Today we spent the afternoon with grandparents, aunt, uncles and cute little nieces making, icing and decorating holiday cookies…and playing in the flour.

I hope your Christmas is just as beautifully messy, in the very best of ways.

Sadly my camera seems to be disagreeable these days. Hmm, wonder if I can ask Santa for a new one?

December 1-5

What I’m most excited about is heading to Eugene, Oregon, this week!

We’re driving up with the new Ford to do the veggie oil conversion with Green Eye Auto. Justin could have done the conversion here in Vegas, but wanted the opportunity to play in the shop. And…well, a road trip sounds more fun!

I don’t have our dates and we’re not sure how long we’re going to stay, but I sure am excited to spend my birthday week back on the road.

On to some inspiration:

• My guest post on Visionary Mom
• This artist always hypnotizes me.
• Another sweet song by her.
• So, so good.
• Okay, one more fave.
• Someone reminded me of this awesome post.
• Wondering if I could manage another project.
• Wow!
• Couldn’t love this more.
• A must see.

What’s Inspiring You?

The things with which we fill our spirits and our minds have the power to transform our perceptions, our moods and our lives. That’s the purpose behind these Inspiration Monday posts.

Inspiration Monday gives you the opportunity throughout the week to seek out and save the things that inspire you with the sole purpose of helping to inspire others.

Life should be Inspired, not required. Let’s get inspired!

Write your own blog post and share its link in the form below. Or leave a comment on this post.

If it’s not a post about what is inspiring you, please don’t link it in the form!

The following was included from last year’s never-sent letters but still applies as much today.

It’s been strange to look over photos of recent years, to read our past holiday letters, to reminisce over how far we’ve come and try not to think of how far we have yet to go. We’ve changed in so many ways and through so many experiences, both joyful and heartbreaking. The choices we’ve made have completely transformed our lives. Our eyes have been open to the delicate intricacies in life, the seemingly insignificant things that shape us, the precious moments that will warm us decades later. Lessons of judgment and patience, of peace and connection resonate in our hearts and then seem to be forgotten amidst the rubble of a busy life, while losses so painful to speak aloud still rattle our souls as we attempt to grasp their meaning as well. And so despite all we feel we have accomplished, we recognize all the fullness of the life that lies ahead.

We’ve been blessed in this life. We have each other and all of you. We love you all, and miss those of you we don’t often see. We pray you’re finding more opportunities to laugh than cry, more times to give than take, more moments of peace than chaos. We hope your lives are swimming in love and that you embrace the passion and joy in life and are able to release all else. We hope the life you desire is the life you create and we hope to rejoice in your successes and comfort you in your heartaches. But most of all we pray you feel our love for you always, as it always remains.

:: Tree trimming a still crooked (but sturdy) tree
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:: Laughing hysterically at the goofy things we do in front of the camera

:: Playing a bit with my new present before putting it away
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:: Making omelets together

:: Snuggling on the couch, watching A Christmas Story and reciting the best lines verbatim
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:: Playing with the Rubik’s Cube and coming to the conclusion that the real genius doesn’t mix it up to begin with

:: Finishing my newborn’s niece’s baby blanket while Zeb reads a chapter of HP2 out loud
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:: Enjoying each other’s company

This will be our last Christmas here, so we’re really trying to make the most of it. We hung lights outside for the first time in years and are planning our entire month with activities or events. Or, trying to. It’s difficult to find traditions that speak to us personally, in a spiritual but non-religious way, and also include plenty of time spent with family and friends.

We intended to start the Advent traditions off yesterday with decorating the Christmas tree. (Yes, we’re on the “real tree” side of the debate.) But we apparently got the National Lapoon variety of tree; the dang thing wouldn’t stay up! After nearly an hour of recutting and readjusting, it was bedtime for a very grumpy husband and a postponement of our Advent kickoff.

