Then I spent the last year growing my business and a multitude of reasons shifted my ideas. I’ve now had blog comments turned off on all posts for about 5 months.

Until today when I turned them back on.

I’m going to speak in this post both as a blogger, a reader and an authentic business owner on my experience and experimentation.

Yes. It’s called “fear”.

The Blog Comment Debate Will Vary

Bloggers will adamantly (and sometimes rudely) insist that to have a blog means you “should” have comments allowed, that those comments should go live instantly so no one has to be “approved” (after perhaps a captcha feature to prevent spam) and that every self-respecting blogger should moderate and answer each and every comment themselves.

This leaves other bloggers – the ones who feel drained or uncertain or pulled – by comments feeling as though they are obligated by some unwritten Blog Code of Conduct to overextend themselves, to make others happy, to be accused of “censorship” (really people?) and maybe even give up their blog because it’s become something they didn’t intend – an outlet for others instead of an outlet for themselves.

Business owners with blogs will often (and sometimes rudely) insist that comments are a waste of time, rarely add anything of value to the conversation, are a breeding ground for trolls, and that no self-respecting business owner would waste their energy on it.

This leaves new, growing and even established entrepreneurs that are still building their traffic to feel as though they are cutting off a means of connection and growth, to question whether they are playing small, and to start thinking more about the marketing rules than their personal style and doubt their own intuition.

After doing it both ways (and even advising each way), here’s what I’ve found:

Opinions are like butt cracks. Everyone has one and is sure their own doesn’t stink.

But “rules” suck.

There is no right or wrong way.

There is only your needs, and your personal experiences, and what works for you.

Judgment, snark and self-righteousness need not apply.

This is my personal experience, why I’ve turned blog comments off and why I’m turning them back on. Your personal milage will vary.

Why I Turned Comments Off

• Time Management: The more my coaching business expanded the more I needed to find ways to balance my time between work, self and family. That meant finding the things that allowed me to spend less time online and more time on the things that made the biggest impact on my life and the life of others.
• Reactions vs Reflections: I love reflective comments, questions, conversations…especially the ones where we’re not afraid to ask the questions that may not have a simple answer or that may stretch us. But reactive comments (and I’m specifically talking about the judgmental, snarky, self-righteous ones) aren’t serving anyone (except maybe giving that person a space to vent their own triggers). It’s not my job to answer every rude person; it’s not my job to filter trolls; it’s not my job to host negativity in my (online) home; it’s not my job to spend my energy on energy vampires. It’s my job to connect on a deep level with the people whom I may be able to support, not the ones who just want to argue.
• Simplifying: With comments spread between several social media sites, the forums, and email my work time was getting overwhelming. I needed to simplify where it was possible, and blog comments were one of those places.
• Deepening Connections: A funny thing happened when I turned off comments. I got more of the most incredible, beautiful emails…deep, authentic, powerful emails for women sharing their Aha moments and thoughts and stories of the amazing things they are doing in the world. Maybe without that immediate ability to leave a simple (public) comment others could sit with their own thoughts longer and therefore share more? Maybe when a personal email was the primary means of connecting it created a safer space to really connect. I don’t know, but it was awesome.
• Writing For Me, Not Stats: I found myself writing with what others might say in the comments (or how many comments I might get), instead of writing from my heart and soul. And that’s bullshit. I’m glad I turned my comments off for the last many months to allow me to get back to writing for myself: releasing the fear of making waves (or making friends) and pouring my real heart and soul into my words without worrying about how popular any of it is. I needed to remember that I’m not going for popularity. I’m going for resonance. And turning off comments helped me get back there.

