to find the elements had damaged most…

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Heeding the Siren and Letting Everything Go (big changes for 2014)

We are not enlightened by what we speak, but rather what speaks to us. Yet we pass truth around, instead of letting it pass through us. These were the words I wrote over a year ago, words that went ringing in my ears, setting into motion a train that’s only now pulling into station, that last sentence like the line of cars being pulled along, showing itself to me again and again. I want to try – possibly unsuccessfully – to explain how it’s changed me and what that means for this space. Be patient, please…and be gentle… —— We watch as wisdom flashes across our screen – a quote, a message, a reminder, a graphic – some ancient knowledge speaking to us, jolting us awake from our day-to-day shuffle, but we fail to let it permeate us, to sink in through muscle and bone, to the marrow of our…

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