Life at the Current Moment

Full Moon Rising over Las Vegas, originally uploaded by OrganicSister.

I’m feeling much better these last few days. Perhaps in verbalizing what I was before internalizing (or denying), I’ve just given myself permission to be less than perfect. Which in turn takes off a whole lot of pressure.

Making that list about me – the things I know I like, things I know I am – helped me see a lot too. Like, for instance, that most of what I feel makes me Who I Am is seriously lacking from my life. Like much of what surrounds me does not edify me.

So I’m trying to change that. I joined a local photography network and met with the group during the full moon (hence the photo above and more on Flickr). I learned so much from them and just felt so fulfilled and uplifted. Kind of like “Finally! I’m on the right track!” Just that simple act of feeding my soul has abated my previous agitation. Who knew standing in the rocky dirt and fumbling through buttons could make me feel so good?

I still am not where I want to be emotionally. But I’m trying to take it one day at a time, one emotion at a time and I’m working on instantly forgiving my own mistakes.

And of course, when Mama works on her own issues, everyone else miraculously feels better too. Sometimes I really wish I wasn’t so responsible for the harmony (or lack thereof) in the house. I wish I could have a bad moment or day and someone else could pick up the slack a bit until I feel better.

I’ve started rereading 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting by Mimi Doe. This book is a great reminder of how to reConnect. I love it. It has been over a year since I last read it but I seem to forget so easily that which I desperately need to remember. It’s is just so simple to disconnect and get wrapped up in all the meaningless details in our lives.

I don’t want to do that anymore. When I ask myself Who I Am, I see an image that resonates with me. I want to hold that image in my mind. I don’t want to disconnect from it and get wrapped back up in the meaningless. I’m not the meaningless. Neither is my life. I’m a Co-Creator and I want to remember that more often.