Why I’m Turning Comments Back On

• Central Hub: It’s not totally central. Comments will still be found on Twitter and Facebook, but at least with the blog there is a somewhat more central hub for sharing reflections and thoughts, and deepening a conversation between more of us. After all, it’s about Tribes and those connections are part of it.
• I Miss The Convo: If there is no immediate place to comment many readers won’t email or comment elsewhere. And I’m missing those connections and the wonderful things such thoughtful comments would inspire in me, or the Wisdom they could share (or the ways they could say it) that add so much more than my words alone.
• Simplifying: Don’t you love how this is in both lists? I can do that because their my lists. Comments make it simple and quick to share in that convo. It may not simplify my job, but it simplifies the process of connecting.
• Readers Miss the Convo: I hear you. Being able to write out your reflections is often more powerful than just thinking to yourself. Reading something impactful and beneficial without the simple ability to join the convo sometimes means less time to really absorb before we click off to our busy days. I’m glad to be in the space to open up comments for those who miss them.
• Making Connections: Knowing the other names, faces and messages of the people reading opens my life up to more ideas, more connections, more possibilities. Those things I love. I’ve missed those connections over the past several months.
• Better Time Management Now: When I turned the comments off my plate was freaking FULL and I was working out kinks in my rhythm and systems of support. Now that I have better rhythms, more systems and the wonderful Jennie as my Organic Support Specialist to help me with many admin tasks, including moderating for trolls, I can still focus on my most important tasks: my personal care, my family and personal life, my clients, my creative work within my businesses and connecting with real women sharing real Wisdom with real heart and soul.
• Resonance over Reputation: Like I mentioned above, I was writing for comments, and not for me. This isn’t an uncommon reason to turn comments off, although on the inverse: the fear of “too few comments” and how that looks to others. Fear of what others think has held a pretty prominent place in my past (meaning it still pokes it’s head in from time to time), but it’s the fear of my inner Little Girl. And even though I don’t quite feel grownup yet (when does one finally feel like a Grown Up?), me and that Little Girl feel pretty damn comfortable with the fact that that fear is no longer serving our own greatest good or the world. Zero comments don’t freak me out. They don’t make nervous someone will judge me. And what others do in their busy lives is only a reflection of me when I’m making it all about me. My job isn’t to put thoughts into someone else’s mind. It’s to share the intention and thoughts in mine.

Like I said, there is NO “right” way. There is only your personal needs as a blogger or entrepreneur and how you might meet those needs. Yes, your readers have needs too, but your own needs come first (think: oxygen mask).

So my advice: Experiment. Evolve. Do what works for you. Maintain the right to change your mind. Keep authenticity and self-care as your touchstones. Examine your fears and ideas of “should” or “have to”. Then release them.

Do you have comments on or off on your blog? How is (or isn’t) that right for you?

It’s been months in the brainstorming and almost months in the making, but it’s heeeeeere!

New colors, new photos, new pages, new organization…almost new EVERYTHING!

If you’re reading this in an RSS feed, click here to see my gorgeous thriving tree on the homepage.

If you’re on the blog, click that same link to see the new homepage!

Please poke around…and let me know what you think on Facebook or Twitter!

(I still have tweaks to make and a few banners and badges I’m waiting on, so some things might seem bare or mismatched – because they are. )

Meet My Designer

Big, giant THANK YOU to the wonderful Courtney Kirkland who did this design.

I had NO IDEA what I wanted when I found her, other than a handful of words to match my brand (me being a word nerd and all), she helped me start from scratch in fleshing out an idea and a framework that she then created.

The first time I saw what she created I literally GASPED. And I still smile each time I see it. ♥ Thankyouthankyouthankyou, Courtney!

Love notes from Zeb on the window where I work…totally feed my soul. ♥

I’ve made some very important changes in my life and work recently, with more on the way.

Actually, they don’t seem all that serious after having made them. But before I made them they were scary and paralyzing and So! Freaking! Life-Threatening!

(That would be those funny beliefs of mine talking.)

Yes, I spent some timing Digging Deep with them (thank you for that, public accountability), peeling back the layers, clearing and healing as I went.

But let me go back a bit…

You see, it started when I realized that I was actually being ridiculously UNproductive.

I have a very full and beautiful life with a full-time coaching practice, a green living website, an amazing family that I thoroughly enjoy spending as much time as possible with and a life of travel.

We do a lot, yo!

But when I looked at my days I was seeing that I spent so much time on things that were NOT productive to my two main purposes in life: feeding my soul and helping others.

I would rationalize with myself that checking emails is important. And of course it is!

But 9874938562 times a day?

I would rationalize that Facebook and Twitter are important to my business. And of course they are!

But do I need to spend several hours a day there?

I would rationalize that fine-tuning and tweaking a project or blog post until it’s “just perfect” was important.

Um, no it isn’t.

I would rationalize that if I just got “these couple things off my to-do list” then I could focus on my next Big, Beautiful Project.

Biggest. Bullshit. Ever.

Wakeup call! I knew that last one wasn’t true!

I know that little things will always be there and putting off the big things for some “ideal” time or for when things are a little less busy or for when I could just take a couple things off my plate is NEVER going to work!

It’s just an excuse, a bad reason to allow the symptoms, distraction and lack of clarity, to be “reasons”.

So I got to ask myself…why?

Why do I spend time on the things that are not actually serving anyone? Why am I choosing to do my second-best, instead of throw myself into my personal best? Why am I fretting over the minute details instead of wholeheartedly moving in the direction my heart is pulling me?

