Love notes from Zeb on the window where I work…totally feed my soul. ♥

I’ve made some very important changes in my life and work recently, with more on the way.

Actually, they don’t seem all that serious after having made them. But before I made them they were scary and paralyzing and So! Freaking! Life-Threatening!

(That would be those funny beliefs of mine talking.)

Yes, I spent some timing Digging Deep with them (thank you for that, public accountability), peeling back the layers, clearing and healing as I went.

But let me go back a bit…

You see, it started when I realized that I was actually being ridiculously UNproductive.

I have a very full and beautiful life with a full-time coaching practice, a green living website, an amazing family that I thoroughly enjoy spending as much time as possible with and a life of travel.

We do a lot, yo!

But when I looked at my days I was seeing that I spent so much time on things that were NOT productive to my two main purposes in life: feeding my soul and helping others.

I would rationalize with myself that checking emails is important. And of course it is!

But 9874938562 times a day?

I would rationalize that Facebook and Twitter are important to my business. And of course they are!

But do I need to spend several hours a day there?

I would rationalize that fine-tuning and tweaking a project or blog post until it’s “just perfect” was important.

Um, no it isn’t.

I would rationalize that if I just got “these couple things off my to-do list” then I could focus on my next Big, Beautiful Project.

Biggest. Bullshit. Ever.

Wakeup call! I knew that last one wasn’t true!

I know that little things will always be there and putting off the big things for some “ideal” time or for when things are a little less busy or for when I could just take a couple things off my plate is NEVER going to work!

It’s just an excuse, a bad reason to allow the symptoms, distraction and lack of clarity, to be “reasons”.

So I got to ask myself…why?

Why do I spend time on the things that are not actually serving anyone? Why am I choosing to do my second-best, instead of throw myself into my personal best? Why am I fretting over the minute details instead of wholeheartedly moving in the direction my heart is pulling me?

Why am I choosing “productive” over actually PRODUCING?

How is that even productive?

And So I Sat

At this point I was feeling that uncomfortable feeling in my body…where I start tapping my foot or shivering as my subconscious mind says “It’s time to run away from here!” and my body responds with any erratic movement it’s got.

This is ALWAYS my sign that I’m onto something good, something my mind and heart might be afraid to let go.

And fear is always a sign of a lie. (When I’m in Truth, I have no fear.)

So I sat with it in meditation.

I leaned into it, still focusing on my breath and brought the whole feeling and all the thoughts about it in front of my closed eyes.

And I allowed myself to sink in and hold that space.

And I breathed.

And tried not to run away.

There were parts I resisted, that felt too much to bring my awareness to, so I gave them my love and turned back to my breath, opening myself to hearing my own Organic Wisdom.

Then I heard it, in the form of the question Goddess Leonie had heard right before she cut her long mermaid hair…

What would I do if I felt free?

“Free of what?” I asked

“Free of fear, of “shoulds” (oh that dirty, dirty word), of the things I assume about what others will think.”

(Oh you again.)

And then another question…

What would I do if my only priority were feeding my soul and then feeding the souls of others?

And I heard my heart whisper very clearly a litany of things she was ready to shift or release or bring into alignment with what actually feeds my soul…

And almost all of them had to do with the internet. (Go fig.)

I would make the choice to check emails only once or twice in a workday.
And not on the weekends.
I would make the choice to close the Facebook and Twitter tabs on my browser.
I would turn off the notifications on my phone and make off-work hours, disruption-free.
I would choose to call a friend for a long chat instead of send an email.
I would close comments on my blog so that I could write with my heart and not with my ear to the response.
I would conduct the Organic Tribe in a way that feels so congruent with Who I Am and not what is “professional”. (Pffffft.)
I would lean deeper into my own healing gifts and bring those into my coaching sessions with total Trust that my intuition and theirs will always guide us.
I would stop putting limitations on what I can do and just move toward what feels right.

And most importantly, I would ask myself:

Is this:

1. Feeding my soul,
2. Feeding my greater vision and purpose in this world, or
3. Feeding the souls of others?

And truly what I found is that when I can answer yes to the first one, I can answer yes to all of them. ♥

It’s taken some practice.

It’s triggered some fear (in me and in others).

I still have layers to DIG IN to and peel away to fully heal why I hold back so often.

But everytime I feel myself allowing distractions to keep me off-task or excuses to keep me from completion or fear keeping me from total passion and love, I’m guiding myself gently back to my Truth with reminders of that question…

Is this:

1. Feeding my soul,
2. feeding my greater vision and purpose in this world or
3. feeding the souls of others?

And then I make the simple choice to move back to what says “Yes” to that question.

