Organic Wisdom :: Think About It

Side note: We’re at DrumStrong with The Conscious Caravan this weekend! If you’re in the area I’d love to see you there. 😀 And stay tuned for the official introduction to the rest of the Caravan!

Every Friday I try to share some of the quotes I post on Twitter and Facebook, with some of my expanded thoughts and feelings on it here.

“Organic Wisdom” is what I have found speaking to me in those quiet moments, that guides me and that echoes Truth in my life. Please feel free to download, or share this image in any way you’d like.

We live in a fast-paced culture.

Ideas, thoughts, images, words, stimulation in one form or another is constantly flying by our heads.

We’re over-stressed, over-committed, and overwhelmed.

And although we know there is a time to process, to feel, to sink into our sorrow and experience what it’s offering us, we’re all craving that deep sense of gratitude that reverberates in our bones, craving to be overwhelmed with joy.

You don’t have to chase gratitude and joy.

You just have to stop and think.

Close our eyes and think about who your children are as people (not as the makers of mistakes).

Close your eyes and think about the core intentions of your partner (not the way he or she has learned to act on those intentions).

Close your eyes and think about what your body is capable of (not what you criticize it for).

Close your eyes and think about Who You Are – beneath the commotion and the ideas and the fears and the incessant need to impress or resist.

Just create a little space – in your schedule, in your home, in your head – to experience what is aching to fill the spaces of your heart.

What are you thinking of these days?

Right when we need to love each other most

Green and Red

You build with mortar the barriers around you
Going into shutdown mode
With robotic automation

And I pick up the slack
With my overwhelming frustration
An attempt to bulldoze your red brick wall

My mind whispers otherwise
Reminding me its compassion that tears down fences
That creates safe spaces that coax you out of hiding

But usually my ego wins
Responding from the fear recalled by my previously wounded heart

You’re not him
Any of those other hims
And I’m not the girl I was then either
Nor am I the person who taught you to withdraw

But still we slip into those places our experiences have created
Those places that tell you to hide
And me to fight for my life
That forget the safety we can celebrate in the other’s arms

And I’m thankful for those moments for two reasons.

One: that they never last long
That what used to be my entire experience of love
Is now merely a glimpse of a little girl’s fear that overtakes me momentarily
Before I remember who I am
And where I am
And who I’m with
And what we both need.

And Two: that they remind me of those things at all
Of who and where I am and with whom
That they offer the contrast of a previous life I thought was normal
And the wonder I still dwell in because I’ve discovered that its not
That those places are no longer comfortable
No longer the first place I go
No longer the last place I want to leave
That they no longer threaten me
Or you
Or us together
But that they merely happen as a glimpse of an old self
A history we get to rewrite
And not a destiny we’re doomed to repeat
That it’s never long before your arms are wrapped back around me
And I’m sinking into your heartbeat
And we’re smiling again
With the reminder that decades past is not our reality
Even if we momentarily relive it
For old time sake perhaps

Yes, I’m thankful for the times you trigger my old shit
(although you’ll never hear me say it in the moment)
Because I want to be the woman who loves you that fiercely
As to lean into compassion instead of bulldozer mode
Into love instead of my own fear
Into what you need instead of what I’m afraid to give
(Yes, I have walls of my own
Not the kind that go up in a flash
But the more insidious kind
That stay up all the time
And are made of clear glass
Giving you the illusion of openness
Until you face plant against them.)

And I’m thankful for another thing:
This sacred little space we’ve created between the two of us
Where you learn to open up
(and I learn to shut up)
Where I learn to be patient
(and you hurry up and get there already)

Yes, we have our moments of fear
That manifest as anger and disconnect and hurt
But damn, only moments?
(I’d call it easy if I didn’t remember how fucking hard it was there for awhile
and how much we worked at this
and how we almost didn’t make it work)

I guess what I’m trying to say
Is your damn sexy
Red brick walls and all
And I’m glad you think I’m cute when I’m mad
Because I must be breathtaking to you
Right when we need to love each other most.

Making Time Together :: Yoga in the Woods

I shared on the Organic Tribe last month how April sort of felt like a kick to the teeth.

We had mishap after mishap and mine and Justin’s main relationship trigger is stress.

Not just stress, but a string of stress that really throws us off and disconnects us. We were good for the first round. The second, third and fourth rounds is when we fell apart.

We’ve found that when we can come together we can weather damn near anything.

But in April we let 9863653886 give us the lame excuse to not make time to come together.

We really noticed this by the end of the month. Yeah, things were stressful with tires going flat and slide breaking and the dog getting fleas and on and on.

But it was made harder by our distance from one another.

It’s too easy to allow Life become an excuse. It feels hard to not fall into that trap. But it becomes simple when you just don’t allow it too.

So we came back together. And we’ve been working on more mindfully staying that way.

Case in point: Yoga in the woods.

Yoga with the hubby again. So so good.

Early yesterday morning as I was sitting in the lake I just felt compelled. There’s a perfect deck at the RV campground we’re currently in and the weather was wonderful. (We’re in South Carolina currently.)

I came back prepared to need to jump up and down on the bed to wake him, but he was already awake and reading. I just had to ask and he was ready to go.

This morning we did it again. Although this time he convinced me to try his YogaX (from the P90X program). Yeah, that’s really not a more-than-once-a-week practice for me. 😉

But we have some other videos and audios and plans to continue as often as we can roll ourselves out of bed before 9am.

And who wouldn’t want to get up early to watch your husband do this:

The man is a freaking animal! #yoga #wheel #isatthisoneout

The man is an animal!

What do you do to come together?

