But we rocked it.

We stayed in Marathon, in a tiny little (slightly shabby) cottage on the beach, for only $100 a night. (Yellowtail Inn.)

We ate amazing seafood with our fingers, and laughed as the dog discovered the ocean, and drank a little too much rum, and drunk texted because how could we not.

We did a little dancing, but not nearly enough. And toured Duval St and held hands and smiled and made love.

And we realized two things:

1. We really must live by the beach one day. Preferably in the Keys. For really.
2. We really must make little adventures like this take place more often. Like monthly. Turning the computers off and setting our autoresponders on our email and creating a mini Adventure Week. Every month. Seriously. We do work for ourselves and loving the hell of our life and doing it our way is one of the perks of that. So we’re making that happen.

Justin’s favorite part: “Feeding the fish” over the side of the boat…watching a jellyfish eat his lunch really did it for him.

My favorite part: Snorkeling. And watching Justin feed the fish.

I totally thought this said Tampon Feeding.

She was working on overcoming fear and self-doubt and building a sustainable online business (because those two go hand-in-hand, in case you’re wondering) and she was asking herself, “Who am I?”

“Who am I to think I can do this? To think I have anything of value to offer the world? To think that I can make a difference in this? To think I even have the ability?”

It’s a pretty pervasive fear, one I got to move through myself.

What I talk about in this video was the realizations that I came to, and that I hope you’ll come to also.

Because the question isn’t “Who do I think I am to…”

It’s “Who do I think I am to NOT?”

P.S. If you’re coming here via the newsletter, be sure to jump back there to read the special invitation I’m offering. Not a part of the newsletter? You can be.

It really only takes one person to change the world. Are you going to let that person be you?

This is my mindmap for 2012. Well, it says it’s 2012, but actually most of this stuff is happening in the next 3 months. [insert bugged out eyes here]

(Generally mindmaps are circles pointing to new circles, but that’s way too busy-looking for my order-loving mind.)

Did I mention my intention for this year was to SHINE?

Well, my intention is a pushy one, pushing me right along at a nice little clip. I’ve got:

• My parenting e-course!
• New group coaching programs!
• A whole new website!
• Events! I have events!
• And yes, that says “Book” down there!

Last year I would’ve been totally overwhelmed by what I’m doing. It’s a lot and I had this crazy idea that I had to do it all (while simultaneously dealing with a belief that I couldn’t – super productive state-of-mind, let me tell you).

Thankfully, I have some pretty rocking tools and systems of support (like my own coach and my rockin’ Organic Support Specialist/virtual assistant, Jennie) to help me knock and then rock these things out.

So this year – while being full – isn’t freaking me out.

But it WAS bouncing around in my head way too much. So I sat down yesterday and created this little mindmap, which I love all the more because every time I look at it I see a big, gorgeous stage curtain.

It’s just a simple overview of the projects I’m working on (or having someone else work on – like a totally new web design or some new offers over on Sustainable Baby Steps).

But as simple as it is, it’s a powerful thing. It allows me to “see” what I’m thinking and to begin the process of breaking my projects down into tasks.

I used to only keep these long-ass to-do lists on my computer, but it’s not the same as a mindmap I can touch, glance at throughout my day or doodle within. It feels more like a roadmap now, something with form and guidance, instead of a long endless to-do list.

There’s still further planning I get to do – breaking those tasks down further, determining my timeline (those gets done on another piece of paper)…and then, you know, execution of it all.

But now that I can SEE it all I can rest in a little more clarity as I begin to DO it all.

Are you doing some big things in your world? Create your own mindmap and share it with me!

Did you know Justin and I run a second site together, Sustainable Baby Steps?

It’s my more practical side wrapped up in its own website.

Sustainable Baby Steps is dedicated to guiding you to live a healthy, happy, meaningful life…without overwhelming you with information, costing an arm and a leg or sacrificing what really matters: a life worth sustaining!

And we now have a free ebook we’re offering to get you started!

Click here for Strategies to Save Money (Without Sacrificing Your Health, Happiness or Values)

It’s funny; I recently remembered I set the intention to create some fun home videos over two years ago.

It makes me smile to realize yet another forgotten intention came to fruition in its own timing. Mmm…the things I used to stress over I’ve learned to trust and allow. That feels good (now to learn how to apply it to other areas).

P.S. Apparently, YouTube censored my video because of the song I used to show our videos and pictures. Ironically, it was the song “One Love” by Bob Marley…you know, the guy all for love and gratitude, instead of greed. Apparently, the record company didn’t get the memo. I wish I had time to redo it but I don’t – and I’m leaving it up because I can still watch it. But I’ve included our photos of our time below as a lame alternative to an otherwise great video.

