Our awareness of food choices started in 2003, when Zeb was about 4 years old. I began to connect his frequent croup-like coughs with things like birthday parties and Halloween candy and began to suspect what I had heard about food coloring. We decided to have him tested for food sensitivities and boy, were we in for a shock. Certain dairy products, vegetables, fruits and all artificial ingredients, not surprisingly, showed to be problematic. But the worst was corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup (HFCS)and all other corn-related products (from corn on the cob to cornstarch). Of course, eliminating corn products meant completely changing our diet.

But that was just the beginning. From there I learned about organic vs conventional foods and the negative impacts of conventional farming. That lead to the discovering of hormone-laden animals and the environmental impact of factory farming. Of course that lead me to researching veganism, which is when I read about raw diets and the possible effects of cooking or heating foods. Throw in gluten-free diets, local and seasonal foods, buying in bulk, cooking from scratch and genetically modified foods and I’m starting to wondering what I can eat.

Here’s the kicker. I am not passionate about food; I’m definitely not what some would call a “foodie”. I love growing it (what little I’ve grown thus far) and I enjoy eating what I’ve grown. But I’m not a die-hard, gotta-try-this-new-recipe, love-to-cook-and-eat-what-I-cook kinda gal. I’d be perfectly content if all my nutrition could come in capsule form and need only be remembered once a day (any more than that would be pushing it). I eat because my body demands it, but I find it a hassle and too often wrought with too many damn decisions and a high price tag pulling on a shoestring budget.

Thus eliminating so many options – bananas, sliced bread, anything not made from scratch or “certified” in some way or other – really doesn’t help my situation. I end up putting off eating for lack of appealing or easy or “healthy” choices until my blood sugar is ravaging my mood and my stomach is echoing complaints of neglect. I skip meals. I pick at snacks. I’m not taking care of myself. And with Zeb’s hypoglycemia, I’m setting a horrible example.

No need to chastise. I know this contributes to much of how I feel emotionally and mentally. I know it’s something I need to stop talking about it (or complaining about) and just do. Find something manageable that has me eating regularly (cuz lots of mediocre food is better than no food, right?) and stick to it. At least until I’m in a position to make other changes.

So, I’m temporarily compromising my so-called standards. I’m eating bananas again – the locavore’s nemesis, but at least they’re organic. I’m buying at least some bread until I’m organized enough to make it from home. I’m opting for simpler meals and habitually revolving menus and I’m remaining open to allowing it to unfold without my pushing it along. I’m also working on drinking more water because I’m fairly certain the one glass a day thing is causing radioactive pee.

Ultimately? I’d like to eat more fresh fruits and veggies than not. I’d like to keep eating my cheeses and homemade yogurt because I enjoy them. I’d like to homebake my bread and pasta and tortillas again. And I’d like to simply enjoy the process of sustenance.

But I’m not there yet. And I’m no longer gonna fake it. Eating will become more of a priority, but finding the perfect diet is taking a back burner for a bit.

And since I seem to have started a tradition, enjoy some Mia Dyson (does her voice remind anyone else of Bonnie Raitt?):

P.S. Those two top photos are actually decent foods that I’ve found are easy enough and healthy enough to spend my energy on right now. You can click on them for details.