There is family. And then there are friends who feel like family. And while nothing can replace family, nothing can compare to such good friends. Such good friends, in fact, it takes a full four times to say goodbye.
Saying goodbye to the Life Learners just plain sucked. We’ve been with our local unschooling group for three years and although it’s members have come and gone, it’s still our place of refuge. Our entire week revolves around Wednesday when we pack our things and spend half our day at the park. What may look like play or relaxation is really so much more. It’s our community.
Multi-age, dual-gender, parents invited Life Learner sleepover.
For Zeb, it’s a menagerie of friends from toddling babes to teenagers. It’s a safe place to be goofy, express a new interest or play with a 4 year old without fear of judgment. It’s his opportunity to try on new “hats” within the embrace of people who will still accept him after a bad day or bad choice. Over the years the Life Learners have given him the liberty to deschool on his own terms, to dye his hair blue, to shun the group and come back again. They’ve introduced him to multi-aged dynamics and authentic interactions with both genders, as well as new favorite games and interests. My heart warms when I see that he’s touched their lives as much as they’ve touched his.
Big hugs for smaller friends.
For me, the Life Learners have been my world. I remember my own trepidation in joining, still feeling unsure about my place in it all. We arrived at the park and were welcomed with open arms. I sat quietly taking it all in: the happy kids opening their tribe to Zeb, the tender interactions between child and adult, and possibly most importantly, the community the parents had made with each other. I had never seen anything like it and it was such an inspiration. Fast forward three years, and even as the group moderator, I still rely on them for my weekly dose of recharge. Being around parents all striving for what we strive for ourselves – a better way to do things, a respectful relationship built on trust, a fun and joyful life experience – it changes your life. I can’t imagine parenting without such a community anymore.
It’s always a beautiful day with friends.
Validation, love, laughter, good conversation…and especially acceptance. The feeling of complete and loving acceptance. It’s unlike anything else. Only by being accepted for Who You Are in this exact moment can you be inspired to want to grow or learn. The Life Learners gave us that. A safe place to Be as we Become.
Just some of the Life Learners we are blessed to call friends.
As we were leaving our last park day today I insisted I wasn’t going to cry. But just as I turned my back I changed my mind. It’s hard to let go of such a safe place and such beautiful people. Zeb and I drove home hand-in-hand with breaking hearts as we talked about our favorite Life Learner memories, each one of our beloved friends and how great it would be if they would just travel with us.
My name is Tara. I am a mama and a lover, a full-time nomad, a passionate devourer of Life and an Organic Life Coach.
That brought tears to my eyes. It’s gotta be REAL tough to say goodbye to such a supportive tribe.
We don’t have anything like that where we are, and will probably never know this wonderfulness, so I share my sadness with you in a different way.
Having had it and then giving it up can’t be easy.
But you will always have the experience… you will be forever changed because of your time together. So you will be taking them on the road with you, in a matter of speaking.
I completely echo what Mon said – I would love to find a community like this so much, and can’t imagine therefore how hard and sad it must be to have found it and now be giving it up. Still, although you go, they are still there, and with the various means of communication today, there are ways and means to keep in touch, as well as the possibility of returning and reuniting or meeting at other times and in other places – more au revoir than good-bye I guess.
What a beautiful network of friends that you have! Remember that they are just a phone call away. *hugs*
this morning my heart rejoices that you and Zeb have had this in your life and mourns at your loss of it now
and my heart always says “I want that too!” – not sure how to create/invite such a group – but feel the calling to do so – thanks for the inspiration!
WAAAAAAAAH! I can relate, as you know. I know I am not part of the specific group you had to say goodbye to there, but it makes me feels so good to know I had a part in creating that group for you. I already miss “my” lifelearners and now you have made me miss them even more.
That said, the fact that your travels will bring you back to me, well, that makes me very happy. 
Wow, that’s really an amazing story. Experiences and communities like that are definitely hard to come by and I think it’s wonderful Zeb (and you) had that in his life when he did… I still remember my younger years and some of my most fond experiences… I’m sure if I had been apart of something like that, I would be constantly reminiscing about it like I do the little things in my life that made/make me smile.
Last night it dawned on me that I often complained about the lack of community found in Las Vegas without fully realizing the amazing community we created.
@Deb, It can be a hunt to find that tribe but it’s a worthwhile hunt. “If you build it they will come” right?
@Miranda, you will always be part of the Life Learners.
I kept remembering what you said before you left about people coming as others go…”nature abhors a vacuum”…funny that as I leave two dready mamas joined the group. I’m bummed to see so many new families that I won’t get to know as well as the old.
All that said, I know I’ll see them again. There’s always Facebook. HA!
You better check your little trailer for stowaways before you leave!!
how wonderful you have had that community. we’ve not found anything here, no matter how many ‘events’ or ‘groups’ or ‘clubs’ or ‘outings’ we’ve signed up for. i wouldn’t miss a single person if we packed up and moved. and now you can go and create little communities all over the country as you journey – places you always will have to return too, full of friends! lovely!
I’m sorry that you’ve lost your group! I can’t imagine our Tuesdays without our homeschooling group… (and a big sleepover sounds like a COOL idea!)
Good luck in your new digs.
i connected to your blog through sara at walkslowlylivewildly and have found reading your posts amazing. i, too, have a highly sensitive child (‘raising your spirited child’ is all worn from reading so many times over the years), my old precious soul of a 9 year old son. we, too, homeschool, always have, and live by life learning (actually reading here has inspired a move toward even more unschooling days). we also are embarking on some big changes to simplify life, buy an rv, leave suburbia for some wide open space, etc. so i am so glad i found you.
this kind of community is so nurturing to the soul, and i am sure you will miss them lots, we have had to say goodbye to friends like this, and rebuild time and time again. but, the best part about this kind of tribe is that you will have them as friends forever, wherever your path may lead. you can be reunited, stay in touch, meet up in new places, etc. and, it seems this online community you have created could help give you a community on the road. we sure would love to have you join us at one of our park days if you ever make it to south florida.
We left our tribe about a year ago, and moved nine hours south to coastal Georgia. I echo what you say about needing more time to say goodbye, it’s so true! I look forward to reading about your new adventures! Be well…
You described it perfectly. It explains my addiction and how I can’t wait to get back to it every time I go away.
While I feel your pain and know you will miss them, think of this adventure as a way to expand your tribe. In your travels you will have the opportunity to meet many more unschooling families that will become part of your tribe. Then, you will have that support wherever your travels take you.
If you ever make it to the east coast, look us up. We would love to hang with you all
It is a heartbreaking thing to leave. It made my move to Colorado so hard missing the group. It is hard to describe to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. It is such a beautiful, peaceful feeling hanging out at LL