I love unschooling. I know that probably goes without saying, but it’s good for me to be reminded sometimes.

Yesterday was our fourth unschooling anniversary. Four years ago we made one choice that changed our world. And today I’m reminded just how phenomenal and empowering a choice it was. See, I don’t love unschooling because of its “results.”

I love unschooling because of what it gives us: freedom, space to heal and the courage to live passionately.

Four years ago, I stood before a child that was angry and sad. I stood before him with questions about how to help him and how to ignite the interests he once had. I was worried that he no longer loved to read or wanted to play with numbers or patterns.

Our life was anxious and nervous and uncertain.

In school he felt a lot of pressure to perform, took to heart anything that sounded like criticism, and became paralyzed by fear of failure. Even things he enjoyed and excelled in were avoided.

Reading was one of those things.

Although we had been reading since he was an infant, although he was excited to learn to do it on his own, and although he picked up on it quickly and easily, he was before me declaring his hatred for books. With pressure, judgment and limitations placed on him his loved for books suffered.

But unschooling changes those things.

Living outside school gave us the freedom to be ourselves, the space to heal our wounds and the courage to live passionately.

As I type this today, four years later, I’m sitting beside my 11 year old as he writes his first novel. And it’s not just any novel; he’s writing an epic fantasy novel.

My heart is so big and happy right now. I wish there was a smiley with it’s eyes closed and it’s face basking in the sun. Because that’s how I feel, as though I’m basking in the glow of a beautiful life.

My son is writing a novel. And I’m not concerned with any of the details, the grammar or spelling or “doing it right”. I’m not even concerned if he doesn’t make it past the second chapter (because he’s already finished the first…and it was Oh.So.Good).

I’m concerned with feeding his passion and his desire to want to do something So Big, so outside his usual comfort zone.

I’m concerned with supporting his sense of empowerment, as he chooses to do something that conventional wisdom wouldn’t expect from him.

I’m concerned with helping him feel the potential within him, to know he CAN, even if he chooses not to.

I’m concerned with his sense of freedom, giving him the space to grow and feeding his courage to live passionately.

Because those are the things that nurture a personal definition of success.

Those are the things that change things.

I love mail. I got this gorgeous care package from the lovely Lauren Luquin. It came with an herbal dream pillow, medicine animal-inspired art postcards, sea salts and teas all dedicated to rest, calm and rejuvenation.

Yes, she sent exactly what I’ve been needing.

I’ve been tired but it’s a good tired; a happy tired. I put a lot of energy into my new green living site and my body asked for some time to relax in return. (Demanded would be more like it.) So, I acquiesced. I tried to relax, get caught up on some non-work related tasks, to take a deep breath in, spend time with the people I love and feed my creativity.

That lasted about half a day.

Yup, I’m learning I’m a little antsy without a project underway. (And I’m not yet sure how I feel about that!)

But I have good guys, good friends, good food and good times to remind me to slow down. I have a sweet herbal dream pillow that I swear is responsible for how well I slept last night. And I have yummy herbal teas to start my day (thank you Lauren!).

Life is beautiful.

Some inspiration from my week:

• Beautiful creations.
• A phrase that irks me. (Especially when I catch myself saying it! Yuck!)
• Interesting short video
• Lovelovelove!
• A friend introduced me to her version of these.
• Thinking about another round of this.
• A sweet tune.
• A beautiful reminder.
• I think I’m in love with her voice.
• Something to think about.
• And I’m SO inspired by the response to the Great Big Giveaway! (There’s still time to enter!)

What’s been inspiring you?

Leave a comment here or link your own blog post in the form below!

There were workshops, talks and discussions on everything from parenting and education to health, work, sustainable housing, travel, barefooting and more. There were funshops for shaving cream sculptures, taking apart electronics, gaming, wand making, Lego, copeira, fencing, salsa dancing and hooping. We even took part in a documentary!

But the best part of any conference is the community. For five days we took over the conference center; we created our own village in the middle of Fort Worth. And we thrived in the atmosphere of love, acceptance, authenticity and cooperation. It was amazing and difficult to leave.

