It’s over already?! The past few months have streaked by. I feel I did pretty good on the challenge(s). My personal routines where going really well up until these past few weeks with travel and readjusting, though. But I can feel myself sinking back into things.

I finished all the decluttering except a couple file cabinets and one closet I completely forgot existed. But now that it looks like we’ll be downsizing, I guess I have to rethink it all. Doh! It’s actually been fun to consider what we really feel an attachment to and what we’re happy to sell or give away (which is, surprisingly, most of our stuff – how did we end up with so little we really love?).

Overall, it was nice to feel focused and attentive to what I wanted to do. Although I still did my fair share of procrastinating and yes, thinking. Old habits die hard.

In an effort not to bore you with any details, I’ll keep this one short and sweet.

My time management goal is going beautifully and easy. I’ve plugged in enough tasks into what my body dictates to keep the house managed without overdoing it. As Hillary said, it’s as if I’ve slowed down time. ::deep sigh of relief::

I’m questioning my priorities as to playing the harmonica. Even when I have the time, it’s the furthest thing from my mind. I think I’m going to allow myself to drop this goal until life brings it up again. All in due time…

Most of the remaining rooms on my decluttering list are half done, making me think I have a problem with follow-through. The only rooms yet to be touched are the art room and Zeb’s room and if you were to see them, you’d understand my procrastination. I did however get all our discarded stuff in boxes so it’s not cluttering the garage. I’m waffling on the yard sale but I refuse to make any decisions on the matter more than 24 hours in advance.

How is everyone else doing on their goals?

“But if our deepest soul’s longing is to wake up and fully occupy the human life we have, and if we can do this anywhere we are willing to be fully present, what then is this incredible attachment to and preoccupation with getting the details of our life situation to conform to what we want, to what we think is necessary or ideal?

…because the consciousness that is larger than we are never forgets that it is not where we go[/are] or what we do but the level of awareness we bring to our actions that determines whether or not we are fully living our life’s purpose.” – excerpts from The Call: Discovering Why You Are Here by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

These quotes jumped out at me recently. They challenged me, as this author always challenges me. They stopped me in my tracks and forced me to listen to the aforementioned question of “Why”. Thus my goals for the Doing, Not Thinking Challenge have been turned on their head. I went into this thinking I could finally grab the bull by the horns and tackle this persistent mental upset. But no sooner than I began than my body began its most serious protests. My back pain, being the newest catalyst to my constant self-realization, insisted I pace myself. And from that nagging insistence has come a beautiful turn of events.

I gave in. That was my first move but far from my first reaction. However, I allowed myself the rest my body is demanding. I’ve taken time – an hour or more – to wake up slowly and peacefully. I sit in my garden in the cool of the morning and write and read or pray and meditate or play harmonica. Those energizing moments give me enough strength to focus on just a few tasks for the morning – gardening, a single load of laundry, a vacuumed floor – before my body insists I slow down again. So, before lunch approaches we read or play a game or color and draw together. By the time afternoon rolls around my back is insisting I relax, so I have several hours before dinner to lay on the couch with an ice pack and the laptop.

My body forced me to let go of my frenetic impulse to micro-manage my time. I had little choice but to tune in…and listen…and allow it to unfold however it dictated. And from my surrender has flowed this natural rhythm and pace to my day that is so peaceful and fulfilling that I wonder how in the world I ever felt so crazy, hectic, out of control to begin with. As I abdicate my will once again, I have to ask myself how many times must I be reminded to Let Go and allow the obvious path to unfurl and lay at my feet the direction to meander. It always does. Always. I just have to stop trying to run ahead. I just have to remember.

Decluttering has all-together been another story. Pacing myself means fractions of the time needed is actually available, so while I’ve done a tad here or a smidge there, nothing measurable has been accomplished in awhile, thus leaving me feeling frustrated and more than a little uninspired, even disgusted, with the state of my estate. Not that it is “disgusting” by the common meaning of the word. Just that I am disgusted with it. I look around and so little of it fits me. I could toss 85% of my home’s contents without feeling any serious loss. Only Justin has intervened from our home being an echoing building with nowhere to sit.

I ask myself what I want to see in this space and answer with “things”: styles or items. But when I ask myself what I want to feel in this place the replies hint of comfort and art, beauty and love, inspiration and color, music and peace. How do you go about capturing feelings, anyway?

