Less than 30 miles outside Las Vegas, Benny broke down. A puff of smoke from the dash, a burnt smell and the engine and electrical controls turned off.

At first I really couldn’t be upset. I just kept thinking it could have been so much worse – an accident, the transmission, something requiring a fire extinguisher. We could have been in the middle of the desert without cell service. And that’s what this trip was about anyway; a test run. So instead of stressing out, we played games and kept Justin from getting frustrated as he tinkered. His dad drove out in hopes of helping. But in the end, and with the help of a friend’s phone book back home, we had to call a tow truck.

That’s about the time I started to get discouraged. I feel like this damn city has a stranglehold on me and refuses to let us leave. Following the tow truck back to the mechanic was disheartening enough but as we turned onto our street I felt even more depressed. It had that foreign but familiar feeling already – like you get when you’ve been away for a lot longer than 7 hours. I know it was only suppose to be a two day trip but it felt like the beginning of something brought to a rather abrupt end. And here we are: stuck and begrudged.

I’ve spent the last several hours going through the gamut of emotions – from amused over the story we’ll someday retell to disappointed. I’ve questioned whether this was a sign we are on the wrong path…or just a sign we bought the wrong RV.

And I’ve wondered what we’ll do without the support system we had in place today, without a parent to give us a lift or a friend to make a call. Will we be able to manage when it’s just the three of us in the middle of nowhere?

And for fuck’s sake, will this RV even make it to the middle of nowhere when it can’t even make it to the state line?

Update: We picked the RV up today (the 15th; less than 24 hours after dropping it off.) The mechanic said the electrical wiring under the dash was a mess, with lots of extraneous wiring and poorly connected. Apparently, one of the wires touched something metal which fried the whole thing. The kicker: Had we known or discovered the potential problem, it would have cost us $15 for a DIY repair. I don’t even want to think about what it cost us instead. ::sigh:: Oh, well. Such is life, shit happens and all that jazz. We’re hoping to reschedule our trip within a week and are crossing our fingers all will be well!

We’re moving!!

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Or rather, I should say, we’ll be on the move.

Meet Benny the Brave:

Here’s the deal: Justin is facing layoff within a month or so. He feels fairly certain he can scrounge up a few more months of work. But construction is grimmer than Vegas has ever seen. And he knows he’ll need to find work elsewhere. And with Benny, we can follow the work while we scope out new places to live.

Apparently, he’s been thinking about and researching going on the road for awhile. He approached me with the idea while at GVC and totally freaked me out. (I think Jeff Sabo’s talk at Good Vibrations on pursuing our own Passions pushed him over the edge.) But after thinking about it and talking it over with Zeb, we all started to feel really good about the idea. As soon as we made the decision together, things clicked into place and we found Benny immediately (although we took several more days to research and compare before coming back to him).
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Here are his specs:

• 1982 Winnebago Brave Series M-22RB – 22′
• Chevy 6.2 L DIESEL engine with only 67k miles
• Ugly as sin VERY retro
• But cheap as DIRT (thank you poor economy)

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Some things he needs:

• New air, oil and fuel filters
• New tires (they’re okay but we’re not taking chances)
• New blackwater tank
• New fuel cap (we’re using a sock right now!)
• A deep clean

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Some things he WANTS:

• Veggie oil conversion (#1 after small maintenance)
• Solar panels
• Complete indoor remodel: new flooring, paint, storage, cushion, curtains (I’m totally inspired by Sara’s recent remodel)
• Some outdoor sparkle…maybe some stenciled “Unschool Bus” or buttloads of bumper stickers

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We’re going to make a conscious effort to sell our home. Home values are down 60% and I’m not yet familiar with short sales. So, we could be looking at a foreclosure when the work stops. Scary, yes. But I’m trusting everything to work out for the best.

We’ll sell everything that we don’t absolutely love, store what we don’t absolutely need and tow the truck (with Justin’s tools) behind the RV. We’re also trying to create a way to accomodate as many of Zeb’s LEGOs as possible. (Eep!)

We’re thinking six more months until we’re on the road. Talk about revamping our Five Year Plan! Anyone interested in buying an urban homestead in the making?

ETA: More photos here.