Why am I choosing “productive” over actually PRODUCING?

How is that even productive?

And So I Sat

At this point I was feeling that uncomfortable feeling in my body…where I start tapping my foot or shivering as my subconscious mind says “It’s time to run away from here!” and my body responds with any erratic movement it’s got.

This is ALWAYS my sign that I’m onto something good, something my mind and heart might be afraid to let go.

And fear is always a sign of a lie. (When I’m in Truth, I have no fear.)

So I sat with it in meditation.

I leaned into it, still focusing on my breath and brought the whole feeling and all the thoughts about it in front of my closed eyes.

And I allowed myself to sink in and hold that space.

And I breathed.

And tried not to run away.

There were parts I resisted, that felt too much to bring my awareness to, so I gave them my love and turned back to my breath, opening myself to hearing my own Organic Wisdom.

Then I heard it, in the form of the question Goddess Leonie had heard right before she cut her long mermaid hair…

What would I do if I felt free?

“Free of what?” I asked

“Free of fear, of “shoulds” (oh that dirty, dirty word), of the things I assume about what others will think.”

(Oh you again.)

And then another question…

What would I do if my only priority were feeding my soul and then feeding the souls of others?

And I heard my heart whisper very clearly a litany of things she was ready to shift or release or bring into alignment with what actually feeds my soul…

And almost all of them had to do with the internet. (Go fig.)

I would make the choice to check emails only once or twice in a workday.
And not on the weekends.
I would make the choice to close the Facebook and Twitter tabs on my browser.
I would turn off the notifications on my phone and make off-work hours, disruption-free.
I would choose to call a friend for a long chat instead of send an email.
I would close comments on my blog so that I could write with my heart and not with my ear to the response.
I would conduct the Organic Tribe in a way that feels so congruent with Who I Am and not what is “professional”. (Pffffft.)
I would lean deeper into my own healing gifts and bring those into my coaching sessions with total Trust that my intuition and theirs will always guide us.
I would stop putting limitations on what I can do and just move toward what feels right.

And most importantly, I would ask myself:

Is this:

1. Feeding my soul,
2. Feeding my greater vision and purpose in this world, or
3. Feeding the souls of others?

And truly what I found is that when I can answer yes to the first one, I can answer yes to all of them. ♥

It’s taken some practice.

It’s triggered some fear (in me and in others).

I still have layers to DIG IN to and peel away to fully heal why I hold back so often.

But everytime I feel myself allowing distractions to keep me off-task or excuses to keep me from completion or fear keeping me from total passion and love, I’m guiding myself gently back to my Truth with reminders of that question…

Is this:

1. Feeding my soul,
2. feeding my greater vision and purpose in this world or
3. feeding the souls of others?

And then I make the simple choice to move back to what says “Yes” to that question.

It’s as simple (and as challenging) as that.

I can feel it already. 2010 changed my life. But 2011 is going to rock my world.

Two words have begun to hang over my head: Abundance and Gratitude. And I can feel them both churning and stirring up the mental dust.

In preparation for the mind-altering, life-inspiring, beautiful madness to commence, I’m starting the New Year with a new viewpoint.

I hereby give myself full, unapologetic permission to….

1. Only take and keep the photos I love.
2. Feel shy or walk away.
3. Slow the hell down.
4. Love me how no one else can.
5. Be selfish with my self-care.
6. Surround myself with inspiration and beauty.
7. Say goodbye to my wedding dress.
8. Say hello to clothes that make me feel amazing.
9. Have a piece of life that belongs only to me.
10. Fearlessly live up to my full potential.
11. Take an entire month off from blogging.

Yes, an entire month. January, actually.

It will mark my longest hiatus from blogging since I started almost four years ago. It will be strange and probably disjointed for me. And I’m looking forward to it.

It comes with a reason, of course. We have less than five weeks to wrap up our business here in Las Vegas, purchase and prepare a new rig and hit the road again by February 1st. We will be slammed with things to do and people to see and moments to relish while we can.

But that’s not all, because my time off from blogging is not really time away from my blog at all.

Coinciding with the relaunch of our travels, The Organic Sister will be “relaunching” in February!

I’m going to be spending the month revamping this little space of mine, adding some new awesomeness,  and aligning every part of it with what feels true and authentic and beautiful to me.

I can’t wait to show you what’s in my head!

In the meantime, you can continue to connect with me on Facebook (here or here), Twitter or by email. And I’m still available for coaching and other services.

Until next time, I’ll leave you with some things to think about…

What are you giving yourself permission for?
What will you be creating in the New Year?
And are you living according to your own organic nature?