And then in my quieter moments I read the quotes above and wonder if I’m on the wrong track again. Does/should it matter that my surroundings are not my perfect ideal? The things around me feed me or drain me; this I know. But I know I can’t be fully at peace with anything until I find peace right where I am. And looking at the space around me only one word comes to mind:

Dammit.

I feel like I’ve done a fair amount of both. Okay, probably more thinking. But I have a lot to think about. Justin is switching companies this week. He received a job offer that will last through December (as opposed to the current job ending in September). I’ve been contemplating opening up my entrepreneurial brain again with an idea I’ve been chewing on for some time (but have yet to gnaw through). And that’s just the financial side of things. As for an update on the challenge, here goes:

Goal #1 – Time Management

This has basically gone down the crapper. I’m not sure if it is because it is unrealistic of me to assume I can as easily micro-manage real life, as I could a business or if I’m just not feeling it. Perhaps all I can hope for is a personal morning routine that leaves me ready for the day, a reminder to make lunch and a well-written and noticeably displayed To-Do list for the rest of the stuff. Stick with what works for ya, right?

My mornings have been nice. I wake up early, spend time tending the garden, then escape into a shaded chair with a good book until Zeb wakes up. Lunch is still a pain – we’re never hungry ’til we’re starving, leaving us too jittery to handle a knife and too cranky to speak to each other. Ah, gotta love us hypoglycemics!

I don’t feel the computer is consuming my life anymore, though. In fact, I’ve been enjoying so many other things I have to remind myself to check my email or (gasp!) update my blog. Can you blame me? It’s June in Las Vegas and the temps have dipped to the 80′s! Who can stay inside??

Goal #2 – Harmonica

I chose my song! All My Loving by The Beatles. It’s pretty simple to play and I’m already memorizing it. I definitely need a new harp but I’m practicing with a plastic one to avoid swelling of the reed so I can put off a purchase for a bit longer.

Goal #3 – Decluttering

In the past two weeks, I finished the master bathroom, and my closet and drawers. I moved our Goodbye Pile into the garage but I need to box it better so it’s stackable and saves space.

This goal has kinda flopped because of back pain. I have a fused spine as a result of scoliosis. But even with major surgery, things are not aligned and the doctor (who has the worst staff and office management ever) thinks the lumbar discs, as well as the cartilage in my knee are degenerating. I’d know the results of the MRI if my appointment wasn’t royally screwed up. So, because of the back pain, I’ve been pretty limited on what I can do each day. I’m trying to take it easy and it’s leaving me restless and frustrated. Hopefully I’ll have answers and physical therapy soon. I started acupuncture last week, as well as chiro care. I think muscle strengthening is going to be key but I’m having a hard time doing it on my own without causing more pain.

Justin and I sat down last night to talk. He’s pretty much there too but has this amazing ability to work through it. He tried to remind me of what we were doing and could do and should focus on and I tried to convince him I was right; that it is, in fact, hopeless.

This exemplifies our opposing personalities. He’s content to “be”, while I need to “do”. I need a purpose, something to focus on and right now I’m not sure what that is. I know full well I can’t control it all but I also need to feel like part of it – like I’m doing my part. I can easily allow things to unfold if I know I did what I needed to do. It’s not all control issues, I promise. I just like to be in the mix, working and feeling useful. Justin has his purpose. I feel much more idle. And yet unmotivated.

We talked about my going back to work as a massage therapist. We also talked about just up and moving. But neither of us really feels as though the timing is right for either. And I just keep reminding myself to be patient and work on what I can, without a lot of money. I’ve been hitting Freecycle and Craigslist for some things we’ve been needing/wanting for the yard and have hit some luck. I’m still working on getting out of the funk, however.

Onward with my thoughts and off the subject of what can’t be done…

[For details on the challenge, click the photo.]

Goal #1 – Time Management

Routines - My routines are going “okay” but it’s frustrating how one little hiccup in plans can mess up the flow. I’m working on getting back into the swing. Justin told me if I meal plan for the grill, he’ll make dinner every single night. I’ll be working on June’s meal plan this weekend.

Time Wasters – I scheduled the cloth toilet paper post in advance so I was able to take a good five days off from the computer, something I really needed. That gave us time to accomplish some yard tasks over the weekend and spend a lot of time together. I’ve been doing good about managing my online time by not getting sucked into endless article after post after video.

Things That Matter – We’ve been playing a lot of games together and even went to a drum circle last Sunday. I’ve been reading so many good books (need to update my nightstand widget!) and spending time outside. Things have been pretty relaxed and easy-going this past week, despite my funk these last couple days.

