I almost didn’t share this video.
I had made it quickly because it started pouring out of me and my audio and video wouldn’t sync.
But that’s not why I almost didn’t share it.
I almost didn’t share it because my entire life I’ve been shamed for my body type, taught to feel less than other women or self-conscious or care too deeply about what others thought of my body.
Taught to be wary of going to the bathroom too soon after I ate because someone would derisively accuse me of being bulemic.
Taught to wear nothing above the knees out of fear that someone would comment on my thin legs.
So after this video came pouring out of me, I began to waver.
“Maybe I shouldn’t.”
“Maybe I’ll offend someone.”
“Who am I to talk about body image?”
It took a sweet woman speaking up a couple days ago on this very issue that reminded me that I’m accepting that Body Shame we’ve all been taught.
And you know what I say to shame?
Fuck that.
So here it is: My Truth on “real women” and the lives we are taught to believe and that we continue to live out, even when we think we’re not.
Here’s to real women everywhere:
The ones who love with all their heart…
And look shame and fear in the face and give it the finger.
Who look in the mirror and stand in awe of the beauty that shines within them…
And takes that light into the world and lights up the darkness.
The women who sees beauty in all women, even the ones who are lost or in pain or are blind to beauty themselves.
The women hold hands not grudges.
Who can lift up another without feeling put down.
Who share Wisdom and Truth, instead of rumors and lies.
The women who can be vulnerable and strong at the same time.
And who fiercely protect that vulnerable strength in others.
We are all real women.
Regardless of size or shape or color or background or beliefs…
Regardless of whether we’re in touch with our own inner Self or not.
Regardless of whether we’re in our own power or in our own pain.
We’re all real women making our way through the same messy world, doing the best we can with the tools we have, learning and growing.
And when we see that, when we step into our own strength, and we empower others to step into theirs…
That’s when the world will change.
My name is Tara. I am a mama and a lover, a full-time nomad, a passionate devourer of Life and an Organic Life Coach.
I LOVE this video. This is amazing, and so needed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
♥
Stunning, inspiring and thoughtful. A truly important message I have been sharing for the past few years. So glad you took the time and had the courage to share your true authentic voice on this. <3
LOVED it. As someone who regularly judges themselves because of their weight, this is definitely something I need to listen to. It’s hard to shift that focus for me for some reason, after almost my whole lifetime of judging myself and learning to judge others. Thanks for this entry.
I don’t understand why you thought the comment made about the painting was about or directed towards you? You lost me after your first sentence. Is there a missing piece in what triggered you to make this video?
Oh it was in no way shape or form directed at me or about me. The missing piece, the reason this was triggered in me, was what I wrote before the video and within the video. Growing up being told I was “too thin” for everyone else’s liking is just as harmful to a person as hearing they are “too fat”. It teaches us to take our focus off our Self, our Light, our contribution to the world and put it on our body.
thanks for this…now to implement it in my own life. it can be so extremely challenging to not judge yourself…i am my own critic…sadly i have the body image of being HUGE…and try hard to concentrate on the happy and healthy part of me!!! i appreciate the message you are sending and the passion in your voice is REAL!
I fully believe in your message, I do. Our beauty is not based on how we look, by any means, and changing our weight (and nothing else) will still leave us with our same inner selves. But as a woman who was overweight for seven years and currently coaches others on weight loss, I can tell you that being severely overweight is a symptom of a deeper problem. We are somehow achieving satisfaction from food and missing it in other areas of our lives.
For me, losing weight is what kickstarted every other major change in my life. It took the outward to help me realize my strength, my potential, my beauty if you will. It empowered me. Losing weight led me to take control of other areas — namely my thoughts and beliefs that affected my actions in regards to parenting, loving others, giving, work, spirituality, etc.
So while I definitely do not think our weight should define us, neither do I think we should skirt around the issue of the consequences (physical, mental and emotional) of being severely overweight. I wish so very much that somebody close to me, who loved me, talked to me about my weight with the perspective that being severely overweight is a sign that you do not love and value your beautiful self. I had so much self-loathing, not merely because of my outward appearance, but because I did not believe I had the power to change it or any other thing I didn’t want in my life. I felt helpless and hopeless. Losing weight was a process that involved changing my body and my mind, and it literally changed my life.
What I like about your speaking up on this subject is that yours is the side that isn’t allowed to talk about body issues. Thin women aren’t supposed to have body anxiety in our society – you’ve got the body type everyone wants. Except, it’s not that simple and the issues of body shame cross all sizes and shapes, as you point out. Good for you for moving past your fear and saying, enough. We’re all real, all beautiful, all worthy.
I didn’t know I needed to hear this this morning, but I guess I did. Thanks!
Love your videos Tara..you are so real!!
Love your honesty and ability to communicate. Thanks so much!
[...] ♥ Real Women and the Lives We Live [...]