Our 4th Unschooling Anniversary (And Growth)

Getting Ready

Swing High

Flying Boy

I love unschooling. I know that probably goes without saying, but it’s good for me to be reminded sometimes. :)

Yesterday was our fourth unschooling anniversary. Four years ago we made one choice that changed our world. And today I’m reminded just how phenomenal and empowering a choice it was. See, I don’t love unschooling because of its “results.”

I love unschooling because of what it gives us: freedom, space to heal and the courage to live passionately.

Four years ago, I stood before a child that was angry and sad. I stood before him with questions about how to help him and how to ignite the interests he once had. I was worried that he no longer loved to read or wanted to play with numbers or patterns.

Our life was anxious and nervous and uncertain.

In school he felt a lot of pressure to perform, took to heart anything that sounded like criticism, and became paralyzed by fear of failure. Even things he enjoyed and excelled in were avoided.

Reading was one of those things.

Although we had been reading since he was an infant, although he was excited to learn to do it on his own, and although he picked up on it quickly and easily, he was before me declaring his hatred for books. With pressure, judgment and limitations placed on him his loved for books suffered.

But unschooling changes those things.

Living outside school gave us the freedom to be ourselves, the space to heal our wounds and the courage to live passionately.

As I type this today, four years later, I’m sitting beside my 11 year old as he writes his first novel. And it’s not just any novel; he’s writing an epic fantasy novel.

My heart is so big and happy right now. :) I wish there was a smiley with it’s eyes closed and it’s face basking in the sun. Because that’s how I feel, as though I’m basking in the glow of a beautiful life.

My son is writing a novel. And I’m not concerned with any of the details, the grammar or spelling or “doing it right”. I’m not even concerned if he doesn’t make it past the second chapter (because he’s already finished the first…and it was Oh.So.Good).

I’m concerned with feeding his passion and his desire to want to do something So Big, so outside his usual comfort zone.

I’m concerned with supporting his sense of empowerment, as he chooses to do something that conventional wisdom wouldn’t expect from him.

I’m concerned with helping him feel the potential within him, to know he CAN, even if he chooses not to.

I’m concerned with his sense of freedom, giving him the space to grow and feeding his courage to live passionately.

Because those are the things that nurture a personal definition of success.

Those are the things that change things.

Inspiration Monday – Rest and Relaxation

I Love Mail

I love mail. I got this gorgeous care package from the lovely Lauren Luquin. It came with an herbal dream pillow, medicine animal-inspired art postcards, sea salts and teas all dedicated to rest, calm and rejuvenation.

Yes, she sent exactly what I’ve been needing. :)

I’ve been tired but it’s a good tired; a happy tired. I put a lot of energy into my new green living site and my body asked for some time to relax in return. (Demanded would be more like it.) So, I acquiesced. I tried to relax, get caught up on some non-work related tasks, to take a deep breath in, spend time with the people I love and feed my creativity.

That lasted about half a day. ;)

Yup, I’m learning I’m a little antsy without a project underway. (And I’m not yet sure how I feel about that!)

But I have good guys, good friends, good food and good times to remind me to slow down. I have a sweet herbal dream pillow that I swear is responsible for how well I slept last night. And I have yummy herbal teas to start my day (thank you Lauren!).

Life is beautiful.

Some inspiration from my week:

What’s been inspiring you?

Leave a comment here or link your own blog post in the form below!

Rethinking Everything (And Being On Stage)

The Rethinking Everything Conference was amazing. This was our 3rd “unschooling” conference, but this one was so much more than unschooling. It’s that whole-life unschooling thing we were talking about, applying these principles to every area of your life.

There were workshops, talks and discussions on everything from parenting and education to health, work, sustainable housing, travel, barefooting and more. There were funshops for shaving cream sculptures, taking apart electronics, gaming, wand making, Lego, copeira, fencing, salsa dancing and hooping. We even took part in a documentary!

But the best part of any conference is the community. For five days we took over the conference center; we created our own village in the middle of Fort Worth. And we thrived in the atmosphere of love, acceptance, authenticity and cooperation. It was amazing and difficult to leave.

I can’t even begin to describe to you what we took away from the weekend: so many self-realizations, new friendships and amazing levels of awareness. Our minds and hearts expanded so many times that we were practically vibratingat the end of each day. It’s something you must experience to understand, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Instead I’m going to share just one small moment of the weekend. Three short minutes in which I pushed myself to do something completely outside my comfort zone.

26. Be on stage.

I have a really hard time under a spot light. Whether it’s calling into a radio show or being called on in class, I always feel the same jittering, stomach-flopping, heart-racing nerves threatening to twist me up. And I am ready to get over that.

Yeah, I freaking did it. I hooped on stage. And I learned a few things about myself too.

  1. When I’m nervous I have to pee. Like 17 times. In an hour.
  2. I take things way too seriously.
  3. I’m incredibly hard on myself.

I worked myself up until I was positively jittering. Which of course means I dropped my hoop twice (one of them hitting my own child in the head). And then I forgot at least half of what I wanted to actually do. And then I proceeded to tear myself down afterward.

But if you’re going to push yourself to do something new and challenging that scares the piss out of you, there is no better crowd than that loving, accepting one I mentioned above. While I was busy watching my taped performance, criticizing myself and feeling like crap, no less than 5 people walked up to tell me how amazing it was. And over the next two days I heard the same from a dozen more. I had somehow amazed and inspired them, adults and kids. It didn’t mattered that I had dropped the hoop or forgotten my moves or shook from nerves. I had still had fun and inspired others to do the same.