That’s the easy “free range” stuff for me.

Watching him board a plane for his first solo flight – that makes my heart clench a little.

Lemme go back…

A few months ago Zeb was feeling a lot of homesickness. We talked and he processed and at the time we didn’t see what else to do other than empathize.

Then that night I had one of those “Duh” moments when you suddenly ask yourself why not and realize you don’t have any reason other than “I just hadn’t thought about it.”

So I asked him, “Would you like to fly back to Vegas to visit family and friends?”

There was really no reason why it wouldn’t work…we could afford a single ticket, he’s 12 for goodness sake (I was flying alone since I was 8…and that was before security was such a PITA) and he wanted it – and that’s enough to make anything a possibility.

We talked about the reasons we couldn’t all go (cost + RV storage + dog + work), what it’s like to fly alone, how the trip might be organized to see everyone and how long he’d like to stay.

3 weeks he decided would be long enough to see everyone and do everything and not be too homesick for us.

So we made it happen.

And yesterday he took off.

Okay, so I’ll admit I was excited for him just about the entire time.

But towards the end was when my heart was a little clenched and there was one point where I thought I might vomit.

I didn’t (and don’t) want to taint his trip with my own emotions about missing him. And I’m not at all worried about him or his ability to fly alone, navigate friends and family and have fun.

But there was a really weird moment when his plane was taxiing the runway and I knew his phone was shut off that the Mama Bear in me said, “WTF?! I’m going to be out of contact with him for nearly 6 hours?!”

Like I said, being away from him was something I had to get used to from the day he started moving. And we’ve spent days away from each other when he was having a sleepover-a-thon or Justin and I had our honeymoon.

But the longest distance away has only been a couple hours drive and we’ve NEVER not been able to pick up the phone and reach him in an instant.

And THAT was…well, I don’t have words for how that felt, except to say that it felt oddly like I was looking into the future.

My son is growing. He’ll be 13 this year and he’s as tall as me (and taller than his Grandma – haha!). His voice is changing and he can lift me up when we hug. And he has a girlfriend – did I mention that?

And it won’t stop there.

Soon the ratios of together and not-together will be flipped and he may be off doing his thing with his people more than he may be doing his thing with us.

And that’s EXCITING! It’s exciting to watch him make steps out into the world in a way that makes sense and feels right to him.

But it’s WEIRD too. Not weird of him, not weird of what he’ll do…but weird of how it feels to parent with such attachment and then suddenly realize that all that attachment parenting that you did (or caught up on) was really laying a foundation for him to eventually form attachments elsewhere.

It’s weird to have known but actually *realize* that it’s not about me, it’s not about my ideas or hopes, it’s not about my preconceived notions of what and when and how and why.

It’s about him.

It’s about the things that light HIM up, the things that make HIM excited, the things that HE wants.

Those really have very little to do with me.

He didn’t come into this world to be parented by me, to grow some powerful attachment to his parents and live happily ever after with us.

It was merely our job to give him those things now so that he could do what he came into this world to do. And now it’s our job – not his – to process the emotions that come with that so that he doesn’t feel responsible for the way we feel about his exploring his own life.

I guess this will be good practice for us so that I don’t act like a total spazztastic Mama Bear when the big stuff starts shifting.

P.S. Everyone (including us) is asking what we’re going to do for 3 weeks without him. We did some chatting on the way home from the airport and decided it’s going to look a little like this:

• Enjoying the big smiley pictures he’s been texting us
• Finishing up some work projects
• Eating sushi – his least favorite meal
• Spending a romantic weekend in the Florida Keys
• Sex on the couch
• And other places
• In the middle of the day
• And I think Justin is trying to figure out the whole Nekked Room thing as I type.

I’m going to try REALLY hard not to over-text Zeb, over-check his Facebook page or call him constantly. But it’s proving to be very hard so far.

Tiffani and I were sitting on the edge of my bed when I had the epiphany (I’m calling it “The Epiphany with Tiffani”.)

We were looking through my closet trying to find the perfect thing to wear during the dready photoshoot when she said something extremely obvious along the lines of “Pick something that reflects you and that you feel really good in” and I realized how much I felt “comfortable” in or “okay” in, but nothing to fit her description.

I started talking about how much of my clothing I don’t actually *love* or that doesn’t fit me well and how much I dislike to shop because I can never find what I want and love, when it hit me that I had my closet and my head so full of what I didn’t want that I had no space in either for what I did!

I know the value of creating space in my life (physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally) for the things I’m ready for. But I hadn’t applied it to the simplest of things. (Duh.)