All Before and After shots here

It’s still a little stark, but I’m seeing it as a wide open canvas, to be filled with memories along the way. I’m thinking of embroidering the shower curtain and front window curtains, hanging photos and finding unique items to decorate the walls all while on the road.

Interior:

• Removed vinyl wallpaper from ceiling
• Refinished ceiling
• Replaced broken paneling on walls
• Cleaned more smoke residue off the walls than I thought possible
• Removed old carpet
• Removed microwave
• Built doors for cupboard where microwave was
• Painted bright white to open space
• Painted and hung new curtain rods (made from dowels)
• Replaced vinyl shower walls with panels
• Replaced peeling countertops and tabletop
• Installed secondhand flooring
• Replaced vinyl backing on seats
• Sewed new seat cushion covers
• Hung new curtains
• Shampooed carpets and seats in front cab
• Deep, deep, deep cleaning

Body/Engine/Technical:

• New blackwater tank
• Resealed the roof
• Resealed and repaired drafts
• New tires
• Numerous engine leaks fixed
• New shocks
• New power steering pump
• Glow plugs
• Tuneup
• New deep cycle batteries
• Two 80 watt solar panels (will supply all electrical needs)
• Lots of small misc things

Things soon to be added:

• Rocket stove
• Water filter
• Hand-cranked blender
• Waste veggie oil conversion
• Our things! (clothing, pillows, blankets, games, etc)

We’re hoping to be in my mid- to late-February, with a few more weeks to adjust to the smaller spaces before we hit the road.

My favorite thing (other than the whole get-outta-dodge aspect)?

Our new home blessing hung over the door:

With our tiny RV and everyone we’re hoping to meet on the road,
I don’t think this will be a problem.

And because it just didn’t feel right not to, I updated my blog layout and header to reflect our new transition. If you’re in a Reader, be sure to come check it out!

Erin’s post reminded me that I had never posted our own version of the same.

Many months ago, when I had made a brief mention on the blog of a project Zeb was working on then mentioned that fact to him, he was not so happy. That little tidbit suddenly thrust before his eyes the reality that lots of people read about him. People he doesn’t know. And that makes him very uncomfortable.

So, he asked me to not blog about him.

It’s a difficult situation, whether you’re talking about your child or your friend. Those of us that find something (connection, communication, an outlet – creative or emotional or both – or more) in blogging, blog from our own perspective. We delve into our experiences and emotions and thoughts with our own level of comfortable abandon. And everything within that perspective feels personal.

But the feeling is deceiving. Blogging isn’t personal because my life isn’t personal. It’s shared with an amazing husband and son with thoughts, emotions or perspectives of their own. What I may want to share from my own point-of-view may will look different from theirs. And if those two perspectives conflict (on the experience of the blogging of it), it’s obviously a problem.

NOT a picture of Zeb. Just my cold feet by my fake fire
getting ready to crochet a blankie for my sis.

I suppose it’s a bit of a double standard. I wouldn’t dream of blogging about a personal experience with a friend, but I so quickly forget my home life is not just my own. It belongs to them, too. So, while this is “my” blog, it also belongs to them in the sense of moderation.

I’m glad that Zeb was comfortable enough to ask me to refrain. And I’m also glad that when there is something I’m very excited to share, I may ask him and many times he will be fine with it. Especially when he feels it may inspire other families (he’s all about the advocacy these days).

So you may see (or have seen) lots of unschooling or parenting posts for me that seem heavy on the ”theory”, with less emphasis on practical, real-life examples of our experiences. And you may see very little about what Zeb is up to these days.

And there might be are some posts that I write out for my own purpose (I tend to work things out best in writing) but never publish because they contain private information I’m not at liberty to divulge.

But know that he is good and well and just not as publicly open as his mama. And also know that anything you see that mentions him, I write it in full respect of and with approval from my son. (My husband, thankfully, doesn’t mind.)

Guidelines:

1) Link to Green Meme Bloggers.
2) Link back to whoever tagged you. (no need to wait to be tagged!)
3) Include meme number
4) Include these guidelines in your post
5) Tag 3 other green bloggers.

Green Meme #3

1. Are you keeping your temperature (heating/cooling) systems on low? If you have radiators are they fitted with thermostats?

Right now they are off completely and will remain off until mid to late May. Our heater was set to 55 (F) at night and 60 in the mornings and most of the day. In the summer, our AC is never set below 80 and sometimes we can manage 84.