I can’t even begin to describe to you what we took away from the weekend: so many self-realizations, new friendships and amazing levels of awareness. Our minds and hearts expanded so many times that we were practically vibratingat the end of each day. It’s something you must experience to understand, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Instead I’m going to share just one small moment of the weekend. Three short minutes in which I pushed myself to do something completely outside my comfort zone.

26. Be on stage.

I have a really hard time under a spot light. Whether it’s calling into a radio show or being called on in class, I always feel the same jittering, stomach-flopping, heart-racing nerves threatening to twist me up. And I am ready to get over that.

Yeah, I freaking did it. I hooped on stage. And I learned a few things about myself too.

1. When I’m nervous I have to pee. Like 17 times. In an hour.
2. I take things way too seriously.
3. I’m incredibly hard on myself.

I worked myself up until I was positively jittering. Which of course means I dropped my hoop twice (one of them hitting my own child in the head). And then I forgot at least half of what I wanted to actually do. And then I proceeded to tear myself down afterward.

But if you’re going to push yourself to do something new and challenging that scares the piss out of you, there is no better crowd than that loving, accepting one I mentioned above. While I was busy watching my taped performance, criticizing myself and feeling like crap, no less than 5 people walked up to tell me how amazing it was. And over the next two days I heard the same from a dozen more. I had somehow amazed and inspired them, adults and kids. It didn’t mattered that I had dropped the hoop or forgotten my moves or shook from nerves. I had still had fun and inspired others to do the same.

Okay, so are you ready to see it? Promise not to laugh? Alright, here goes….5 months of hooping and a really fun song (I Don’t Mind by Imagine Dragons) and this is what you get:

First Hooping “Performance” from Tara Wagner on Vimeo.

No, I’m not satisfied. And I won’t be until I can get up there and not feel nervous. I’m going to keep doing this; pushing myself. Because even when it doesn’t, it still feels so amazing. I may not hoop next time, but you will see me up there again.

#2 on my list of 28 Things is “Stand Under More Stars Than I’ve Ever Seen”.

A few weeks ago, this was a panic point. Justin and Zeb were standing outside in Wisconsin and admiring the stars. I couldn’t see what they were talking about. Even with my glasses on I just couldn’t make out more than a slightly hazy sky.

I was feeling beyond bummed about the whole thing – would I really never see a sky full of stars?! Was I doomed to the Big Dipper only?

Then I stumbled across an article in a small health publication. It stated that visions problems may all be in my head. (No pun intended.)

Hmm, it was certainly worth a try. And since my glasses had seen an unfortunate meeting involving a closet door, it wasn’t like I was dying to wear them scratched and slightly bent. So I started going without my glasses and telling myself my vision was improving every day.

Now I have no idea if they are quantifiably “better”, but I do know I spent a long night last week searching for constellations and meteors with Zeb, and sitting mesmerized under the most amazing smattering of stars I’ve ever seen.

Truly one of the most inspiring nights I’ve had…

Would you like to join in Inspiration Mondays?

It can be a story, quote, or excerpt; a piece of art you made, a pair of earrings you love or a list of links to fantastic articles that left you in awe.

Submit your blog post link below (adding this link in your post)
or share your inspiration in the comments!

Current Location: Dallas, TX for the Rethinking Everything Conference!

Our first stop after Madison was Wisconsin Dells, home of America’s Largest Water Park. We spent our honeymoon amusement park hopping; it seemed only fitting that we celebrated 10 years together with water park hopping.

It wasn’t a perfect two days: Zeb crashed on his bike, my dreads gave me whiplash, we got all turned around on an incredibly long bike ride to and from the park and it was pretty darn cold. But it was still an amazing two days!

After the Dells, we left Wisconsin behind and headed into Iowa where we stopped to meet two new fiends, Niki and Toast in Decorah. They showed us around the many natural springs and beautiful countryside and we enjoyed the Vesterheim Museum, as well (Vesterheim is Norwegian for “western home,” what many of Norway’s emigrants called America…or Amerika.) We really enjoyed the small town feel mixed with the sustainable and artistic communities and plan to do some more research on the area.