I’ve started compiling a list of ideas to run by the guys. Then we’ll decide together which ones we’d like to do. I suppose, we’ll likely combine some of these ideas or fill in any open nights with movies or stories or do nothing at all.

Here are the Advent activities I’ve come up with so far:

• Decorate the darn tree already!
• Christmas movie and homemade caramel popcorn
• Homemade Christmas cards
• Make pine wreaths from Justin tree hackings
• Making salt dough ornaments
• Letters to Santa Not this year, maybe we’ll try Letters of Gratitude & Prayer
• Family Game Night with friends
• Gift shopping with dinner out
• Homemade eggnog night
• Visit the Magical Forest (decorated park with charity proceeds)
• A children’s production of The Nutcracker
• Walk the neighborhood to see the decorations
• Make Christmas cookies
• Holiday productions
• Something to do with candles would be nice
• Homemade gifts for family
• Volunteering for a charity
• Play Christmas songs on the piano together
• Make pinecone bird seed feeders to decorate an outdoor tree
• Angel Tree shopping
• Making paper snowflakes or other holiday origami
• Read The Christmas Carol or other stories together
• Party with our local unschooling group
• Gingerbread houses or Christmas Trees made from sugar cones
• Gift wrapping night
• Sledding, if there is enough snow, or ice skating
• Christmas Eve dinner with family
• Stuff stockings and open a small gift on Christmas Eve

Any more ideas?

Two and a half weeks of disconnection from the Big Wide World. No TV, no computer, very few video games. It was superb. Heavenly. Beautiful. (Now that my laptop is away and taking longer than anticipated to repair and it’s now a mandatory disconnection, I have a few other choice words to describe my current time offline. But I digress…)

We had such fun: reading Dickens’ A Christmas Carol every night, playing in the additional snow that fell throughout the first week, baking cookies, sledding down giant hills, laughing with friends. Oh, if only I hadn’t uploaded all my photos to the laptop right before I took it in. I have so many things to show you, so many wonderful things we did over the holiday and all that holiday cheer will be redundant to share come mid-January!

There are two things I can share that require no photos and had none to match anyway.  That would be the “reconnect” part of the title. Here’s my story:

Two Brothers for Christmas (or The Best Christmas Gifts Ever)

Did I ever mention that I have two brothers, both named John? (That’s not to mention my dad, my uncle and a cousin who share the name.) What can I say; it was a popular name in the 70′s and I’m sure my parents had a good laugh about their first-born’s names when they met and married and later shared me. (Their favorite. HA)

I’ve been closest with my sister (probably cuz she understands that “favorite” joke) but never very close with my brothers. Not for any particular reasons, other than we have little in common and never see each other. The younger John lives here in Vegas, but we haven’t talked since shortly after our dad’s death in 2007. Probate, decisions, differences of opinion, heartache, a desire to hold on to our father in different ways: it ended badly for us the last we spoke. Well, probate is ending, decisions still needed to be made and I knew our Cold War must also end.

I was skerred. I knew I was the one avoiding communication and was the one responsible for the first move and I was worried how he’d respond. So – being the chicken shit I am – I sent him a text message. It said probate was ending, and we needed to find a way to come to an agreement. His text back was amazing. It said “Ok, let’s work this out. I love you. I’ve really missed you.” I know. My brother loves me? He misses me? I never would have thunk it. I’m still smiling about it. Since that day we’ve met and talked and agreed and are working together. We’re both amiable and forgiving and compromising. It’s so…so…amazing.

Later that day, awhile after the amazing text from the younger John, I saw the oldest John. The oldest John lives in Utah with his wife and three daughters. He came down to Vegas the weekend before Christmas for a pre-holiday celebration and we went to spend the evening with the whole family. But instead I ended up outside with my brother and our mutual sister talking with him. He’s in a tough place right now. And for the first time that I can remember, he opened up to us. He poured his heart out. And he listened. My sister and I shared our hearts with him. We brainstormed solutions. We shared what worked for us. We slapped a little sense into him once and awhile. We laughed. We cried. (Well, they cried cuz they’re sissies and my tear ducts were frozen from standing outside in the cold.) We hugged. I can’t remember the last time I hugged my brother. I can’t remember the last time – if ever – we had connected, emotionally or spiritually. And there we were, doing both.