During our time off last month, we had a chance to focus and discuss our goals for the future. Namely, what we want and where we want to be in five years. I can’t say I’ve ever known where I wanted to be in five years before now. Now we have a plan. A well-organized and thought-out plan. A plan that gets us so excited it’s difficult not to jump the gun and skip the needed steps to implement this plan well. What’s the plan?

The plan is to get the hell out of Dodge. Just not quickly. Quickly would require debt, a reliance on others (other economies, other banks, other bosses, etc) and a huge variation from the purpose of the plan. The purpose of the plan is to opt out of the System. To be debt-free and self-sufficient. To live off-grid (except for satelite internet ). An Earthship is a good possibility and something Justin wants to learn, but there are other possibilities, too.

We want a self-sustaining home -  one with solar and wind energy, water catchments and possibly, a well – outsie a sustainable community. We want a small organic “hobby farm” – something that will supply us with nearly all we need for sustenance , as well as a small income, possibly from an orchard. Justin wants a woodworking shop to build furniture or whatever else his heart desires. I want a wood-burning stove and a real fireplace and lots of nature surrounding me. Zeb wants goats and chickens and ducks, and a cow. He also wants a treehouse and lots of wild open spaces to run.

Of course, to do all this debt-free means saving up a truckload of money. We’re starting with a goal of $100,000. Enough to buy several acres and begin building our home. We have some ideas of how to save this. Our small Christmas last year was a good start. Selling what was once my business vehicle will save us thousands a year (it’s due to be pain off in less than two years anyway). Add to that fewer vacations, saving tax returns, reduced spending, skipping out on things, any overtime he might get…it’ll be tough – real tough – but manageable and the end result will be worth it. I’m also going to look into making money with my photography, my blog and maybe with the garden eventually.

Their are also a few things that we plan to do before our homesteading venture makes them more difficult to accomplish: medical and dental work before the insurance is lost is crucial, among other more personal matters.

So, there you have it. The synopsis to our Five-Year Plan. I love it! I love the action and the mental organizing. I love SMART Goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timebound). It’s a rough idea and one I’m sure we’ll be adding to and/or amending as time goes on and as we learn more and get closer to our goal. I’m sure I’ll also keep ya’ll updated on specific changes via a blog post too.

And as always, I’m open to ideas – things we should check out (locations, technologies, techniques, etc), things we should consider, or just your own thoughts and ideas or your own goals! And we’re hoping to have some great, like-minded neighbors, if you care to join us.

Here’s the plan:

We currently live in a suburb of Las Vegas, a city who’s real estate bubble burst leaving us with an upside-down home. Because Justin’s field of expertise (commercial construction; mostly casinos) relies heavily on a booming economy, we know continuing to live in Las Vegas long-term will bring challenges in the coming years.  Our current guesstimations to do this debt-free put us at a financial goal of $100,000 at the end of five years, an average of $20,000 a year. This will be the biggest challenge.

We’re applying SMART techniques to this goal; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound. For this reason we’ve begun an outline for accomplishment that we will update along the way.

2009, Year 1:

• Research local, stable banks and open a new savings account
• Sell our second vehicle to decrease debt and increase savings: Detail truck, affix sign on window, list online and in paper, pray for a miracle
• Finish yard and garden conversion and start producing own food: Erect raised beds, plant fruit trees, finish irrigation, sow all seeds, plant more perennial nitrogen-fixers and insectaries
• Research and implement homesteading skills from a homemaker’s perspective: baking, preserving, sewing, knitting, etc
• Research and if possible, implement a graywater system
• Research rabbits and egg-laying chickens and their shelters
• Find more ways to save (and/or earn) money

2010, Year 2:

• Continue expanding edible landscaping in front and backyard
• Adopt animals for eggs or manure
• Research desired land features- Elevation desired, Average Precipitation needed, Local and State laws, Taxes, Building Codes, Climate Change Models, Localized Communities and their sustainability and resources
• Research areas that fits our desired land features
• Continue finding ways to add to decrease spending and increase savings

2011, Year 3:

• Continue expanding edible landscaping in front and backyard
• Begin heavy research on sustainable homebuilding, temporary living structures, barn, workshops,  solar and wind technologies, composting toilets, etc
• Continue finding ways to decrease spending and increase savings