I then proceeded to yank things off hangars and throw them on the floor, where they stayed for several days (Justin loved me for it. ) instigating me to finish the task.

And I did. I purged over 80% of my closet over the next week.

Then within 4 days I had found a handful of new things that I love and can’t wait to wear each day!

I created space and Life rushed in to fill it with the things I was ready for.

These things reflect me and highlight my favorite parts of me and make me feel radiant and comfortable at the same time. Yum.

Then last week I got a new iPhone.

I had milked my last phone until the last possible day, when it went haywire and started calling China like a curious 3 year old.

And I love my new iPhone! It’s fun and easy to use and syncs with my everything and has Siri which makes me feel like Tony Stark telling my robot what to do for me (or asking it the meaning of life – seriously, try it. Several times.)

It makes my life easier and I feel high-tech and hip and fun. I’m playing with Instagram and Hanging with Friends and getting automatic updates to my calendar.

But All This Triggered Me Too

I’m writing all this because it has me reflecting on consumption and my reasons for it.

We gave away nearly everything we owned when we hit the road and I’m suddenly finding value in “stuff”?

On top of that is my strong resonance with sustainability and eco-conscious living.

We live in a pretty consumable world and we (as a culture) love to consume.

And I’ll admit it. I loved the “high” of finding my new purple, off-the-shoulder top and tapping away on my new iPhone.

It feels good, especially to someone like me who hasn’t done a lot of shopping or consuming outside of thrift stores and farmers markets, based on the principle of it.

And so I can understand why it can feel so easy to fill a void with the superficial, the “stuff” in life.

Because it’s not the “stuff” we’re after – it’s the feeling it might offer us that we’re hungry for.

Maybe it’s a sense of newness, a clean state, a change that doesn’t actually scare us.

Maybe it’s the idea of deserving, of self-worth, of “I earned this”.

Maybe it’s the connection we experience when we fit in with our crowd, know what they are talking about and can share our experience of the same.

Maybe it’s the beauty and the inspiration from filling our homes or our closets with the things that make us smile, feel comfortable and radiant or offer us less stress or more time.

It’s easy to mistake what we’re really after with the means to get it.

It’s easier to get caught up in the “retail therapy” to make us feel good again than it is to actually DIG IN to those uncomfortable feelings that keep us from feeling good all the time and address them once and for all.

It’s also easy to demonize the “stuff”, to point fingers at consumers, to make ourselves or our kids go without for fear of creating waste or feeling (or fearing we look) shallow or conventional.

One way or another, it’s easier to get caught up in the surface, the superficial, than it is to look beneath the surface of our experiences to the real human experience happening within each one of us.

I’m finding it more and more true that the real solution is to notice when the “stuff” is suddenly a tragic attempt to access that joy we all so desperately need to experience, or whether it’s an external reflection of an internal joy we’ve already found.

As I reflect on all this – on my own consumption, my own guilt and concern in contrast to the positive feelings I’m experiencing as a part of this new “stuff” – I am noticing that the happier and more grounded I feel internally, the more I want my external environment to reflect that.

I want to paint my walls and wear rich and vibrant colors and take gorgeous photos faster and organize my life better to reflect what I know as Truth – that the world is beautiful, colorful, inspirational and enjoyable and I want to get back to the act of living it to its fullest potential.

When I keep my focus on the external being a mere reflection of the internal I find my consumer choices are more conscious and simple and eco-friendly, anyway. I choose things that will last, I care for them better and I make sure they are just right for me so that I have no regrets. Because that’s my internal experience as well – full of love, care, mindfulness and value.

If I had to summarize all these reflections I think my point would be this:

Love what you do. Love Who You Are. Let go of the fear and move into Truth. Live your life from the inside out. Find value in yourself and your life, and reflect that in all you do. Reflect outside yourself the Truth you experience in your heart. Allow every choice to count. And INSPIRE the world to something greater, starting with you.

It’s this gorgeous website offered by this beautiful woman, Jenn Gibson, to help you create connection, joy and solidarity in your life.

I’m part of her Winter Tribe, offering bits of Organic Wisdom every other week. And it dawned on me that I hadn’t shared those links with you!

Post #1: One Last Tea Party With Fear

Post #2: 8 Strategies to Fill Your Cup, Even When You “Don’t Have Enough Time”

There’s four more posts to come before spring!

Jenn has also been my coaching client for the last several months, meaning I’ve had the honor to know her, her vision and her heart and soul deeply and intimately, and let me just say, Wow! Jenn is doing some beautiful things in her world and to watch her and support her has been incredible and inspiring and seriously…fun!

