TMI Alert: Cloth Toilet Paper

cloth toilet paper setup
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Because I know you’re all just dying to know how to sustainably clean your nether-regions, I figured I’d update on our excursions into the land of cloth toilet paper (a.k.a My mother thinks I’m crazy).

We’ve expanded! Not only does our master bathroom still have a cloth toilet paper setup, our downstairs/guest bathroom also shares it’s plush wonders with our private blunders. It’s a beautiful thing, this swiping with cottony goodness.

I decided the camoflauge patterned cloth – although aptly colored – was in need of updating if we were to exemplify our enviro-awesomeness with friends and family in the 2nd bathroom. Off to the fabric store and no, I did not talk Cloth Toilet Paper (also know as cloth wipes or family wipes) with the fabric lady, thank you very much. It’s one thing to blab about our crappy crusades with the whole online world. It’s quite another to talk poopy arses face-to-face. Ahem. But I did get a super soft and slightly fuzzy fleece fabric in shades of blue to match our “beach-themed” bathroom. And while I was there I picked up a flannel floral cotton for the master bathroom, just cuz it was prrrty and I’d rather wipe my ::cough:: with a lovely floral print, if you must know.

I purchased about 3/4 yards of each fabric and cut them into squares about 4×4 inches or whatever I eyeballed it to be. The blue fleece didn’t require any sewing but I did a quick stitch around the outside of the other one to prevent excessive fraying. Wash, cut fringe and you’re good to go! Now before I go further, I will say I don’t believe the fleece to be quite as absorbant and wouldn’t go that route again, nor recommend it to others. The flannel cotton, however, is divine.

Now, I also changed our “system”. Before I was using a wet bag for #1 and a bucket with a vinegar/water solution for El Numero DooDoo. Before incorporating the downstairs/guest bathroom into the equation, I nixed the vinegar bucket and found there was no smell or problem washing. But when I started the second bathroom…

See, it turns out (and here comes the *real* TMI Alert) that Justin uses the downstairs bathroom in the mornings before work for his dirty business (the man’s got intestinal clockwork, I tell ya). So, while Zeb and I were using the cloth toilet paper like an environmental hiker (Leave No Trace) and thus having no issue with smell or washing, it was really because Justin wasn’t really involved in the matter yet.

But shortly after adding the regimen to his pot of choice, I went to wash the downstairs bathroom’s TP and was practically assalted – ASSaulted, people! I mean, we eat the same foods! What’s the issue here?? How come my toilet paper receptical is a pleasant walk through a lavendar field while his singes nostril hairs and inflames my olfactory nerve?

His explanation: Apparently when he goes to “drop the kids off at the pool”, there are a few reluctant swimmers. And the only way to take care of Klingons in his opinion is by using abusing my pretty blue cloth toilet paper! Talk about a rank residue (haha resiDOO). At first, I thought it was back to water/vinegar. And maybe a bit more fiber for Justin. Or an electric trimmer, for goodness sakes. Or if that didn’t help, he may have be the only lucky butt o go back to regular recycled toilet paper. Instead we’ve he’s found that rinsing the wipe when necessary prior to placing in the wet bag is all that’s needed.

And all this doesn’t even mention some really demented dogs and their obsession with our wet bag. Sometimes I wonder about me…

cloth toilet paper and bathroom reading
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How To Go Cloth – The Nuts and Bolts:

I’ve moved all the nuts and bolts to my new site; you can find the information here:

Truly Recycled Toilet Paper: Cloth Toilet Paper Facts

Feel free to ask me questions. Or ridicule me by saying you’ll never come to my house. I can take it.

Non-Disposable vs Disposable Costs

Jennifer asked me to relate my cost savings after implementing so many non-disposable systems in our home. Now all these numbers are rough estimates, but are fairly close. Also I’m estimating my non-disposable items to last us at least 5 years. Some may need replacing prior to that, while many will last longer.

Paper napkins: Being the trailer trash we are, we never really bought napkins anyway. We just swiped extras when we ate out. So we haven’t saved any money, but we do feel less eco-guilt.

Cloth Napkins: Initial Cost: $40. Savings: $0

Paper towels: Monthly: $6; Annually: $72
Cloth towels: Initial Cost: $40; 1st Year Savings: $32; Year 2-5: $288

Dish Sponges: Monthly: $2.50; Annually: $30
Crocheted Cotton Rags: Initial Cost: $6; 1st Year Savings: $24; Year 2-5: $120

Water Bottles: Monthly: $10; Annually: $120
Stainless Steel Water Bottles: Initial Cost: $45; 1st Year Savings: $75; Year 2-5: $480

Feminine Products (Organic): Monthly: $20; Annually: $240
Cloth Pads and a Diva Cup: Initial Cost: approx $60; 1st Year Savings: $180; Year 2-5: $960

Toilet Paper: Monthly: $6; Annually: $72
Cloth Wipes: Initial Cost: $4; 1st Year Savings: $68; Years 2-5: $288

Drum roll please…

Total Prior Costs for 5 years: $2,670
Total Current Costs for 5 Years: $195
My Total Savings over a Five Year Period: $2,475

What could you do with an additional $2,500 – an average of $500 a year? Mine is being spent on my edible landscaping, which will coincidentally save me even more money down the road! Ya gotta love that!

When I have more time I’ll elaborate on the other sustainable ways we’ve started saving money. In the meantime, I’d love to hear how others are saving!