Okay, so are you ready to see it? Promise not to laugh? Alright, here goes….5 months of hooping and a really fun song (I Don’t Mind by Imagine Dragons) and this is what you get:

First Hooping “Performance” from Tara Wagner on Vimeo.

No, I’m not satisfied. And I won’t be until I can get up there and not feel nervous. I’m going to keep doing this; pushing myself. Because even when it doesn’t, it still feels so amazing. I may not hoop next time, but you will see me up there again.

Inspiration Monday – The Most Stars

The Most Stars (I've Ever Seen)

#2 on my list of 28 Things is “Stand Under More Stars Than I’ve Ever Seen”.

A few weeks ago, this was a panic point. Justin and Zeb were standing outside in Wisconsin and admiring the stars. I couldn’t see what they were talking about. Even with my glasses on I just couldn’t make out more than a slightly hazy sky.

I was feeling beyond bummed about the whole thing – would I really never see a sky full of stars?! Was I doomed to the Big Dipper only?

Then I stumbled across an article in a small health publication. It stated that visions problems may all be in my head. (No pun intended.)

Hmm, it was certainly worth a try. And since my glasses had seen an unfortunate meeting involving a closet door, it wasn’t like I was dying to wear them scratched and slightly bent. So I started going without my glasses and telling myself my vision was improving every day.

Now I have no idea if they are quantifiably “better”, but I do know I spent a long night last week searching for constellations and meteors with Zeb, and sitting mesmerized under the most amazing smattering of stars I’ve ever seen. :D

Truly one of the most inspiring nights I’ve had…

Would you like to join in Inspiration Mondays?

It can be a story, quote, or excerpt; a piece of art you made, a pair of earrings you love or a list of links to fantastic articles that left you in awe.

Submit your blog post link below (adding this link in your post)
or share your inspiration in the comments!

Current Location: Dallas, TX for the Rethinking Everything Conference!

On Our Way South and Dancing Rabbit

Working our way from Madison to Dallas took some time. We stopped at six places along the way (two of them overnights in the middle of somewhere), meeting new friends, scoping out new towns and trying not to feel rushed (which we still felt).

Our first stop after Madison was Wisconsin Dells, home of America’s Largest Water Park. We spent our honeymoon amusement park hopping; it seemed only fitting that we celebrated 10 years together with water park hopping. :)

It wasn’t a perfect two days: Zeb crashed on his bike, my dreads gave me whiplash, we got all turned around on an incredibly long bike ride to and from the park and it was pretty darn cold. But it was still an amazing two days!

Decorah Springs

After the Dells, we left Wisconsin behind and headed into Iowa where we stopped to meet two new fiends, Niki and Toast in Decorah. They showed us around the many natural springs and beautiful countryside and we enjoyed the Vesterheim Museum, as well (Vesterheim is Norwegian for “western home,” what many of Norway’s emigrants called America…or Amerika.) We really enjoyed the small town feel mixed with the sustainable and artistic communities and plan to do some more research on the area.

Leaving Decorah, we headed toward Missouri with a short overnight stop with a Jen in southern Iowa, where we enjoyed yummy food and awesome conversation way too late into the night.

Tereza and Justin at Red Earth

School Bus Home

Earth Bag Home

DR Guys

Then to the serious highlight along our path: Dancing Rabbit Eco-Village in Northern Missouri!

Oh my goodness, how amazing! Our minds are still reverberating with the information we tried to take in and process in our short two-night stay.

We were invited by Tereza, a 10 year resident, and I couldn’t be more thankful she emailed us. She was so gracious as to show us around, describing how everything worked and answering all our questions.

Dancing Rabbit is actually one of three eco-villages in the area, each doing things slightly different. It is also the largest. While Dancing Rabbit is cooperatively and closely built, Red Earth just a short walk away has a slightly more “homestead” feel to it, although still very community-oriented. (The third, which we didn’t have time to tour, is a more communal, income-sharing arrangement.)

We were especially intrigued with how Dancing Rabbit works:

  • DR is built on a land trust and through government grants. This makes living their very affordable for Rabbits and residents, who each pay a small price depending on the size of their “property”.
  • The diversity of their sustainable building is fantastic and inspiring! Anything from school buses to strawbale to Earth bag.
  • Each person/family commits to certain covenants and guidelines, similar to how a Home Owners Association works.
  • You can come and go as you please, and even sell your property to someone else. But it’s up to the community as a whole to “approve” new residents and members.
  • You’re not required to live communally in any way, except for agreeing to not have a car and thus participating in the car sharing. That being said there are lots of other cool co-ops which were intriguing, like a phone co-op or a kitchen co-op.
  • Both Dancing Rabbit and what we saw of Red Earth Farms seemed very comfortable, community-oriented and family-friendly.

Justin really liked Red Earth Farms the best. Each home was more spread out but still within close proximity to form strong community ties. And he really likes the independence it affords its members. I was really torn between the two. I liked the feeling of a close-knit town, but also really appreciate the ability to be more reclusive. Zeb had fun playing with the kids but wasn’t really sure what to think of the rest.

You can view a few more Dancing Rabbit photos here.

Our thoughts overall: If our experience at Ironwood Farm taught us anything it’s that we don’t want to go at something like that alone. Living within a community of like-minded families, all who agree to some same basic principles, really appeals to us right now. Knowing we have a support system, friends to share with, and social connections is really the only way to have a truly sustainable community. The scale of such community is something we still aren’t sure of, but this is certainly an idea we’ll be putting a lot more thought and discussion into in the future. Perhaps an intentional community of nomadic families? Or maybe just a caravan on the road? :)

If you’re interested in finding a nearby intentional community to learn more from, visit Intentional Communities online.