Disconnecting to Reconnect

[P.S. My feed has changed, so visit my blog to get the new URL for Google Readers.]

Two and a half weeks of disconnection from the Big Wide World. No TV, no computer, very few video games. It was superb. Heavenly. Beautiful. (Now that my laptop is away and taking longer than anticipated to repair and it’s now a mandatory disconnection, I have a few other choice words to describe my current time offline. But I digress…)

We had such fun: reading Dickens’ A Christmas Carol every night, playing in the additional snow that fell throughout the first week, baking cookies, sledding down giant hills, laughing with friends. Oh, if only I hadn’t uploaded all my photos to the laptop right before I took it in. I have so many things to show you, so many wonderful things we did over the holiday and all that holiday cheer will be redundant to share come mid-January!

There are two things I can share that require no photos and had none to match anyway.  That would be the “reconnect” part of the title. Here’s my story:

Two Brothers for Christmas (or The Best Christmas Gifts Ever)

Did I ever mention that I have two brothers, both named John? (That’s not to mention my dad, my uncle and a cousin who share the name.) What can I say; it was a popular name in the 70′s and I’m sure my parents had a good laugh about their first-born’s names when they met and married and later shared me. (Their favorite. HA)

I’ve been closest with my sister (probably cuz she understands that “favorite” joke) but never very close with my brothers. Not for any particular reasons, other than we have little in common and never see each other. The younger John lives here in Vegas, but we haven’t talked since shortly after our dad’s death in 2007. Probate, decisions, differences of opinion, heartache, a desire to hold on to our father in different ways: it ended badly for us the last we spoke. Well, probate is ending, decisions still needed to be made and I knew our Cold War must also end.

I was skerred. I knew I was the one avoiding communication and was the one responsible for the first move and I was worried how he’d respond. So – being the chicken shit I am – I sent him a text message. It said probate was ending, and we needed to find a way to come to an agreement. His text back was amazing. It said “Ok, let’s work this out. I love you. I’ve really missed you.” I know. My brother loves me? He misses me? I never would have thunk it. I’m still smiling about it. Since that day we’ve met and talked and agreed and are working together. We’re both amiable and forgiving and compromising. It’s so…so…amazing.

Later that day, awhile after the amazing text from the younger John, I saw the oldest John. The oldest John lives in Utah with his wife and three daughters. He came down to Vegas the weekend before Christmas for a pre-holiday celebration and we went to spend the evening with the whole family. But instead I ended up outside with my brother and our mutual sister talking with him. He’s in a tough place right now. And for the first time that I can remember, he opened up to us. He poured his heart out. And he listened. My sister and I shared our hearts with him. We brainstormed solutions. We shared what worked for us. We slapped a little sense into him once and awhile. We laughed. We cried. (Well, they cried cuz they’re sissies and my tear ducts were frozen from standing outside in the cold.) We hugged. I can’t remember the last time I hugged my brother. I can’t remember the last time – if ever – we had connected, emotionally or spiritually. And there we were, doing both.

As I was driving home that night I felt my heart melt as I thought over the day. I felt like I had somehow gained two brothers in one day. I felt the miracle of both situations and the miracle of the Christmas Spirit. How it warmed me. Slowed me down. Taught me to look around and listen and hope and trust. Forced me to disconnect from what was distracting me and reconnect with what I was missing. Asked me how it was I keep forgetting that lesson. Of everything else that happened this holiday season, none of it makes as big an impact as loving two brothers in one day.

In the two and a half weeks offline, I didn’t miss my computer or my blog (okay, my blog a little). I didn’t miss the 200+ emails waiting for me or the 250+ blogs to catch up on in my Reader.

In fact, I didn’t miss a thing. I caught each and every tender moment. Every snuggle under the quilt with carols on the radio. Every smile and laugh shared between us. Every flake of snow or carefully wrapped gift. And all those warm fuzzies that let you know that despite what’s going on in the world, we can still have a happy home. We can choose it.

Happiest New Year everyone.

With all our love,
TheCrazies

P.S. Stay tuned for a really awesome revelation we uncovered over our break and some really cool stuff coming in our future!

P.S.S. Our feed has changed. Visit my blog for the new feed!