Here’s a peak into what our work together has looked like:

Be sure to check out and subscribe to Roots of She to see all the awesome stuff she’s creating over there!

I assumed when I cut my dreads I would still have to let them go afterward. I pictured myself spending time reflecting on them as I burned them or buried them. I pictured it being ceremonious and personal and meaningful.

Yup, not so much.

From the moment I turned around from checking out my bald head in the reflection of the truck’s window and saw my pile of dreads laying on the ground, I’ve had no attachment to them.

They felt so distant, like looking at a relic of my past…once a part of me, now just a detail in my story.

Maybe it’s because it wasn’t the dreads that I had so much gratitude for, but the experience of them.

Or maybe once I do take the next step it’s when I feel ready to truly let go of the last.

Or maybe cutting them off cut that tie to the heavy energy they were carrying for me.

I don’t know.

All I know is that my dreads have been wrapped up in one of my favorite white scarves and I’d like my scarf back now!

We spent last week camping with such gorgeous, soulful, conscious friends and I thought maybe it’d be meaningful (and in good company) to release them then, around the fire or in the lake.

So I grabbed a couple and threw them in the water and laughed at the idea of someone’s dog finding them.

Then I grabbed a small handful of my dreadlocks to burn in the fire.

(I thought about burning them all, but wasn’t sure just how much hair smelled when being burned, so I opted against stinking everyone out just yet.)

And there I stood.

Standing under the full moon, twisting five dreads around each other and waiting in front of the heat of the flames, waiting for some sense of ceremony or rush of emotion or depth of experience to come to me.

And it didn’t.

So I smiled and gave my heart a hug for its powerful ability to release without doubt or second-guessing or need for fanfare and I tossed them in and watched them sizzle and burn (and yes, human hair smells badly when burned).

I had 40 dreads to begin with.

Two went to a soul sister, two to the lake and five to the fire. 31 are still occupying one of my favorite scarves and waiting to be sent off.

I’ve been thinking how I’d like to finally release the rest and the fire still calls to me. But maybe this time I’ll go it alone and see if they have any last words of wisdom to whisper to me in the stillness. And maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll just get on with the freedom and laughter I’ve been enjoying instead.

Want to read more about my process from dreadlocks to a shaved head?

All dreadlock posts from start to finish are here.

Part One: My announcement video of my decision to shave my dreads

Part Two: A more in-depth, emotional and raw video on my decision

Part Three: Putting The Process of Shaving Them into Words (and lots of photos)

Part Four: A GORGEOUS Video and words from other women who’ve done the same

You give so much to your kids, your partner, your work, and probably way too many other people and things in your life as well.

You work your ass off to feed the bodies and the souls of those you love, to fill their spiritual cups with love, engagement and support.

But you’re gonna hit burnout soon (or maybe you’re there already) if you don’t understand one thing:

You can’t give what you don’t have.

Picture it like this: All the people and things in your life are standing before you with an empty cup and asking you to fill them up.

But your cup is empty. Too many long days, not enough replenishing of your own spiritual cup and you have nothing to pour into their lives. (Then enters in your own guilt and overwhelm and frustration, adding to your exhaustion.)

Honey, you have to take care of you, too.

It’s absolutely imperative that you make space in your life for your own well-being, your own support system, and the tools that will help you out of “survival mode” and into a way of life that allows you (all!) to THRIVE.

It’s imperative you let your own cup be filled.

It’s time to get so filled up with the things YOU need to thrive that you naturally overflow your love and vibrancy into the lives of those you love.

Yes, I’m talking about the Organic Tribe.

I’ve been offering an introductory price to the Tribe for the first few months, but I can’t keep doing that forever.

On Thursday the monthly cost of the Tribe is going up to it’s full price of $39.97 for new subscribers.

But all those who are on the Tribe by Thursday… they’ll always pay $19.97!

Think about it…

How do you normally spend $20 a month trying to fill your cup?

And what else could you possibly spend $20 a month on that would offer you so much emotional and spiritual support, connect you to your own Tribe, give you special offers (not seen by anyone else), as well as opportunities to get free one-on-one coaching, AND grant you LIFETIME ACCESS to the Organic Sisterhood forums – where you can connect personally with other like-minded women for support, encouragement, tips, inspiration, and more?

“Life has been so good for me recently and…I know that you, the Tribe, and the sisterhood have been a huge part of that.” – Susan

And what could you DO with that kind of soul-nourishing, cup-filling, motivating and inspiring coaching and connections in your life?

Click here if you’re ready to fill YOUR cup!