I realized recently that I don’t get scared speaking anymore. Not when I’m interviewing someone big or important, nor when I’m teaching my essential oil workshops. Continue reading “The Fear of Public Speaking and What It Really Boiled Down To”
This is one of those posts where I do a little *happydance* and celebrate how I totally rocked my first speaking gig.
I was pretty over the moon just to have an Events page. (I have an Events page!) But to actually BE AT the event! Well, that actually made me a little nauseous.
The event was the Mindful Spirit Expo in Jackson, MS this past weekend and I had not one but TWO talks AND a booth!
Justin was also there, as one half of Oddball Juggling, teaching adults (and a few kids) the benefits of juggling (like using it as a meditation, a healthy outlet for emotions, a preventative tool for neurological disorders) and how to juggle.
We shared a booth, which meant he drew a lot of people to us, what with his balls flying through the air.
I had so many nerves beforehand that I literally wanted to run away.
Yes, you may see me as happy and confident but that’s only after a fair deal of internal work to release the old stories that run through my head.
(They tend to say things like “WTF!” and “This was a bad idea” and “You’re going to the Bible belt to talk at a mind-body-spirit expo?! You’re going to be lynched!” That last one was calmed when I realized I was one of the least “woo-woo” there – still woo-woo mind you, but the least. 😉 )
The last time I was on stage was hula hooping almost two years ago and even that was nerve-wracking for me. Leading up to this event, all I could think about was how nervous I get in front of crowds. Hula hooping in front of a group of awesome families sounds so easy and it still tore me up.
This was freaking me out.
But there is a big difference between almost two years ago and now. Now I have tools to qualm those old stories and move me back into that confidence and excitement. So I used them:
- Plenty of Digging Deep on those stories, of course
- EFT to help release the nerves
- Connecting with my own coach for a reminder session (As in a reminder of what is true)
- Stillness, meditation (mine and Jenn’s new one*), surrender, Trust, prayer
- Music – Oddly enough this Gotye song was the only one my head wanted to hear, so I popped in my earphones and danced through the lobby until it was time to speak. Yes, I did.
And then I stood up, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and let myself speak on the topics that have changed my life, the tools I’ve found and created to heal my spirit and my family, the realness and the rawness of Life and all we get to do in it.
And I freaking rocked it.
And it felt amazing.
There is something magnificently edifying about speaking your Truth, despite the slight knock in your knees. To tell yourself more than anyone else that you’re ready to just spill it, no holding back, no worries of how it will be received.
Something simple and wonderful about knowing that you don’t need to reach the world, don’t need to convince anyone, don’t need to speak to anyone except those you’re here to speak to, those you’re here to connect with, those who are here to connect with you.
Experiences like this rewrite things in your heart, rewrite them with messages that have no words, with understanding that is beyond what I could summarize.
But it’s something about the courage of a lion, the power of vulnerability, the audacity of self-approval, the celebration of Life.
And it is good.
What about you: How have you confronted your fear of putting yourself “out there”?
*Heck yeah it’s an affiliate link!