As I was driving home that night I felt my heart melt as I thought over the day. I felt like I had somehow gained two brothers in one day. I felt the miracle of both situations and the miracle of the Christmas Spirit. How it warmed me. Slowed me down. Taught me to look around and listen and hope and trust. Forced me to disconnect from what was distracting me and reconnect with what I was missing. Asked me how it was I keep forgetting that lesson. Of everything else that happened this holiday season, none of it makes as big an impact as loving two brothers in one day.

In the two and a half weeks offline, I didn’t miss my computer or my blog (okay, my blog a little). I didn’t miss the 200+ emails waiting for me or the 250+ blogs to catch up on in my Reader.

In fact, I didn’t miss a thing. I caught each and every tender moment. Every snuggle under the quilt with carols on the radio. Every smile and laugh shared between us. Every flake of snow or carefully wrapped gift. And all those warm fuzzies that let you know that despite what’s going on in the world, we can still have a happy home. We can choose it.

Happiest New Year everyone.

With all our love,
TheCrazies

P.S. Stay tuned for a really awesome revelation we uncovered over our break and some really cool stuff coming in our future!

P.S.S. Our feed has changed. Visit my blog for the new feed!

Seriously! We woke up late this morning, looked outside, then looked a little harder. It was flippin’ snowing! We were outside in short sleeve shirts just yesterday! You’d think we’d never seen it the way we stood at the window and shivered admired it. We do occasionally get some flurries but rarely anything that sticks.  And every few years we’ll get a bit that will cover the grass or bushes. But rarely does it ever snow during the day AND for several hours AND stick.

I spent the morning doing what I meant to do yesterday – covering our plywood and scraps (being saved for raised beds) with tarps, hiding our veggie beds under layers of leaves and covering them with anything I could find (plastic painter’s tarp discovered in our garage) – and started to realize something as I was traipsing thru the snow. *It didn’t feel that cold!* Only my fingers were chilled from scraping snow off some of the wood. Holy moly! I think I’ve acclimated!

And guess what! We haven’t turned on our heater yet! Did you hear that, Jennifer? I can see my breath and it’s still off. Who you calling a wuss now? Justin and I are wearing long john’s and many layers. We’re chilly but feeling okay. Zeb is acting like we’re crazy. He’s only wearing long johns to please his mama, otherwise he’d be running around barefoot without much more than a tshirt.

We did all our errands today, despite the constant snow. And I must say: I was lacking any Christmas Spirit until today. Climate change has a funny way of making me merry. (??) Up until now, we’ve had a half decorated tree and a partially decorated mantel (still lacking its stockings). Other than a homeschool co-op where Zeb made a graham cracker house and occasionally suffering through carols on the radio, we’d done nothing else.

But now I’m feeling like making up for lost time! We’ve been talking about doing another “unplug” week where we all take a break from computer, blog, email, video games and TV (unless it’s a family thing, like playing Wii or watching a movie together ).  Now it’s decided: Starting tomorrow we’re all going to power down until after the New Year to allow us to focus on the holidays and each other.

To kick things off and in celebration of the snow, we made paper snowflakes after dinner. We did it around the candles, to test the warmth they give off. (Not enough to be worth it, Elizabeth.)

Over the next few days we have plans to make salt dough ornaments, watch Christmas movies, read stories (we may even light the gas fireplace for that one) and hopefully get some more decorations up. I also have some Christmas presents to sew and some other crafts to accomplish. Not to mention a little holiday shopping. Then there are get-togethers and Christmas parties with friends and family. For New Year’s, we’re going to write a time capsule letter for our future selves to read next December 31st. And sometime soon I’ll be building our raised beds and digging the holes for the trees.

