When Your Good Life Makes Others Feel Guilty

I’ve been seeing a lot of those posts on Facebook, where a person apologizes for loving their life too loudly, and reassures everyone that it’s not actually perfect. They explain that they tend to focus on the good for their own benefit, but then they might rattle off all the things that suck to assure others that they are not trying to make anyone feel guilty.

I’m torn on this.

I understand the intention. I know none of us wants to portray something that isn’t realistic. And I know we want to be mindful of how our actions affect another human being. But is bringing our mindfulness practice, our personal growth, our spiritual awareness, or joy, or our embodiment of love down a level really helping anyone (ourselves included)?

You all know I share the depths of my soul, my emotional tornados, and my process through it all quite freely. You know I’m all about emotional honesty (when it’s coupled with emotional maturity and taking accountability for one’s own feelings).

But not as a means to ensure the world knows I don’t have it “too good”.

Neither you nor I am responsible for another person’s feelings. That doesn’t mean we aren’t accountable for our actions, or emotional patterns in our life, or how our actions may impact the world. It just means that it’s not our job to ensure someone else does or doesn’t feel something.

That’s an impossible for job for anyone but the owner of those emotions.

If someone accuses you of “making them” feel guilty, it’s simply not true. YOU aren’t the one making them feel guilty. Their own thoughts, their own comparisons, their own desires or choices are inspiring their own emotions. You could be a total ace, the next Patron Saint of the Internet, with your heart totally in the right place and a deep desire to heal the world, and someone could still accuse you of being an a-hole. It doesn’t have much to do with you, except that you happened to be in the right place and the right time to bump against their sore spots.

Sweet, beautiful, mindful, conscious soul who is trying hard to focus on the positive, spread love, and speak kindly in all things….don’t apologize for your healthy state of being. Don’t apologize for making conscious choices that lead you to wonderful things. Don’t apologize for working so diligently on your own growth. Don’t apologize for shining light into the world. Even when that light inadvertently shines on an aspect of something someone’s been working hard to avoid.

Don’t feel guilty that others are made uncomfortable by good things.

Feel compassion.

Don’t apologize for something that is none of your business.

Send them love.

Don’t change what you’re doing or try to convince them “my life sucks too”.

Keep yourself focused on your own inner work; not theirs.

Feel compassion.

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All I Want To Do Is Be With Him

Love this man.

It’s not like I DON’T have work to do. Oh, I do. I’m starting on turning the Mastermind into my business handbook, and have some new systems to figure out and put in place, and about 986593298739237 blog posts replaying themselves in my head.

But the only thing I find myself fully showing up for right now is emails and clients.

And my husband.

Zeb’s only been gone about 5 days.

And this isn’t his first trip without us.

But something feels different. Like we’re two kids in love again. Exploring the world together. Exploring each other.

We know Zeb is in good hands and having a blast. We’re not worried about him like we were last time.

I guess that’s what feels different, why we’re able to relax and breathe and enjoy one another so much more than last time Zeb traveled without us.

We’re not worried, so all that’s left is love.

Love to Zeb when we talk to him about his adventures and plans. Love for each other, to just be together in peacefulness.

There’s a bit of guilt there, for both of us.

Shouldn’t we worry more?
Shouldn’t we miss him more?
Shouldn’t we be miserable without him here?

But he’s having a blast. So we’re free to have a blast, too.

It’s like that phase of our relationship we didn’t get to experience. Just the two of us. And in the quiet space, the stillness, the intimacy…we’re remembering what it’s like (discovering what it’s like?) to just be together.

So I’m getting nothing done. Er, well…I’m not getting any work done I should say. 😉

Instead we’re just being together. Shopping together. Watching movies. Cooking together. Walking the dog. Going to the beach. Reading together. And lots of making love.

All we make is love.