It’s as simple (and as challenging) as that.

I can feel it already. 2010 changed my life. But 2011 is going to rock my world.

Two words have begun to hang over my head: Abundance and Gratitude. And I can feel them both churning and stirring up the mental dust.

In preparation for the mind-altering, life-inspiring, beautiful madness to commence, I’m starting the New Year with a new viewpoint.

I hereby give myself full, unapologetic permission to….

1. Only take and keep the photos I love.
2. Feel shy or walk away.
3. Slow the hell down.
4. Love me how no one else can.
5. Be selfish with my self-care.
6. Surround myself with inspiration and beauty.
7. Say goodbye to my wedding dress.
8. Say hello to clothes that make me feel amazing.
9. Have a piece of life that belongs only to me.
10. Fearlessly live up to my full potential.
11. Take an entire month off from blogging.

Yes, an entire month. January, actually.

It will mark my longest hiatus from blogging since I started almost four years ago. It will be strange and probably disjointed for me. And I’m looking forward to it.

It comes with a reason, of course. We have less than five weeks to wrap up our business here in Las Vegas, purchase and prepare a new rig and hit the road again by February 1st. We will be slammed with things to do and people to see and moments to relish while we can.

But that’s not all, because my time off from blogging is not really time away from my blog at all.

Coinciding with the relaunch of our travels, The Organic Sister will be “relaunching” in February!

I’m going to be spending the month revamping this little space of mine, adding some new awesomeness,  and aligning every part of it with what feels true and authentic and beautiful to me.

I can’t wait to show you what’s in my head!

In the meantime, you can continue to connect with me on Facebook (here or here), Twitter or by email. And I’m still available for coaching and other services.

Until next time, I’ll leave you with some things to think about…

What are you giving yourself permission for?
What will you be creating in the New Year?
And are you living according to your own organic nature?

I gave in. I joined Facebook. Staying in contact with non-blogging, non-Twittering family and letting them know where we are on the road finally won out.

But I’m determined not to let it be a time suck. I figure this is best done by maintaining a feeling of cynicism and reluctance towards the whole thing. It helps that I don’t entirely understand it yet.

I also added Google’s Friend Connect (lower right column of the blog). I’m told it helps Blogspot users follow my blog easier, but I’m not sure I entirely understand that, either.

Do you see what peer pressure does to me? Next thing you know I’ll be chugging the Kool-Aid and jumping off bridges.

All Before and After shots here

It’s still a little stark, but I’m seeing it as a wide open canvas, to be filled with memories along the way. I’m thinking of embroidering the shower curtain and front window curtains, hanging photos and finding unique items to decorate the walls all while on the road.

Interior:

• Removed vinyl wallpaper from ceiling
• Refinished ceiling
• Replaced broken paneling on walls
• Cleaned more smoke residue off the walls than I thought possible
• Removed old carpet
• Removed microwave
• Built doors for cupboard where microwave was
• Painted bright white to open space
• Painted and hung new curtain rods (made from dowels)
• Replaced vinyl shower walls with panels
• Replaced peeling countertops and tabletop
• Installed secondhand flooring
• Replaced vinyl backing on seats
• Sewed new seat cushion covers
• Hung new curtains
• Shampooed carpets and seats in front cab
• Deep, deep, deep cleaning

Body/Engine/Technical:

• New blackwater tank
• Resealed the roof
• Resealed and repaired drafts
• New tires
• Numerous engine leaks fixed
• New shocks
• New power steering pump
• Glow plugs
• Tuneup
• New deep cycle batteries
• Two 80 watt solar panels (will supply all electrical needs)
• Lots of small misc things

Things soon to be added:

• Rocket stove
• Water filter
• Hand-cranked blender
• Waste veggie oil conversion
• Our things! (clothing, pillows, blankets, games, etc)

We’re hoping to be in my mid- to late-February, with a few more weeks to adjust to the smaller spaces before we hit the road.

My favorite thing (other than the whole get-outta-dodge aspect)?

Our new home blessing hung over the door:

With our tiny RV and everyone we’re hoping to meet on the road,
I don’t think this will be a problem.

And because it just didn’t feel right not to, I updated my blog layout and header to reflect our new transition. If you’re in a Reader, be sure to come check it out!

Not only did he make a blog, he even got his first post up.

Not Too Simple

Show him some love, will ya?

