Coaching women out of "survival mode" to recreate their lives and families
Let’s Grow Old Together from Tara Wagner on Vimeo.
Ten years together, 8 years married. Still madly in love with butterflies and goosebumps.
Happy anniversary, my love. Here’s to this moment and many more.
Current location: Noah’s Ark, Wisconsin Dells
i’m glad you were born
29 years ago
in this very place
when we were still worlds apart
you, with a crooked smile
and a chipped tooth
and a deep sense of responsibility
for things that aren’t yours
and those who are
you, who grew up quickly
and quietly
who’s path i often wondered if i crossed
unnoticed
you, who sacrifices all dignity
to see us laughing until we pee our pants
at the faces you make
or animals you impersonate
or other things I probably shouldn’t repeat
(because dignity is only lost for us, after all)
you, who feels old in his youth
and gives himself a bellyache for it
who fears things
like speaking his mind
and wearing pink that’s really grey
no matter what your eyes tell you
you, who challenges me
and my beliefs on independence
who reminds me without words
(and sometimes with words)
all you mean to us
you, who fills me
who is the catalyst behind our best ideas
who inspires me
and reminds me of my own power
yet fails to see it all lacks without your hand
you, who is not finding yourself
but creating
who thinks deeply
but doesn’t share
whom i can neither read
nor resist
you, who fails to acknowledge
your own wonder and prowess
who can’t admit to the miracle that is you
who has yet to discover
the influence and magic that would disappear
had you not been born
into this world
and into mine
i’m glad you were born
to smile and to learn
to push and be pushed
i’m glad you were born
to influence and shape
and create and Be
i’m glad you were born
into this place, this time
to be this person
just Who You Are
right now
and here with me
Happy birthday, Justin. I love you.
Everyone has their “thing,” right? That one thing they just can’t do.
Mine is dishes.
It’s not that I just hate doing them. It’s that it is that one thing that grosses me out. Give me vomit to clean or a farm animal to slaughter and I’m good to go and probably a little too interested. Show me a sink full of soggy, slimy food particles floating in warm water and I’m going to gag. Heaven forbid one of those food particles actually clings to my hand. I’m getting chills just thinking about it.
This is actually a two-fold issue:
I know this makes me slightly weird (although I’m adamant I’m not alone) and I do manage to take showers. 
Mostly I think it’s just a sensitivity thing (I don’t like air blowing on me either) and well…a weird thing. Whatever. I can own it.
One of the first things I miss in the RV is the dishwasher. And not just for the washing aspect; having a place to put dirty dishes until you have enough to wash is just as beneficial. As such there is almost always a dirty dish in the sink, taunting me relentlessly.
Thankfully I have a husband who humors me. For the past several months without a dishwasher, Justin has been handwashing like a pro. Occasionally I can overcome the water issue to rinse and dry. It’s hard and it involves a lot of hand-drying (yes, I actually dry my hands between the dishes I rinse – like I said, I can own my weirdness) but I do it.
He loves me (and he knows I have serious issues), so it’s never really mentioned. And I love him to the moon and back for it. But when Justin was taking his blacksmith workshop over the weekend, he’d come home on cloud nine and I knew nothing would ruin that excitement like dishes waiting to be done.
So today when I faced a sink full of dirty dishes, I didn’t think about the particles of stir-fry floating by or the soggy rice cascading between my fingers (oh dear lord). I took a really deep breath and focused on offering this as a gift of love to my husband.
And you know what? With my husband held firmly in my mind, it wasn’t so bad. This was my gift and nothing changes our perspective like wholeheartedly choosing to give from our hearts.
I didn’t clean out the food trap though. I do have issues, after all. Thankfully, he didn’t mind. 
After Indiana, we headed into Madison, Wisconsin.
Justin was born in Wisconsin and moved away when he was 10. Even though he’s spent more time away than here, Wisconsin still feels like home to him. And I totally see why. It’s so gorgeous here and so comfortable (it helps that we’ve had nearly perfect weather every day)!
Madison was a place we’ve wanted to check out, a possible place to live someday. We stayed at Lake Farm Park, a gorgeous campground surrounded by wildflower fields. It made for plenty of gorgeous, quiet sunrise walks.
We met up with Denise, who is awesome! If ever there was a mom to look up to, Denise is it. She’s so laid-back, mindful and balanced. Truly inspiring.
They picked us up and carted us around, showing us the town and even taking us shopping. We played at their house and she really won me over when she made us dinner.
We also had another potluck at our campground. We met some soon-to-be RVers and some more fun unschoolers and we hooped and ate and relaxed.
The area was gorgeous and there was much we loved about it. Friday came too soon and we headed out to Mineral Point, WI, for Justin’s blacksmithing workshop.
Nope. No pictures of that one! But I can say he LOVED it. He made a coat hook, a hook for the awning, a set of pliers and a couple other things. He’s so interested in it, he was tempted to stay put just to learn more. I think if he could fit a forge in our trailer, he would.
Today was hair cutting day. The rain had stopped, so we set up shop outside with some clippers, a pair of scissors and a camp chair. I’m happy that Justin and Zeb are both glad to have me cut their hair; it saves money and resources to do a simple cut at home. Most of the hair went into the trash but I’m assuming the rest will end up in a bird nest or as humus.
Zeb was first up. Oh, it was hard. I so loved his long curls. But he’s very tenderheaded which makes brushing difficult and infrequent. Because of this the back was starting to dread and that wasn’t what he wanted.
He wanted short hair. He was tired of being mistaken for a girl, tired of getting hair in his eyes, tired of trying to comb it out. So as hard as it was for me to do it, I lopped off his curly locks and watched my tween transform before my eyes into someone younger and lighter and happy to feel the breeze on his head. He loves it but I will still secretly miss his curls for some time to come.
Justin was up next. He’s not sure what the heck he’s doing with his hair or his massive beard, but I convinced him to let me trim things up around the edges and define his beard into a goatee.
After looking at his before and after, he’s not real happy with his look.
He’s asking your opinion…should he go back to a shaved head and shorter facial hair (like this photo)? Or should he keep growing it all out?
P.S. Um, no. I was not included in hair cutting day, thankyouverymuch, Mom.
I'm Tara Wagner, life coach and creator of the Digging Deep process, where I coach women out of survival mode to recreate their lives and families.
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