So friends, this will be my last post of the year. I’ll be back very early in 2009 with lots of photos and probably some stories. And I’ll probably still update my Twitter (in the left sidebar) by text when I remember it, so you can follow me there.

Happy holidays, whichever you may happen to celebrate. And see ya next year!

He isn’t settling for the sidestep aversion type answers that are really questions that enable you to avoid being put on the spot. “Some people believe in Santa and some do not. What do you think?”

:angst:

So that you better understand my angst, let me give you a bit of history: I’m not a Santa person. I never have been. The extent of this yearly intruder in my childhood home was a porcelein statuette of the fat man kneeling by the manger. And at Z’s age I thought the idea cute but preposterous and didn’t understand how anyone could A) believe in such a thing or B) lie to their kids about such a thing.

A bit of an old soul, yes. I was the child who couldn’t wait for the food, playing games around a cleared table with a piece of pumpkin pie, falling asleep against my mom to the sound of her voice in her chest. I loved the decorations, driving around looking for ornately lit homes, drinking egg nog, making cookies.

Sure I loved the gifts, but I only remember one of them and that’s because of the tortuous lesson I learned from her. A doll with color-changing hair. Hot water in her brush turned her all blond. Cold water gave her punk-rock-ish colored stripes. The lesson learned? Sometimes all your hard work with a hot water brush can be ruined when you step out into the cold. She wasn’t played with much after that.

Z wasn’t introduced to S.C. until he was three, just after Justin and I got married. Justin grew up with the compulsive cookie eater and insisted that every child should know the “magicalness” of Santa. I was personally put off by the fact that Santa got the credit for the good gifts, so we compromised by giving him credit only for the 2nd best gifts. But I was also put off by the his ability to turn the holiday focus to gifts.

To me Christmas was about faith, love, family, tradition. And Santa came in and stole the show with his obligatory present giving, consumerism, commercialism. Hmph.

So on Christmas Eve when Z insisted on the “truth”, I was suddenly stuck. I could admit how I feel, how I lied against my better judgement, and burst his bubble the very night the tubby man was supposed to shimmy down our narrow flue. Or I could insist he is real and let him figure it out by some other means.

But he wanted the truth! And he expected it from me! So I blabbered about how truth is relative. Some people believe in things that others don’t and that doesn’t change the things they do or do not believe in; it only changes themselves. Yeah, he wasn’t going for that answer. I rebuttaled by saying all I could do was tell him what I thought – my truth. I said I believe in the real St. Nicholas from a long time ago and I believe in the spirit of Christmas that Santa is supposed to represent. But I did not believe in Santa as we know him today.

Nope, still not satisfied. He mulled it all over in the back seat of the truck for a minute. Then the unthinkable happened in which I did something I didn’t want to do. The kid made me pinkie-swear that I wouldn’t fill his stocking or put out presents! Then he would know if Santa were real by whether or not anything was put out!

Justin made me break my pinkie-swear. It wasn’t my fault, I take no responsibility for it and yet I feel horribly guilty. But what were my options? Kill the joy the night before Christmas or on Christmas morning? And “because we pinkie-swore and there were still presents”, he is now certain of the existence of Santa. He believes in Santa because he knows I wouldn’t lie to him or break a pinkie-swear!!!

So now I’m spinning in my office chair toying with the idea of writing Z a letter, explaining my actions and coming clean. Or just sweeping it under the rug and letting him come to it on his own next year. I see pros and cons to both; one big one is to model honesty and coming clean after you’ve told a whopper. But I don’t know if I have the guts.

I’m having nightmares of therapy sessions with a 30-year-old Z telling the shrink “It all started when my mom broke her pinkie-swear”. And then an Italian Santa and his “little friends” loom over my bed threatening to feed me to the fishes if I squeal.

So I’m turning to anyone who might read this. Should I tell or should I zip it for one more year? Please help me.