Leaving Decorah, we headed toward Missouri with a short overnight stop with a Jen in southern Iowa, where we enjoyed yummy food and awesome conversation way too late into the night.

Then to the serious highlight along our path: Dancing Rabbit Eco-Village in Northern Missouri!

Oh my goodness, how amazing! Our minds are still reverberating with the information we tried to take in and process in our short two-night stay.

We were invited by Tereza, a 10 year resident, and I couldn’t be more thankful she emailed us. She was so gracious as to show us around, describing how everything worked and answering all our questions.

Dancing Rabbit is actually one of three eco-villages in the area, each doing things slightly different. It is also the largest. While Dancing Rabbit is cooperatively and closely built, Red Earth just a short walk away has a slightly more “homestead” feel to it, although still very community-oriented. (The third, which we didn’t have time to tour, is a more communal, income-sharing arrangement.)

We were especially intrigued with how Dancing Rabbit works:

• DR is built on a land trust and through government grants. This makes living their very affordable for Rabbits and residents, who each pay a small price depending on the size of their “property”.
• The diversity of their sustainable building is fantastic and inspiring! Anything from school buses to strawbale to Earth bag.
• Each person/family commits to certain covenants and guidelines, similar to how a Home Owners Association works.
• You can come and go as you please, and even sell your property to someone else. But it’s up to the community as a whole to “approve” new residents and members.
• You’re not required to live communally in any way, except for agreeing to not have a car and thus participating in the car sharing. That being said there are lots of other cool co-ops which were intriguing, like a phone co-op or a kitchen co-op.
• Both Dancing Rabbit and what we saw of Red Earth Farms seemed very comfortable, community-oriented and family-friendly.

Justin really liked Red Earth Farms the best. Each home was more spread out but still within close proximity to form strong community ties. And he really likes the independence it affords its members. I was really torn between the two. I liked the feeling of a close-knit town, but also really appreciate the ability to be more reclusive. Zeb had fun playing with the kids but wasn’t really sure what to think of the rest.

You can view a few more Dancing Rabbit photos here.

Our thoughts overall: If our experience at Ironwood Farm taught us anything it’s that we don’t want to go at something like that alone. Living within a community of like-minded families, all who agree to some same basic principles, really appeals to us right now. Knowing we have a support system, friends to share with, and social connections is really the only way to have a truly sustainable community. The scale of such community is something we still aren’t sure of, but this is certainly an idea we’ll be putting a lot more thought and discussion into in the future. Perhaps an intentional community of nomadic families? Or maybe just a caravan on the road?

If you’re interested in finding a nearby intentional community to learn more from, visit Intentional Communities online.

After La Crosse, we headed back across Wisconsin to a small town an hour outside Green Bay. Zeb’s Gramma flew into town and we met her at her brother’s home for five beautiful days.

Tom and Mary live on a beautiful beach lake. We happened to reach them just as the weather cooled down. It could not have been a more serene setting.

We spent the first day playing with cousins, eating yummy food (they had a plethora of yummy gluten-free foods just for me!) and enjoying the water.

The next day was much the same: tubing, boating, playing in the sand, hooping, eating, chatting.

The third day was spent in one of Justin’s favorite places: Lambeau Stadium! We toured the stadium, inside and out. By far the most memorable part was walking through the players’ tunnel. As you start to walk down the door opens, you hear insane cheering and the announcer introduces “the team”. It was hilarious and exciting to have a taste of what the players must experience as they come out on the field.

The fourth day was spent on the lake again. This time we also did a bit of birding and actually saw a American Bald Eagle! I can’t describe how beautiful and majestic this bird was; a very powerful site to see. Zeb had even seen the nest on an earlier boat ride; apparently the nests are about 5 feet in diameter!

The day to leave came too soon. I was worried that Zeb would have a difficult time saying goodbye, like he did in Nashville. But he was impressively calm. Perhaps knowing we would see her again in a few short months for the holidays helped…or maybe, as he said, he’s just getting older. Either way it’s amazing to see so much change in him these past few months. He’s just such an amazing kid.

More photos from our time on the lake can be found here.

Current Location: Heading into Decorah, Iowa today through Saturday!