2012, Year 4:

• Continue Victory Gardening and Urban Homesteading from previous years
• Continue research on sustainable homebuilding and communities, etc from previous year
• Consider programs such as WWOOF, EarthShip internships and Permaculture certification
• Purchase land that fits our requirements
• List Las Vegas home for sale
• Continue finding ways to decrease spending and add to savings

2013, Year 5:

• Continue Victory Gardening and Urban Homesteading from previous years
• Sell home and find interim living arrangements if needed

PLAN B:

Because the job market in Vegas has taken a sudden turn for the worst and Justin may be unemployed at any moment, we’ve established our Plan B. It’s a bit more fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants since we don’t know what to expect in the coming months or years. We’ll make changes as necessary.

• Continue doing everything we can to save and earn money
• Continue growing everything we can
• Only invest money or time into the house or garden that will pay for itself
• Continue doing all we can to stay in our home, while still saving money
• If moving out of our home is necessary, we’ll stay in Las Vegas and continue to work towards moving debt-free

I was listening to NPR the other day and heard a news story on recycling. It seems as Peak Oil gains recognition and folks start to think about their consumption and subsequent waste and are actually breaking out those recycling bins, the recycling market has plummeted. As in a nose dive off a high cliff to splatter on sharp rocks below. Not a pretty picture. People are buying less, which is a good thing. But manufacturers now need less material. So recycling facilities around the country have no one to sell to. One facility in California actually rented warehouse space to store material until the market rises back up and they can unload it then. That’s…that’s…crazy.

This wasn’t something I saw coming. I thought as peak oil made new resources harder to come by more people would be seeking junk. I have this dark, Soylent Green vision of the world in my head; which includes people digging up old landfills to find crushed cans or plastic bottles to sell like pawned goods. Copper becoming the new gold. And maybe that still will happen. But in the meantime, there is no market for recyclables and they’re all still scurrying around for new materials while they’re cheap and we can find them.

I guess this means our emphasis should be on the Reduce and Reuse. Or as my category says “Reduce, Reuse, PREcycle”. Think before we buy. Buy quality. Picture yourself using it for the next 40 years. Then actually use it for the next 40 years. Make do, mend it, or do without. Ultimately, I think this is what will happen. Recycled plastics will be manufactured for hospitals; things that must be disposable. And our home trash cans and recycling bins will sit empty most of the year.

It’s strange when I live in my little world of sustainability; with friends who garden, with ‘green’ blogs to read. I tend to think the world is turning around in huge leaps. And maybe it is. But then I step outside my little world and see someones faucet running while they walk away, or see people who struggle to make ends meet buying disposable everything. I see people who think what I’m doing is insane or extreme. Who believe growing food in Las Vegas is impossible; who can’t imagine not going out to eat on your birthday. People who think a 9 year old boy can’t possibly learn anything without coercion but wonder why ingenuity has fizzled out and how we’ll survive the future without it.

Who accept the world they’ve been given and neither wish for change nor even believe it’s inevitable.

I look at our life now and try to envision where we’ll be in the future – something I’ve never been good at doing. But at least we’re preparing – planting, learning, working, saving for whatever may come. And I worry. Here we are ahead of the game and still challenged by the task. And how many aren’t even aware? What is going to happen when the whistle blows to start the real game and leave so many people bewildered and floundering? People in fear. Fear does crazy shit to crowds. One person on their own is an intelligent thinker. En masse tends to lower IQs and drain all rationale. Will we be more concerned over the safety of our food in our front yard or for ourselves?

And then in my news haitus, I somehow missed the reintroduction of the ban on semi-automatic rifles. This frustrates me. Why don’t more people see that only LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS follow the LAW in regards to gun bans and that all this will do is disarm VICTIMS?! Criminals will continue getting guns they shouldn’t have, while regular folks lose the right to protect themselves. It won’t stop the crime. It won’t decrease accidents either – only safety education does that. So what exactly is the point to it?