He plans to blog about full-time RVing, sustainability issues, home brewing, and other personal interests. He feels as if he’s at the start of something and wants to chronicle his journey through it, without feeling locked into any one topic.

The problem is he has no idea what to call it!

I’ve given him two suggestions – UnlostWanderer (inspired from the quote “Not all who wander are lost”) and for laughs, SustainInTheMembrane, cuz he’s a Old School dork with a sustainable streak.

But he’s unsure. So, he’s asking for your help. Do you have any suggestions for him?

Erin’s post reminded me that I had never posted our own version of the same.

Many months ago, when I had made a brief mention on the blog of a project Zeb was working on then mentioned that fact to him, he was not so happy. That little tidbit suddenly thrust before his eyes the reality that lots of people read about him. People he doesn’t know. And that makes him very uncomfortable.

So, he asked me to not blog about him.

It’s a difficult situation, whether you’re talking about your child or your friend. Those of us that find something (connection, communication, an outlet – creative or emotional or both – or more) in blogging, blog from our own perspective. We delve into our experiences and emotions and thoughts with our own level of comfortable abandon. And everything within that perspective feels personal.

But the feeling is deceiving. Blogging isn’t personal because my life isn’t personal. It’s shared with an amazing husband and son with thoughts, emotions or perspectives of their own. What I may want to share from my own point-of-view may will look different from theirs. And if those two perspectives conflict (on the experience of the blogging of it), it’s obviously a problem.

NOT a picture of Zeb. Just my cold feet by my fake fire
getting ready to crochet a blankie for my sis.

I suppose it’s a bit of a double standard. I wouldn’t dream of blogging about a personal experience with a friend, but I so quickly forget my home life is not just my own. It belongs to them, too. So, while this is “my” blog, it also belongs to them in the sense of moderation.

I’m glad that Zeb was comfortable enough to ask me to refrain. And I’m also glad that when there is something I’m very excited to share, I may ask him and many times he will be fine with it. Especially when he feels it may inspire other families (he’s all about the advocacy these days).

So you may see (or have seen) lots of unschooling or parenting posts for me that seem heavy on the ”theory”, with less emphasis on practical, real-life examples of our experiences. And you may see very little about what Zeb is up to these days.

And there might be are some posts that I write out for my own purpose (I tend to work things out best in writing) but never publish because they contain private information I’m not at liberty to divulge.

But know that he is good and well and just not as publicly open as his mama. And also know that anything you see that mentions him, I write it in full respect of and with approval from my son. (My husband, thankfully, doesn’t mind.)

I offered a giveaway a few weeks ago. It was a favor for a friend and it wasn’t a product or a format that I would be comfortable using again – not because there was anything “wrong” with it but because it just wasn’t my style. But it was a learning experience and I was able to walk away with a better understanding of one way of doing things. However, it wasn’t my way, so I’m setting my standards now.

• I will never, ever, ever add or accept a sponsor that I wouldn’t support myself. This means sponsors have to be small businesses and sustainably-minded. They have to offer products of good, lasting quality and not just “Stuff” that no one needs. If I wouldn’t bring it into my home, you won’t see it on my blog.
• I’ll do giveaways, reviews, sponsored posts, Amazon links and buttons on my blog. I won’t do Google adSense or other random ads that give me no control over content. That’s crap.
• I’m going to be completely honest. I won’t review a product (or book or whatever) that sucks and tell you it’s wonderful. I hate when blogs use excessive exclamation marks when talking about their sponsors. You’ll get what you always get from me – my honest opinion.
• This is still my blog – my space. I’m not going to turn it into some spammy site full of irrelevant ads and cheesy crap. I’m not going to be an endless stream of sponsors, so that reading my blog isn’t worthwhile anymore. I’m not going to change what I do or who I am to make a buck. This will probably mean I won’t be making much from this endeavor ;) but my integrity is worth more than my bank account.

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Again, this was a really tough decision for me. I’d love to keep the status of an ”Ad-Free Blog” but even more so I’d love to accomplish our Five-Year Plan and live self-sufficiently on our own debt-free land and this is one more way to enable us to do that without me resorting to desperate means. I hope no one will view me or my blog differently or change their mind about following me.

I’d love to hear your thoughts or feedback on this. You can comment or email me.

P.S. And if you have a product, online store or book that you think I’ll like, let me know and we can chat.

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Thanks to Kathie for letting me blabber on. Also, thanks to her for starting the Doing Not Thinking Challenge, which I have ironically been doing a lot of thinking about. HA!