Bench Monday – Not Back To School Edition:
No shoes, no school, no limits on where we can go!

For many of us parents, it’s that time of year again: uncrowded museums and theaters, awesome off-season travel deals and great prices on art supplies and notebooks.

Yup! It’s NOT Back To School Time!

Just like last year, we’re having a Twitter party for unschooling and homeschooling families not wanting to be left out of the late summer commotion. For the next three Mondays (today, Aug 31, and Sept 6) we’re going to work at trending #notbacktoschool. Last year we had all kinds of funny updates, awesome quotes and incredible links – talk about inspiring!

Want to join in? Here are some of the inspiring examples already up:

• Headed out #notbacktoschool shopping. The list: hair dye and a laundry bag. via @hmsdragonfly
• We r sleepin in, then having pancakes, then making a Happy NBTS collage for the playroom via @angsmg
• We are living in a Butterfly Wonderland today! Monarchs, Swallowtails, Admirals & more sipping from our Cup Plants’ nectar! via @innerwizdom
• “School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need the society as it is.” -Ivan Illich via @Idzie
• Just made our to-do list for today, full of fun things. And we can change it whenever we want to. via @serendipitymama
• “Man’s mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.”~Oliver Wendell Holmes via @AutodidactMama
• Everyone sleeping in, following their natural body clocks for #notbacktoschool Monday via @luckiebyrd
• E7 is gathering his $. Looking up nerf guns online. Figuring out which are good deals. Such passion via @faithvoid
• Today? We’re taking it easy, sorting legos, and eating gorgeous organic watermelon the farmer picked for us himself. via @LaureenH
• So glad to not be fighting the crowds of folks dropping off little people into little boxes via @italsista
• “By nature people are learning animals. Birds fly; fish swim; humans think and learn.” ~John Holt via @NjoyLifeUnskuln

To follow along the madness this year, click here!

Would you like to join in Inspiration Mondays?

No need to follow any rules; it’s just a fun, no-obligation sharing of whatever inspires you.

You can share a link, story, quote or excerpt; it can be a piece of art you made or a pair of earrings you love or a fantastic article. Share a link to your own post or inspiration in the comments!

Do it however you’d like, just tell me: what’s been inspiring you?

[Current location: Madison, WI heading to the Dells!]

Zeb took a serious interest in the Jr Ranger Program offered through our National Parks while we were in Indiana. Our first park and his first badge has come from Lincoln National Park in Southern Indiana. According to his age, he was required to finish five pages of the program and a list of tasks that included hikes, visiting the living memorials of Lincoln’s Boy Hood Memorial and watching a short film.

We were excited to see him so eagerly embrace and accomplish something that not long ago would have caused him to panic, bringing up negative memories of school papers and the pressure to perform. He was gung-ho passionate and an unstoppable answer-figuring machine.

That’s likely why I was taken aback when the ranger called him an “overachiever” because of his finishing more pages than necessary for his age group.

The term “overachiever” has such a negative connotation to it. Despite knowing it was only a playful conversation on the ranger’s part and in no means meant offensively, it set my thoughts swirling anyway. Because let’s face it, overachiever is not much of a compliment. And here was my son, excitedly devouring something of interest to him and being labeled for it.

The True Definition of an Overachiever

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of “overachiever” is a simple one: to perform better than expected.

At first glance it doesn’t seem negative (I won’t even broach my feelings on the word “perform”). But its implications and the manner in which is it generally used certainly does:

• First, the definition itself implies someone didn’t really expect much from you. This likely means they don’t see you possessing any number of positive qualities: intelligence, motivation, or persistence to see something through, to name a few. This is sometimes a general statement (i.e. many adults don’t really expect much of teens) or it could be related to subject matter (perhaps the material seemed above your capability level). Either way it doesn’t say much for you, if you are the person in question.
• It can imply the subject matter may not have been interesting in the first place. We simply don’t expect much from a person who is doing something we ourselves think is boring or pointless. And when they do, we’re not going to believe it had to do with passion; we’re going to blame it on pretention. Which leads me to my next point….
• It smacks of a personal attack. Let’s get real: When the term “overachiever” is used, it’s commonly a way to call a person a brownnoser, a kiss-up, a teacher’s pet or say they are a pretentious show-off or a know-it-all. We tend to put these types of people in the same category as tattle-tales, whiners or liars. Why? Because a passionate pursuit of anything feels really alarming, even threatening, especially when we lack our own passionate pursuit. Which is why….
• It’s too easily used to vilify a person or their passions. Every person I’ve heard called an overachiever was simply a truly interested person. They loved the information they were acquiring and they ate up anything they could find on the matter. They went above and beyond what they were required to do because unlike others, they actually loved what they were doing. This is why overachievers are seen as threatening. Passion sets a pretty high bar and for someone uninterested, who the hell wants to rise to a challenge they dislike? Who wants to do more of something that bores them, or that they downright hate? And who wants to be reminded of the fact they are doing it in the first place?

Vilifying Interests

We, as a culture, tend to vilify interests. We tell bookworms to get their nose out of a book and jocks to pick one up. We tell nerds to get off the computer and dinosaurs to get with the times.

We label energetic kids as ADD but don’t allow them to focus on the video game that is holding their attention. We call interested kids overachievers then get upset when they aren’t achieving the goals we set for them.

We pull them away from their games, their friends, their activities, and their interests because we feel they’ve had enough, done too much or need to do something else.

We don’t allow them to specialize; we only allow for superficial dabbling. Not too much of anything, just a little bit of everything. A sampling, a smattering, but let’s not get greedy over any one thing.

The honest truth: We don’t like passion. It scares us. Plain and simple.

Passion is a threat to our carefully contrived societies that rely on the mindless droning on of things we loathe. We insist on insisting that life is meant to be hard. That we were meant to work, not play; dread, not enjoy.

And as adults we keep ourselves stuck there, feeling guilty when we have wild, hilarious fun doing what we love.

It’s a Suffer vs Laughter mentality and it’s a lie.

We know a passionate person will continue to seek passion. But we’ve been told passion leads to self-absorption, laziness, pride, selfishness, and that doing what you love means neglecting all else. And things like that lead to murder, rape, theft…a complete breakdown of our social fabric.

Do you get it? We’re told to disregard our passions, even dislike life, for the betterment of society.

We’re told to be miserable so that we can all be happy.

But passions don’t break us down; they fill us up. They fill us with joy and when our hearts are full our cup overflows with generosity.

We simply cannot give what we do not have. Without a true passion of our own, we can’t support the passion (or heartache) of others. We can’t give freely of ourselves when we have nothing worth giving. We can’t convince the depressed there is reason to live without first seeing it ourselves.

Without a fulfilling passion, we can’t create a social fabric free from the fear of torn edges. Without the passionate pursuit of life, we simply can’t justify its purpose.

Owning the Overachiever

Oh, yes I’ve been called an overachiever. I’ve even owned a little shirt with a gold star on the front that proudly proclaimed Overachiever across my chest. And I couldn’t be more pleased that my son is seen as an overachiever as well.

Why am I so happy over what I clearly just spelled out as being not only defined as but implying a negative?

Because I propose a radical new approach to the term overachiever.

I propose we own it. Take it back. Redefine it.

Overachiever: A person who loves something more than you do.

You can’t get much more simple than that. But it also can’t be more exact. There will always be someone who loves something more than we do. And in no way, shape or form does that mean we should vilify them or their passion.

• Zeb overachieves on Jr. Ranger programs, Age of Mythology and fart noises made with his knee. He loves it more than some kids do.
• I overachieve at photography, making people cry happy tears and drawing analogies between crazy experiences. I love it more than some of you do.
• Justin overachieves at motorcycles, making things with his hands and rolling his boxers up into a thong. He loves it more than most of us do.

The world is made up of a diverse and vastly unique spectrum of people. We’re not meant to all be the same and there is room enough for us all to be different.

It’s time to embrace our pretentious, self-absorbed passions for overachieving in our own area of expertise. It’s time to one-up each other in our radical displays of showing-off.

And when we’re filled up, lit up, seeping with passion and aching from laughter, we’ll have no choice but to pour that overachieving love back into the world.