:sigh:

Half the country is worried that Obama will screw us up further. Many think he’s our Savior in disguise or at least the best thing since sliced bread. I think neither yet. I think he has a great potential to do either task well and I’m just waitin’ for the results. I like the fact that he has some thought toward sustainability. I wish more people saw the potential of inflating their damn tires. And maybe someone will be able to convince him to plant a victory garden in the front lawn of the White House. There is a potential there to set a great precedent, to change our image in the eyes of the rest of the world, to become leaders again, to inspire thousands of people to do something other than go shopping. There is also the potential to bankrupt us, to steal our freedoms or make suspicious decisions in favor of “public safety”…something we’ve seen for awhile, something we saw during Katrina, something we see going on now in food co-ops, and with food irradiation, and again and again and again with our rights.

Aaah, I don’t mean to sound so negative. I guess this is what I get when I’m too cold to do much more than surf the ‘net and formulate thoughts. There are some happy thoughts in here too, though. Like how Ron Paul might win in 2012 – if only that dream would come true. Like how many awesome people are adopting urban chickens or reading articles on “anti-economies“. And then there is all the IRL positives – our garden coming along, our onions and carrots doing well, finally seeing the leaves change color, the great people I’ve met in my photography meetup. And a real plus is how the negative news doesn’t seem to paralyze me like it used to. It’s become empowering, and a way to explain my craziness to others. It’s confirmed my path and believe it or not, it’s made me damn excited for what lies ahead.

I mean really, aren’t we always saying how we wish we could sloooow dooooown? How we wish it were about connecting and finding purpose? That’s what this has done for me. I hope it does the same for others.

This is how I’m feeling these days. As if I’m walking around in a life not my own. I’ve hijacked the bundled cells of another soul and am sitting rather uncomfortably in the tight squeeze. How did I end up in these cramped quarters? IwantoutIwantoutIwantout!

I feel this deep propensity toward a life I seem unable to create. A life of simplicity, of beauty, of nature and art and music and connection and and and. But it’s more than arduous to create this picture perfect life of beauty while surrounded by dreary, dry, dead domain. This city! My hometown is sucking the life out of me. Its lack of options too often locks us inside and creates a dependency on an electronic lifestyle – a version of living vicariously through another person’s blog. The television, the video games, the computers…they all feel like static in my hair; annoying, frustrating and nearly impossible to figure out how to manage.

I want less stuff. More movement and flow. Less noise. More harmonious dancing with the Earth. More connection to Spirit with less distraction. More G-d and less Ego.

We text, we email, we instant message, we blog, we chat on our cells while we run our errands. But we rarely sit down and really link hearts with someone else. The pool of connection has gotten broad and vast, but shallow. I want the Laura Ingalls Wilder version of life. Simple, peaceful and (can I wear this word out?) connected. Instead I feel like the diver who’s air line has been severed.

:sigh:

Justin and I recently had an opportunity to escape. An offer to live in the middle of nowhere and take care of a ranch. The entire scenario was made for us. Z even fell in love with the idea. But we are strapped down to a home we can’t sell in a city we dislike and can’t escape just yet. We allowed our dream life to pass us by. It wasn’t all sad. I simply knew it wasn’t time yet. I want so deeply to be where I’m meant to end up but I know I’m not meant to end up there yet.

Z and I tried something new today. We “powered down” as we call it, for most of the day. We agreed on 2pm as the first hour we could turn on anything electronic and instead spent the morning reading, creating with clay and playing games. And (thankfully) we both really enjoyed it. We connected. Not just with each other, but with our home and ourselves. Z had about an hour of laying on the cushions on the floor, deep in private thought. It was a step in the right direction, one that we will attempt to implement regularly.

Another moment of connection happened yesterday at our unschoolers park day. The babes and kids and tweens running in the grass and climbing trees; their voices hollering across the breeze. The barefoot moms crocheting, sharing and laughing in the shade with one eye on the tribe around us. I just sat back and reveled in the perfection. We have a lot of those moments together, us Life Learners. We’ve all toyed with the idea of a commune, a way to surround ourselves with as many moments of beauty as possible with as few distractions as necessary. But weather is something we can’t seem to agree on so a location has yet to be ascertained. :]

Oooh, I wish to greedily run in the right direction, leaving the path behind and just get to where I’m meant to end up. But you can’t skip the road needed to travel to a destination. Half the “getting there” relies on what you learn along the way. So I’m trudging the route and trying to smell as many flowers along the side as possible. And planting a few myself for those in step behind me.