2. If yes to the above, what do you to keep warm/cool without resorting to turning up those numbers?

This winter we wore many layers. And stayed near the sunny windows when possible. We also used multiple blankets on the bed and a heating pad at night sometimes for me since I get colder easier than the guys.

3. Do you turn your fridge temperature down when it has less items in it?

No, I keep it full  – sometimes with water jugs. I’m wondering how much power is used to turn it high again after having it down and whether this actually evens out in the long-run or causes more wear and tear on the engine. Sorta like if you turn your heat/AC off when you’re gone to save power and then it has to work harder when it’s back on. Who knows…

4. Do you unplug unused small appliances?

I never remember to do this. Ever. I got one of those electrical plug boxes that sit inside a plug (turns two outlets to four or six) in hopes that I would remember to just pull it out. I don’t.

5. Do you switch off rather than leave on standby; TV/computer/dvd player/etc?

Nothing goes on standby in our house. Everything is shut off. Zeb usually forgets his computer but now that’s it’s downstairs I will notice and turn it off if he forgets.

6. Do you own (or will you purchase in the future) energy-efficient (star-rated) home appliances?

All of our appliances are Energy Star except the washer and dryer that came with the house. We don’t use the dryer, though. Eventually (when it dies) we’ll replace the washer with a front loading one.

7. Do you have any green goals/hopes for the next few months?

Getting my garden in (probably start a lot this weekend), sell our second vehicle, get our solar oven finished, other misc stuff….

I was tagged by Mon at Holistic Mama. I’m tagging LisaZ, Denise and Elizabeth…

I’ve missed this space. I’m just dying to blog. Some woman crave chocolate when they’re PMSing. I crave words. And other unmentionables. And those things put together are pretty fun, too. Oops, digression…I just have so much to share but how could I possibly do it without visuals? So, I’m compensating.

The first thing I did to occupy my aching fingers was to add our To Do in ’09 list to my left side bar. It’s long. And getting longer by the day. And most items should really have sub-items, but whatever. It gave me something to do.

But it wasn’t enough. So, in order to calm my deprivation and hopefully recover all the readers I’ve lost during my hiatus, here is everything I’ll be telling you once I get my baby back:

• Photos: Christmas sets. Shoots. Other stuff that went on that doesn’t need it’s own blog.
• More about Cloth Toilet Paper: I know everyone is just dying to know how we wipe our asses around here. How could I deny you that 411?
• An Update on Zeb and Santa Claus: Sad day for Dad. Relief for me.
• Organic Lice Treatment: No, we didn’t get it. But dready mamas take no chances, so treated we were. This promises to be an informative blog, so tell your crunchy friends.
• All Zeb’s New Lessons: A menagerie and a big step for a recovering schooler.
• Homemade Vanilla Extract: Yum.
• Canning Trials: Complete with a vintage guide from the 40′s. Uber-cool.
• Seed Starting: And by starting, I mean I started starting. This blog will be a couple weeks away when the rest of my seed arrives.
• What I’ll Be Planting in 2009: Let’s just say I went overboard while ordering.
• Raised Beds and Yard Updates: For those who want the details.
• Knitting: Yes! I’ve learned…er, I’m learning! I’ll also share the strangest, and most intriguing, thing I’ve ever seen. I’m taking bets on who will try it for me.
• Sustainable Actions Update: Remember the list in my sidebar? Well, it needs updating. New things. Things we’ve been slacking on. Goals for this year.
• Plugs and Wishes: This will actually be it’s own page. Stuff I love. Stuff I want. It will exist because of this next bullet point…
• Our Five Year Plan: This one is big. Huge. Ginormous. Life-encompassing. It doesn’t actually involve photos, so maybe if you ask me pretty-please I won’t keep you waiting as long.

I bet you’re as anxious as me for my laptop. Sure you are. So, which ones should I share first?

Jennifer has me all flushed with embarassment. Not over the award she deemed me worthy of but of the kind things she said about me. Aaw. She even used the word “wicked” to describe me. And meant it in a good way! She’s caused my knappy little head to swell with pride.

I am suppose to pass this along to 7 other people but I’m lame and haven’t had time to follow blogs like I’d like to. Not to mention the top person I would pass this on to gave it to me and I’ve tagged all my friends 100 times. So this is all I have:

1.  My unschooling friend, Heather, for being such a rad mama.

2. FlipFlop Mamma cuz I dig her dreads.

3. Dangit! Lisa Z already got one!

4. And Emily, a new blog I’ve just recently began snooping on. She is incredibly inspiring, creative…oh and did I mention she also has dreads?

Sorry. That’s all me got. I promise to be a better blogger soon.

Without further ado, Zeb’s new blog!