Posts Tagged "ego-fear"

The More I Know Myself, The Less I Care

The more I know myself, really and deeply know my Self, the less I’m finding I care… I don’t care what I look like. I don’t care that I make mistakes. I don’t care that my thoughts go off on wild, unhelpful tangents. I don’t care that I get afraid or triggered. I don’t care to spend so much time Digging Deep. (Gasp! I know!) The more I know myself, the less I find I care about others too… I don’t care what others think of me. I don’t care if they agree or disagree with me. I don’t have endless opinions or fears on the choices they make either. And I don’t care if I’m accepted or rejected. (Yes, despite my equally strong drive to not blindly follow the norm, this was very much a big thing for me.) I just don’t have the energy anymore, let alone the…

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Crazy Moments are Just Crazy Moments (A Message From My Past Self)

Pssst! I’ve got a brand new e-guide coming out on December 9th. Signup for my newsletter to get first dibs! I love when I write things on my blog or Facebook or elsewhere in this case, only to find them a week, a month, 6 months later and at just the right time. It’s like wisdom to myself, from myself, and always in the perfect timing. This happened to me awhile back. Skype wasn’t working for a very important parenting e-course interview, with a very important person. I was swimming in my own triggers of “not being good enough” after some hoped-for cash didn’t come in. I was coming off a meltdown over improperly buttered toast. Yeah, it wasn’t good. Then I got an email from myself, something I had scheduled a year before when I was feeling a lot of exhaustion and hoping it was coming to an end…

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The only blog post in which I can talk about Rocky Horror Picture Show and the Ego in one breath (okay, maybe two)

This little piece of fringe culture has been on my Bucket List for like, 87 years. Literally. Or it was on my Bucket List. Because we went recently and it was beyond epic. We sat out in the cold. We threw rice. We yelled profanities. And Justin even did the Time Warp (happily he has no rhythm, which made it that much better). This weekend I’m getting my nose re-pierced. Something I’ve been wanting to do for nearly a flipping decade since I took my last one out. Next spring I’m doing something so beyond epic that it makes me giddy and terror-stricken 4 months in advance. (I’m going to fly a glider plane. Yes, Mom. A GLIDER plane!) These are just a few of the 31 things I wanted to do in the past 49.5 weeks.  (The whole – mostly unfinished lol – list is here.) Last year I…

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One Bag of Tricks = One Thankful Stranger (and a whole lot of emotion)

It’s crazy how much this topic makes my heart pound and my stomach clench. My body was betraying me when it all went down yesterday and it has done it every time I think about it since, most especially as I try to relate it all to you. Obviously there are some things to DIG IN to here for me. It all went down yesterday at Target. Zeb and I had just left our mama-son move date (Thor, if you’re curious) and were looking at bedroom furniture ideas for his new room, but of course that meant a detour through the LEGO/YuGiOh section of the toy department first. As we’re standing there looking at droids, and speeders, and things I can’t remember the name of to save my life, I heard a tiny little guy from one aisle over crying loudly. Now as a mama, my heart aches when any…

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Upside Down Makes More Sense

their story is a cautionary tale a monsoon thunderstorm dropping a deluge on the desert bristling with electricity most storms move fast this one crept over whispering, “Some things you learn best in the calm. No two storms are the same. No two skies are either, so watch closely.” so I let go and found it all upside down and suddenly making sense Have you ever had that sense? That everything is upside and off from the ways in which you thought it should be, and yet – without being able to articulate a damn word of it – you knew it all made sense. This is the fact of Life. It all makes sense. Always. But what throws us around is our ideas of what should be. Our thoughts. Our expectations. Our demands. Swirling and upheaving the whole delicate balance of Nature, of our Nature. It’s terrifying to let…

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