I’m using this opportunity to really focus on what I’ve been wanting to do for some time. But sometimes the timing isn’t right or you’re not fully ready to move forward and you just have to wait for the right moment to jump in. Thankfully her challenge came at the right time and I’m ready to capitalize on the opportunity. I feel good!

So I’ve been starting by organizing my thoughts and formulating a plan. I have until September 20th, which is 20 weeks from today. I updated my lists on my sidebar to reflect my goals and track some progress. And I added one. Here they are again:

• Goal #1: Time management: – to find a rhythm to my days that allow me to have fun, enjoy the things I don’t want to miss and accomplish the tasks I’d like to accomplish.
• Goal #2: Purge every room of my home of uneeded or unused “stuff” and hopefully have a yard sale (or ditch that idea and donate it all to Goodwill – Carol, maybe we could do our yard sale together? Or carpool to Goodwill!). I’ll have a little less than two weeks for each area.
• Goal #3: Learn to play the harmonica and successfully execute an entire Beatles song by the end of the challenge. It’s my all-time favorite instrument – I already own three of them – and I’m determined to begin practicing, with the intention of daily practice, knowing full well that’s unlikely but working towards it anyway. I know I won’t be tearing it up in 20 weeks, but I’ll at least be on my way.

Something else this challenge has motivated me to do is reorganize the blog. I eliminated my “Resources” page and added it all to an Amazon aStore in my links. I listed all my favorite unschooling, parenting, gardening and “green” books and more. FYI, I do get a commission for anything ordered off the aStore so if there is something you need would you mind checking there first? All funds go towards our land! :)

I also updated my other pages, adding “Our Garden” which is where I’ll update what’s growing and provide a few quick links to relevant blog posts. And I’ve updated The Five Year Plan as best I could with so much up in the air right now. I still haven’t figured out why this theme/layout won’t allow the page comments to show, though.

I created a button for my Sustainable Baby Steps posts to help it stand out and I also updated my “Sustainable Actions” list and added an Amazon “On My Nightstand” widget so you can easily spy on what I’m reading. (P.S. I’m always looking for more great books to read. As if I don’t have enough already.)

Then there is the “Check This Out!” links on the right – all the cool things I’ve found and wanted to share. And a “Find More of Me” in case you just can’t get enough. And I rearranged and added and omitted some links, and changed up my categories, as well.

And, soon I’ll have a new header and a button to share my blog.

I feel so accomplished! What have you been working on?

Guidelines:

1) Link to Green Meme Bloggers.
2) Link back to whoever tagged you. (no need to wait to be tagged!)
3) Include meme number
4) Include these guidelines in your post
5) Tag 3 other green bloggers.

Green Meme #3

1. Are you keeping your temperature (heating/cooling) systems on low? If you have radiators are they fitted with thermostats?

Right now they are off completely and will remain off until mid to late May. Our heater was set to 55 (F) at night and 60 in the mornings and most of the day. In the summer, our AC is never set below 80 and sometimes we can manage 84.

2. If yes to the above, what do you to keep warm/cool without resorting to turning up those numbers?

This winter we wore many layers. And stayed near the sunny windows when possible. We also used multiple blankets on the bed and a heating pad at night sometimes for me since I get colder easier than the guys.

3. Do you turn your fridge temperature down when it has less items in it?

No, I keep it full  – sometimes with water jugs. I’m wondering how much power is used to turn it high again after having it down and whether this actually evens out in the long-run or causes more wear and tear on the engine. Sorta like if you turn your heat/AC off when you’re gone to save power and then it has to work harder when it’s back on. Who knows…

4. Do you unplug unused small appliances?

I never remember to do this. Ever. I got one of those electrical plug boxes that sit inside a plug (turns two outlets to four or six) in hopes that I would remember to just pull it out. I don’t.

5. Do you switch off rather than leave on standby; TV/computer/dvd player/etc?

Nothing goes on standby in our house. Everything is shut off. Zeb usually forgets his computer but now that’s it’s downstairs I will notice and turn it off if he forgets.

6. Do you own (or will you purchase in the future) energy-efficient (star-rated) home appliances?

All of our appliances are Energy Star except the washer and dryer that came with the house. We don’t use the dryer, though. Eventually (when it dies) we’ll replace the washer with a front loading one.

7. Do you have any green goals/hopes for the next few months?

Getting my garden in (probably start a lot this weekend), sell our second vehicle, get our solar oven finished, other misc stuff….

I was tagged by Mon at Holistic Mama. I’m tagging LisaZ, Denise and Elizabeth…