Goal #2 – Harmonica

Nada. I don’t think I touched it more than moving it around in my purse while I search for my keys. Dangit.

Goal #3 – Decluttering

I cleaned out our game/homebrew/coat closet. The coats and beer found a new home. The games were sorted and put away properly and duplicates added to the Goodbye Pile. I moved the small media shelves from the living room, so that all our video games and movies now share the closet with our board games and card decks. Total score! Having all the fun stuff together has reminded Zeb what has been hiding behind the clutter. He’s been pulling out favorite and forgotten games and we’ve been having loads of fun.

In an attempt to manage my upcoming week better and feel more purposeful, I’m planning in advance:

• Time Mgmt: The night before, plan out my next day so I can wake up feeling like I have a purpose that day.
• Harmonica: Settle on a damn song already. Decide whether I really need a new harp by testing out the other two lower quality harps we have. If necessary, buy it already and practice after dinner.
• Decluttering: Finish decluttering both bathrooms and our bedroom closets. They are all small jobs and it shouldn’t take me so long to finish them. I’m going to pretend we are going to live in a tiny yurt within a month and be ruthless with my purging. I’m also going to find a better place for my Goodbye/Garage Sale Pile.

[For more info on this challenge, click the photo. My last update was here.]

Goal #1 – Time Management

Routines:  The heat was really taking out of me most of this week. But with the AC now on, I find myself to be much more energetic and efficient with my time. Still focusing on my mornings, since they really set the tone for my day. I’m getting up between 5-5:30 as soon as the sky begins to lighten. I’m also getting laundry washed and on the line by 6:30 to avoid standing in the sun.

Time Wasters: I feel like singing! My dishwasher is working!! I did several loads of dishes, adding a cup of baking soda in the beginning and a cup of vinegar about 10 minutes in. It fizzed all through the pipes (or so I’d like to imagine) and is cleaning much better. I can’t tell you how much time this has freed. I almost don’t know what to do with myself after dinner anymore.

Goal #2 – Harmonica

Okay, I guess I could spend my after dinner time practicing my harmonica. Haven’t done more than a few breathing (train) exercises all week. I have begun to carry it in my purse to practice on the road, but I usually forget. I think I need a new reed which basically means a whole new harp. I got over 100 free songs from this website and I’m still debating on changing my song. I really like Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain but it’s awfully sad.

Goal #3 – Decluttering

I spent Tuesday emptying out my laundry room, sorting through it all (what belonged somewhere else, what I could get rid of, etc), cleaning the walls, baseboards and floors and rearranging what was left. I’d still like to pull the washer and dryer out and clean behind and beneath them. But it feels really good to open that door now. It’s tempting to think about painting the room but I think I’m just going to focus on decluttering for now.

I actually have two goals during this challenge. My first goal is time management. Things feel so hectic these days and I’m really needing a steadier rhythm to my life. I’m not only trying to get it all done, but also find the right time to do it all. I’d like to manage my time in such a way that leaves me less bewildered at where the minutes flew, as well as more available for Justin and Zeb during their day. I’ve found if I’m online before lunch, it messes up my whole day but taking care of it all in the afternoon takes away from prime family time and using it after dinner usually means I’m up too late. I still have a lot to think about with this one…

My second goal is to purge my home of unneeded or unused “stuff” and have a yard sale by the end of the challenge. I’m *not* a yard sale person – most stuff goes to Goodwill – but we are still trying to cushion our savings as much as we can. The main purpose of this goal is to SIMPLIFY our home. I’ve started thinking about all the ways in which we may be living in the coming years if Justin is laid off or we move and all of it includes a much smaller space. So I plan to go through each room of our house and filter what we really truly will use in the long-term and what we can do without – sort of a way to prepare us for the future. I also want to reorganize what we’ll be keeping to make things more efficient.

The ironic part to all this is that I already know how to do this! I had a home-based business. I was the epitome of organizational, clutter-free time management skills. So, I’m really just using this challenge as a way to tap back in and apply what I know in different ways. I’ll post what I’m doing periodically and I’ll probably redo my lists to the right to reflect all this. You can check out Two Frog Home or join the challenge by clicking the photo above. Anyone else playing along?

P.S. Hillary wrote a wonderful post on unschooling and knowledge. Check it out here: The Essence of Great Knowledge

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