I’m getting there. I’m still practicing the accepting of that, but at least I’m not jumping too far ahead of myself.

• I created the blog to share tips with newbies to the green movement.
• I started catching sink run-off to water outdoor plants.
• I capture shower water to use in the toilet now (I hate the idea of flushing clean water!).
• I’ve started home baking our breads.
• I’ve ditched the dryer and hung up our clothesline (one outdoors and one indoors on a retractable line for things I don’t want the business complex behind me to see).
• I already keep our A/C at 82 during the summer (Yes, even when it’s 118 outside!).
• I’m looking into purchasing a solar cooker. Excited for this one!!
• I’ve planted most of the veggies and herbs we eat so that we can stop purchasing from a grocery store which imports food from out of state.
• I’ve stopped buying new and opted for used through Freecycle or thrift stores.
• I’ve learned how to sew and I already crochet.
• I crochet the stash of old plastic bags into new bags.
• I only shop with canvas bags and refuse plastic, even if that means carrying what I buy.
• I’ve started cutting my own bangs and am allowing the rest of my hair to grow.
• We’re downsizing to one vehicle! (In the market for an SUV?)
• We’ve stopped using chemical pesticides and cleaners.
• We power down as often as possible and use rechargeable
• We combine shopping trips and errands to save gas and walk when possible. I’m even considering learning how to ride a bike. Eek!
• I’m hoping to emulate Path to Freedom in whatever way I can.
• I will be switching to a corded phone once these cordless phone batteries finally die.
• I’ve got my compost pile (finally!) working.
• I’m looking into rain barrels (for all of four inches of rain a year) and reusing our washer water.
• We’ve switched to a vegetarian diet (lacto-ovo).
• I’ve switched from face products to baking soda, apple cider vinegar and olive oil (with great results!!).
• I’m sewing my own curtains using only natural materials and reclaimed wood and small fallen tree branches for curtain rods!
• I’ve started a Sustainability group for people in my city.
• I’ve joined several homesteading/sustainability groups for ideas from other like-minded individuals.
• I’ve joined the Urban Homesteaders web ring (lower left side) started by Path to Freedom.

What else can I do? I’m open to suggestions!

Our makeshift clothesline and compost in the corner.
Our contained garden (does not include our fruit trees or our soon-to-be planted cherry tomatoes, watermelon, cantaloupe, pumpkin or potatoes).

Our grape vine…with a nice shot of the biz complex behind us so you can see just how urban our homestead is.

I know there are at least some unschoolers who are laughing at me now. Yes, you read it. A ferociously organized and neurotic planner is unschooling her son. Not cuz it’s best for her or because it’s easy but because her son won’t fit inside an educational plan! Dammit! How simple my life would be if I could plan!

But I’ve found ways around it. I’ve made lists. Yup. Lists. I’ve made lists of every concept, idea or “thing” one may think a child needs to know (as well as things I’d like to introduce him to because I find them important). And on occasion I reread them, marking them off if I recognize it as something he knows. Don’t roll your eyes or laugh at me! It’s the only way I can tame the wild beast that is my neurosis while allowing Z to grow in freedom. And it actually helps. I’ve also made lists of what he’s done during a particular day and the “educational value” to it.

But in making a list the other day of what is most important for him to know in life, I stumbled across the truth. His academic level makes not one lick of difference if his heart’s not in the right place. These were the things on the top of the list:

- loving G-d, himself, others
- respect for life, for the world
- patience
- self-confidence
- learning is fun

Really, everything else is a by-product of those five things. Happiness, education, purpose, charity, knowledge. None of those can be achieved fully without possessing those five qualities.

The challenging part for me of course: none of those can be checked off a list. None can be achieved through a misc. number of steps or by a pre-packaged curriculum. There are no guidelines or how-to’s, no predetermined, tried-and-true path to success. Just each and every moment to be the example, to urge and encourage, to live life out loud for the sake of my son.

And let’s face it: If I’m the example, he’s screwed in the patience arena. I guess I need to enroll in HeartSchooling, too.