When Our Partners Are On Different Pages (Or Different Books)

Reading on the Steps
Photo Source

I love my husband more than I thought possible. We have a damn good relationship. And it shows. So people often assume we work together effortlessly. That we’re not near opposites on so many topics. That we don’t have to work to find ourselves on the same page – or even the same book – when it comes to things like parenting or food or life in general.

But work, we do. Or sometimes don’t. 😉

Sometimes we slip into our own ego and refuse to budge. Sometimes we know the exact relationship tool that’s practically screaming to be used in the back of our mind and we tell it to “eff off”. We are a funny creature like that, aren’t we? Resisting the very thing we want.

Those are the days (weeks) that we can’t connect, that we can’t find agreement…that we feel 12 miles apart screaming through the wind in two different languages (what the crap is he talking about?!).

I end just wanting to be heard. Feeling resentful. We end up having a fight…or worse, shutting down to one another.

And our son feels the difference, even when we think we shelter him from it. He knows when we’re in love and when we’re acting out of fear. He thrives in the former.

Thankfully Justin and I always find our way back around to each other.

We reach through the discord, we calm our fears, and we lean into the trust we sometimes refuse. We take deep breaths and we come back around the Wisdom speak(scream)ing in the backs of our minds for our attention. And we find what we always find – that these principles, these tools work…when we allow them to.

Ah, allowing. Surrender. Trust.

Nothing we try works when those foundations are shadowed over. I can say all the right things, use all the right tools, but without Trust firmly in place I might as well sound like the adults in Charlie Brown’s world from all the good it does. (Wah wah wah.)

So Yes…It Starts With Trust

If you’re ready to lean into that, you’re halfway there. (And it took me a looooong time to get to that place. Lots of healing and lots of experience understanding he’s not the person I fear he’ll be.)

It starts with trust (well, really wasn’t doesn’t?) and moves from there.

If you’ve got trust in place (or maybe you’re even still working on it) and you want to join us in moving from from it, I’ve got just the tribes for you….and I’d love to see you – and your partner – there.

THE DEETS ::

Below are the details to one free and two upgraded events.

Facebook Circle with Relationship Coach Jeffrey Platts
This Monday, April 2 at 8pm Eastern

We’re going to gather on Facebook on the page’s new chat room (this will be the first time I’ve tested it out with a big group, so let’s all gather our energy around the fact that it WILL be working – if not we’ll chat on the timeline instead).

Jeffrey Platts will be joining us as well! Jeffrey helps men and women connect more deeply and authentically in their relationships and is the perfect guest for this topic.

Facebook Circles are open to anyone. No cost, no commitment. Grab a cup’o something, and let’s circle around this topic, creating connection between us and deepening our own understanding.

Click here to join the page now, then set your reminder for Monday’s chat!


The Organic Tribe – 2 Sessions
Thursday, April 12 and Monday, April 30

In the Organic Tribe this month we’re going to delve deeper into this topic with the coaching, tools and tribes that can help you breakthrough your resistance, your walls, your disharmony to co-create with your partner more connection and synergy and allow you to meet one another with the only things that will help your relationship to thrive – love and trust.

The Organic Tribe will meet over the phone, but don’t worry if you can’t make the time. You’ll receive the call recording of each session to your inbox. You’ll also receive access to the Organic Sisterhood, as well as the opportunity to win 1 of 2 complimentary coaching sessions with me. You can then stay with the Tribe each month or cancel whenever you wish.

AND I’ve lowered the price of the Tribe, making it more accessible to everyone!

Click here to read more about the Organic Tribe and join now.

I hope to see you at each of these, to hear your words, to share in our collective wisdom, and to help you find what you need to reconnect.

Serving vs. Being a Servant {Which one are you?}

My Heart Is Hers

In your relationship with your children…

Your relationship with your partner…

Even your work or contribution to the world

In your life, are you serving or are you being a servant?

There is a very distinct difference between the two.

The Servant

Picture the classical version of a servant; a person in servitude to another, who does their calling or bidding.

There may be little to no boundaries and she has little to no say in the demands made upon her. Her needs aren’t important, or as important, as the person or people she serves.

She is lower than, less than, beneath others. Her servitude is out of obligation: it’s a duty or a chore or a job, something that must be done.

The modern-day servant looks a lot like this:

You give to your loved ones, or even acquaintances, out of duty. You often feel less important than or diminished or blocked by those in your life. You also feel tired, drained, and dull. Your actions breed resentment and anger in your life, and you find yourself playing the victim role of “others don’t care about me”, “I’m taken advantage of”, and even “No one will support me in that.”

Serving

Now imagine a host; a person who has invited her most revered and beloved guests into her home.

She is honored by their presence and delights in what they bring to the table, their unique contribution to the conversation. She is generous in what she offers them and does so out of Love.

Because they are her cherished guests, she is kind, patient and considerate of them. She offers them what she has learned they most love and earnestly wants to provide for their needs. She takes in account their individual personalities and preferences to create an experience they will enjoy.

She sees everyone, including her, as exceptional and equal in their own right and this is reflected in both her actions toward them and toward herself. Because of this she feels love, has more energy, and isn’t afraid to ask for what she needs.

Behavior and Intention

The describable actions of the servant and the host might be the same:

  • Both may prepare and offer food
  • Both may clean and organize
  • Both may listen and talk
  • Both may support and help
  • Both may be in charge of important and delicate matters

But the intentions behind their actions set them apart.

One is being used. One is making a genuine, generous, loving offer.

Both are making a choice.

In your life, in your family, in your work…what choice do you most often make?

Ask yourself: Am I serving or being a servant?

Photo Credit