On the ever-inspiring and somewhat silly world of Twitter someone put me on a list called “creative mothers”.
I have to admit I was a little taken aback by the fact that someone viewed me as creative. To be fair, they are newly following me, so maybe they just don’t know that a couple recent tweets don’t really constitute creative genius.
But at the same time the title “creative mother” felt a bit inspiring in and of itself. As I read it a little something twanged inside my head and stated with a bit too much pride, “Why the hell not?” I may not show my creativity fully or often (or in some ways, ever) but that doesn’t mean the title still doesn’t belong to me. “Dammit, I am creative and I don’t care what anyone says!”
Look at him just run into the unknown!
This word, creativity, has been on the tip of my tongue for the past few weeks. It’s not something I’ve dedicated much deep thought or time to but it’s there, dancing around me.
And despite my inactivity on the matter, I have been feeling insanely creative. I’ve been feeling inspired to create. I can feel it bubbling. But even in those moments where I almost let it out, I routinely put it away, allowing myself to become distracted or interrupted. Motherhood, obligations, huge tasks we’re trying to accomplish. I haven’t even made time to blog!
I won’t say I haven’t enjoy it, all the time spent in frenetic activity. I’ve even enjoyed keeping some thoughts to myself, letting them play out in my mind, not writing them out for all posterity and then losing them amidst the commotion.
There’s a time for that. I think.
But there’s also a time for more. And I’m not even exactly sure what that means!
Loved watching this woman sway and dance under the water,
hands in the air without inhibitions.
I want to be creating more, not just with my words or my eyes, but with my hands. I want to get lost in the flow, where movement transcends thought and you just are: in that Moment, feeling more than thinking.
Most of my “art” has been of a practical nature. Growing things that feed me, talking of things that inspire me, exchanging philosophies or ideals that will shape my actions as a person or parent. Even my photography has turned into a documentation of my practical side.
But today as I worked on decluttering and packing our “art room”, I realized how strong a pull it was to be wildly impractical. I couldn’t bring myself to pack anything. I looked at my childhood dollhouse that I want to finish. I saw the photo frames I’ve been dying to alter. I saw our paints that have sat untouched for months. And I just knew I have to find a way to do this.
Is it the impending divergence from “normal life” that has me out on a limb? I began to feel it soon after we finished painting the interior of the RV. Clean, bright, crisp, full of possibilities and one step closer to unfettered dream chasing, and I feel we’re on the brink of soaring right off.
Weeping Rock @ Zion;
thousands of years of pent up water seeping out
I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing. I only know I’m sucking in all I can find on creativity like a vacuum and I can feel the shine of it seeping from my eyeballs and I just gotta get my hands on something, anything. Just like these words, I want to find a way to let it all spill out.
In this moment, I don’t feel like I can Be until I can Create.
Regardless of the manic tone of this post, I hitting Publish anyway. If authenticity isn’t organic, what is?
I'm Tara Wagner, life coach and creator of the 
I totally get this post. I get this way too, and have described it similarly, sounding manic in my head, not caring. I hope you get uninterrupted time to let it happen. And that you post pics of some of your projects, old or new, if it feels right to do so.
go create! follow that urge; there’s always time.
I have been feeling that same pull more and more lately. I recently started art journaling and I think it is a format that suits me well, since it can be done in short bursts with whatever time I can find, and uses a variety of media (because I am such a dabbler)and is for my eyes only so not as much pressure to do something “good,” you know? Gives me permission to just play and create.
But I really love that it is giving me an outlet for that flow of energy, a place to let it all spill out, as you say.
You might want to give it a try.
This is beautiful. Ever since leaving high school, creativity has been somewhat elusive for me. I didn’t even start writing again until recently.
The past few months my life has become so much busier and it’s NOW, with all this stuff to do, that I’m feeling inspired again. I’ve been working on knitting, on collages. Poetry has danced in my mind and I’ve even wanted to paint murals inside my home.
Its a lovely feeling to finally recapture the urge to create just for art’s sake.
Great post.
I’m getting off the computer right now to go knit. That’s right, I’m finally learning!
But yeah, all that “practical” mumbo jumbo gets in the way…A LOT. I need to quit doing that, too.
oh tara, you are so creative. just look at the way you live your life and the way you love your kid. inspiring and mind expanding to all.
i had the exact same conversation with my journal last night. really, seriously. almost verbatim. weird, huh?
good luck with your seeking
Whip up a whole bunch of paper mache and create… it helps if you have a child to assist.
@cyndi, it must be in the air eh?
I experienced a creative rebirth after Orlando was born… I started writing again, after not having written creatively for a long time. I wrote an essay-story called Mother of Sound about that experience here.
But writing is all in my head… and I tend to be and stay in my head when given the chance… Over time, I’ve sought some balance, seeking handwork (knitting, gardening, drawing, clay) and personal connection (post-partum doula-ing, nvc coaching), but nothing is really taking off. I sometimes wonder if I am just chicken or a realist in not pursuing these things more doggedly.
I love that you are so energized and inspired… think of what is coming your way, through you into the world.
Blessings,
s
I am right there with you….It is as if I had written this post!
I am very much in my head (doing a PhD) and so a lot of my creative stuff does seem to be connected to writing or communication but I have this major hankering to get my hands involved but I am floundering at where to start as it is a new world for me.
To make things tougher, we are about to leave Australia and roam for a while around the globe (no direction planned as yet) and so can’t really take much with us…so I need to be even more creative in how to make it possible.
Thanks for the inspiration
I hear ya. I was there a year ago. It IS a frantic feeling. A craving. I wonder if Saturn is also transiting your 5th House?
I feel you, completely! Manic motherhood, and life full of responsibilities and ‘can’t-wait tasks, make for hardship when the call of your muse is so strong, you would give anything, or near anything, to just grab something, and transform it into art.
It feels like it’s been years since I have been able to find the time to create anything more than a photograph, a quick digital image, or a Halloween costume for the kids. Of course, every time the muse strikes, it feels as if it’s been FAR too long, but I digress.