Posts Tagged "boundaries"

There Are No Such Things As Business Emergencies

Taking it easy with an outdoor office Hi Tara, I have a question for you: I’ve been in business for myself for a couple years now, selling art and recently making some digital products, and I have a really hard time with it. I didn’t anticipate all the little emergencies that keep coming up. They take away from my family and my personal life, which I don’t like, but they also have to be dealt with…Any advice on how I can handle these things without compromising my priorities all the time? – Organic Tribe sister Deep breath, sista…take this in, with all the love it’s coming to you with. There are no such things as “business emergencies” that should ever take away from your family. Only our beliefs tell us to jump every time Life hiccups. You’re an artist, not a heart surgeon. Your business is not life or death….

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Being Compassionate Toward Others {Not To Be Confused with a Doormat}

I have been dealing with a family that I assumed was normal and was trying to be compassionate with. It turns out they are sociopaths with no conscience. How can we be compassionate without being taken advantage of? – A Facebook Sistah Ah, boundaries come to mind first. Compassionate doesn’t mean sacrificial. Compassion includes yourself. It means seeing beneath another person’s behaviors to the pain or fear or (tragic) attempts to meet their needs. It means choosing to see them with empathy, to understand what brought them to this place. And sometimes it means compassionately saying “no” or “I love you and I’m not okay with this” or stepping away, removing yourself from something that is hurting you or others. Even “sociopaths” are human beings with a long history of hurt or fear and no other tools, still doing the best they can, even if that’s not very wonderful at…

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Raising a Boxless Child

Mrs R left me a comment on my How To Shape A Child post that I wanted to answer here: Just curious…how do you balance the needs of our society (as it functions really, not ideally) and safety with raising a “boxless” child? I too have witnessed the pain of adults in the opposite situation. For these people it is painful to discover that their individuality brokers far less value (social or otherwise) than their upbringing had led them to believe. (My apologies if you address this obviously elsewhere in your blog. FYI, for “boxing purposes” I am an accidental attachment parent and quite sympathetic to the post, but conflicted about my own implementation of it.) I’ve read and reread this question. I think I understand it, so hopefully my answer isn’t way off. (If it is, let me know!)In actuality, I think there are several answers to this question. So…

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Boundaries within unschooling

This was my first real struggle with unschooling and I’d really like to share what I learned and what has really positively changed our families dynamic. It seems that in our society, people see things such as parenting as “black” or “white”. Many parents think of themselves as some all-knowing powerhouse over their children and exert their control whenever possible. They believe they know what is best and their children must be trained to act according to their guidelines. In these instances, it’s all about the parents wants and needs. That’s the “black”. Then they see unschooling and assume it must be the “white”. It must be putting the children in control of the household; turning them into the “all-knowing powerhouse” and making the world all about the kids wants and needs to the sacrifice of everyone else. Yes and no. As Sandra Dodd says, “Your rights end, where another’s…

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