Going Non-Disposable

In recent months we’ve been transitioning to non-disposable wherever possible. Whenever I can make an economical and environmental switch to something non-disposable, I jump on the opportunity. Who doesn’t want to save money and natural resources? Here’s my rundown on what once was but is now not a disposable item in our house:

  • Shopping Bags: We have actually been doing this for years. Even decades! My mom used canvas bags before canvas bags were popular. And I’m now the proud owner of what the cashier admiringly calls “vintage” Lucky store bags. (Are things from my childhood already considered vintage?) I’ve taken this to the next level, however. If I forget my bags, I still refuse plastic and instead carry out my purchases or load them back into my cart and then into my vehicle. No. More. Plastic. Bags.
  • Napkins: This was the next and most obvious thing to change. Well, obvious to us anyway. I’m still a bit surprised over the number of people who have asked if they could instead use a paper napkin because they didn’t want to “get the cloth napkins dirty”. I’m still not sure what else they assumed they were for.
  • Towels: I did love my paper towels. Simple, easy and as the commercials say, more sanitary, right? I’m actually shocked since not using paper towels anymore just how obnoxious those commercials can be. Are our homes really that infested with disease that we need to spray, wipe and throw anyway anything that touches the counter or :GASP: the floor? Now we have a large stack of cloth towels of varying colors and I love them just as much.
  • Dish Sponges: Okay, so these weren’t a one-time use item, but they certainly don’t last as long as our homemade crocheted washrags. When we miss the added scratchiness, we wrap the washrag in the mesh bags that some veggies come in. Works like a charm.
  • Water Bottles: I made the switch to reusable water bottles many years ago but am very happy to announce my switch from plastic reusable bottles to stainless steel water bottles. No more need to worry about plastic leaching chemicals into my water, especially in the heat. And my new water bottles will last a lot longer.
  • Feminine Products: This has got to be my most favorite switch. After years of purchasing very pricey, organic, unbleached feminine products, the monthly savings alone gets me excited! I made flannel cloth pads myself and purchased a Moon Cup as well, although I much prefer my pads. Never, ever going back. I just soak them and wash them like I wash my…
  • Cloth Toilet Paper: This was a slow transition for our family. I started out just using cloth wipes for Numero Uno, until we all were comfortable making a full switch. I used scrap material cut into squares (about 4×4 or bigger) with a simple stitch around the edges to minimize fraying. Our whole system is rather simple:- Cloth wipes (also known as the “family cloth”) used for urine only are put into a handmade wet bag I purchased from Etsy. Urine is basically sterile so I have no worries about smell or bacteria.
    - Wipes used for #2 are put into a container with a water and vinegar mixture to kill bacteria and odor.
    - Washing uses no extra resources, as cloth wipes can be washed in any load of laundry not containing napkins, dish rags or towels. We line dry them for the added benefit of the sun sterilizing them.

There are still several things that I’m finishing up before switching to more sustainable options – like razors. And as I become more proficient at growing my own foods, I’ll also be preserving and therefore reusing canning jars. I’d also like to invest in some easy to clean yet still sustainable dinnerware for parties and BBQ’s (our recent 4th of July party created more trash in one evening than we create in a month!). But overall, we are pretty good at avoiding one-time use items. In doing so, our family of three only creates one kitchen sized bag of trash a week! Not to mention the appeasement of my frugal streak. ;)

Am I Too Green?

I had to share this because I find it hilariously accurate to what people have been saying about me lately:

You Know You’re Going A Bit Too Green When

Well, my mom officially thinks I’ve gone overboard. This came first after I heard via proxy about Crunchy Chicken’s challenge to use cloth toilet paper. (This was an old challenge for her but a recent one for me.) And then I was reading through some of her other challenges and decided to save myself nearly $25 in organic menstrual pads by switching to reusable options.

Oh, don’t go all fifth-grader on me. I can’t hear you “Ew”-ing already. Anyone that uncomfortable with their body and its natural functions can stop reading now (or grab a mirror for some good ol’ Fried Green Tomatoes getting-to-know-oneself).

So because I think I’m so cool with my “Urban Homesteading” I decide instead of ordering a few rock-your-face-off organic menstrual pads from Etsy, my silly ass will sew them. I mean it can’t be that hard right? Yeah maybe for someone who understands what all those knobs on her sewing machine actually do. I have five knobs – FIVE – and I haven’t a clue what 3 of them do. And one of the two I do know, I really only half know. That’s right I can only understand one and a half knobs on this behemoth.

So off I traipsed to the fabric store and rummaged through the remnant stacks and come up with three different and dang cute fabrics that are absolutely perfect to be completely ruined on a monthly basis. I then remember my husbands old flannel pajamas that ripped in the waist and ask if I may recycle those. He kindly obliged with hardly a giggle.

At this point, I’m doing pretty good, and feeling perfectly capable of throwing together something rather fantastical that will never again be seen by anyone. “Oh, yeah”, I’m thinking as I strut around the fabric store pretending like I know my bobbins from batting and feeling like The Shit, “I can so totally do this.”

Oh-ho-ho, was I in for some humbling. I thought these free online patterns looked pretty simple on the onset. Ha. I quickly threw them out the window and opted for something heinously deformed. Why? Cuz I don’t have time for this crap.

My mom’s advice “If you’re getting so frustrated that you want to cry, just put it down and work on it another time.”

Well, you see Mom, I don’t have another time to get these finished because I only have a day or two before my period starts. Nothing like cutting it close, eh? (cutting, get it? he) And I’m NOT going to spend another $25 on a month’s supply of organic pads just to throw those bastards in the trash. Yes, it truly is nearly $25 a month, especially when you’re flowing like the Mississippi.

Perhaps attempting to learn a sewing machine, sew a wad of flannel without a pattern and play with scissors ALL WHILE PMSING wasn’t the most brilliant of ideas.

I ended up throwing it all across the room, stomping up and down while choking back tears then breaking down to buy some off of Etsy as well as buy a Moon Cup. Screw this crafty stuff.