So tell me, are you an overachiever? And at what do you overachieve?

One of the key efforts of an unschooling parent is something usually referred to as “strewing”: keeping interesting things “strewn” throughout your home that may be of interest to your child. It’s one of the ways often described to create a rich environment and it’s one of the habits I thought we might miss on the road.

Strewing generally leads to lots of cool stuff rotating around the house…cool stuff we have neither the storage to carry, nor the actual counter/table/floor space to place. “Stuff” simply has no spot to occupy in a 22 foot RV. So strewing has taken on a different look for us now. Instead of things, we strew opportunities: people, places and experiences. The world is truly our classroom…or at least the contingent 48.

Zeb has had a serious interest in mythology ever since being introduced to a video game just a few months ago by some new friends we made on the road. Through means I simply don’t know he can now recite both major and minor gods, what they rule, who they married and their children, as well as many of their stories.

When the Percy Jackson movie came out I knew we had to get it for him. (We keep all our DVD’s in a large CD folder and throw away the cases; we love movies and this ensures we always have space for our regular movie nights.) If you’ve seen it you know that one scene is portrayed right here in Nashville: the Nashville Parthenon! Duh! Of course we had to go!

Zeb really loved it, although he was disappointed there wasn’t more there. Not much of what we saw was new to him, but it was fun anyway. And he hasn’t stopped talking mythology all day.

Some cool information Zeb wants to share (and me, too!) with his fellow mythology lovers:

• Nashville built the Parthenon as part of their Centennial celebration to highlight their being referred to as The Athens of the South, due to their high number of universities.
• It was originally built from plaster in 1897 and meant to be a temporary structure. Other monuments were also built and later deconstructed but the Parthenon was left. When the plaster began to deteriorate the decision was made to reconstruct it out of cement, a 10 year project that began in 1921.
• As soon as we finish the Harry Potter series, we’ll be starting the Percy Jackson books*!
• The Lightning Thief* was not actually filmed on location, nor was the Athena in the movie anything like the Athena in Nashville. And the lady at the front desk was obviously pretty miffed about this.
• Zeb *loves* the computer game Age of Mythology*. It’s fun, captivating and full of cool information.
• Youtube has some cool videos for you visual learners who want to know more.
• Despite lots of Greek Mythology love, his favorite god is Thor, the Norse God of Thunder.
• And right now we’re getting ready to read the stories in this kid’s book* my aunt loaned us!

What are your kids loving right now? Any other mythology lovers out there?

*Disclosure

We’ve been chilling in DFW since last week and despite the humidity (can I overstate how much it sucks?) we’ve had a blast with the unschoolers in this area. If you’re looking for a hoppin’ mindful parenting community, this is the place!

We were told of the Whole Life Unschooling Meetup and planned our arrival to coincide with their park day last Thursday. I’m SO glad we did! The whole tribe was amazing and we enjoyed the discussion group as much as we enjoyed swinging like monkeys.

We met LeeAnn and her kids there and Zeb and Seth hit it off immediately. We made plans for ice skating with them on Tuesday. That lasted about 20 minutes before the boys had other plans. They all set up their laptops and played Age of Mythology for the rest of the afternoon. I wish we had had more time with them!

Thursday night we boondocked with Sarah and Chris Parent and their kiddos. (Yup, the same Parent’s from Discovery Health’s Radical Parenting!)

We totally clicked with them. They are getting ready to hit the road full-time this summer, so we talked non-stop about transitioning and deworking and RVing. Then we talked some more about unschooling and family and neighbors and on and on…Then they joined us for not one, but TWO potluck dinners at our campsite where we met up again with the Happy Janssens (they can’t get enough of us). And we hooped and laughed and chatted and played.

Seriously, I think I’m in love with this family. Sarah and Chris are such inspirational parents, and just wicked cool people. (Wah! I didn’t get any photos of us together!)

I can’t wait for them to get on the road so we can see each other again. There has been talk of a gypsy caravan.

Sarah also does a rockin’ podcast over at Humans Being and we had so much fun doing a live interview with her! Be sure to check it out!