Patterns of Messiness

10 minutes to clean up...but only 5 to get dirty again ;) #rv #travel

Life has been interesting lately. Thankfully “interesting” is not code for “really overwhelming” or “downright shitty” although we’ve had those moments here or there. 😉

No, interesting in that we’re hitting a good stride, pieces are falling into place, while new challenges arise that actually don’t knock us senseless. We’ve been creating and recreating and the hubby and I both have tons of goodness coming to all of you this year.

The photo above is of the living area of our RV.

There’s a rocket project on the table, clean and dirty dishes in the sink, juggling props on the seat, piles of pillows and blankets on the couch (which has been almost permanently folded down into a bed for over a week). What you can’t see is the piles of clothing in our room or the piles of…well, piles of piles in Zeb’s.

Yes, it only takes us 5 minutes to straighten up and 30 to clean from top to bottom. But it only takes about as long to get it dirty again. 😉

This used to drive me batty.

Being a highly sensitive person, my exterior surroundings would seriously affect my interior surroundings. And they still do – I spent the morning cleaning up our room and we spent a few minutes last night tidying up the living area.

The more I practice my own mindfulness the smoother my day runs, the easier I take the (literal and figurative) “messy” parts of life in stride, the more grounded I can feel when Life happens (or threatens to topple down on us).

My biggest struggle is in allowing myself to create the space I need to practice the very things that help me to feel this way.

My pattern USUALLY goes like this:

  • Realize I need to fill my cup – badly
  • Go into Catch-up mode to love myself better
  • Feel amazing, empowered, productive and grounded
  • So amazing, empowered, productive and grounded that I forget I need to maintain this practice DAILY
  • Realize I’ve neglected myself again and try to catch up

I was talking with my girlfriends a couple weeks ago. We connect as a group on the phone nearly every week to collectively support one another in our personal and professional goals, and we took a moment to touch on the things that we get to do for ourselves right now as we focus on some deeper things.

As they were each sharing, it clicked for me that my goal of water-food-essential oils-walking-yoga-meditation-fun-downtime-unpluggedness was NOT what I was really needing.

All of those things spring organically from one place – my mindfulness and my commitment to meeting myself and Spirit in Stillness.

In short, what was a list I was about to rattle off to them became one thing – meditation.

Each and every day I meet that Stillness, the actions of drinking enough water or eating the right foods or getting up and moving or choosing to shut it all down or keeping up with the clutter happen organically.

I know this and yet I allowed myself to be distracted from it.


Stillness is where I see my next step clearly. Stillness is where I hear my Organic Wisdom speaking. Stillness is where I access my creativity and where all my best ideas come from. Stillness is where I THRIVE.

And I resist it.

And I resist doing the work to DIG IN to why I resist it.

Until I’m running on empty and coaching myself toward my own work again. (Funny how that happens. 😛 )

Right now I’m enjoying the quiet of the library (and fast wifi – hallelujah) and breathing and feeling grounded and productive because I took 10 minutes today to stretch and breath. I didn’t meditate. But I did choose mindfulness, my living meditation. And I’m feeling the affects.

I’m also feeling that whisper that asks, “Why do you resist what you know is so, so good?” And I’m stubbornly answering with “I’ll get to that later.

And I’m smiling at myself and the utter ridiculousness of human resistance and acknowledging the pattern…not just of the pattern of my own messiness but of learning what the messiness is still teaching me.

11 Signs Your Life Is Demanding Personal Growth {And It’s Time To Listen}

Close my eyes and leap

[This is Part 1 of 3 of a personal growth series. Part 2 & 3 below.]

The world is shifting. Our physical world is literally moving from under our feet. And our emotional and spiritual world is moving in our hearts.

Life is demanding internal growth from us in new and uncomfortable ways.

(I use the word “life” so that anyone from any background can resonate with my meaning. Feel free to insert “soul,” “spirit,” “Source,” “God,” or the name that best resonates with you.)

I don’t have the answers as to why it’s all happening now, nor do I think we need total understanding. But I see the shifting everywhere; it’s real, it’s intense and it’s big.

In fact, I don’t think I’ve spoken to a single soul recently that is not experiencing their own inner shifts.

People are splitting wide open. Old wounds are suddenly weeping. Crushing memories are resurfacing. Relationships are unfolding or recoiling or speaking to us in powerful new ways. Personal growth is yearning to be realized.

And it’s uncomfortable, sometimes downright painful.

I know this era of spiritual, emotional and personal growth is true. I’m experiencing it too. And it’s incredible.

As I said, I don’t think we need full understanding of this phenomenon or why it’s occurring in order to embrace it.

But I do think it’s time we fully embrace it.

11 Signs It’s Time To Listen

If this truth is resonating with you, that is probably sign enough that it’s time to embrace your own personal growth.

But in case you’re not sure, here are the top signs I’ve noticed around me that life is demanding our attention, and demanding it now.

  1. You are noticing patterns or themes emerging. If the same thing keeps popping into your head, your line of vision, or your conversations this is a really good sign it’s time to embrace it. It might be a book that keeps getting mentioned, a person being brought up or just an idea being repeated in unrelated places. Life insists until we listen or adamantly resist.
  2. Your past is suddenly haunting you. Maybe a comment or an event triggered a repressed memory or maybe these memories came out of nowhere. Whatever the case, they are here and they are insistent. When change is imminent, things that no longer serve you or that it’s time to heal will require your attention.
  3. You can’t stop emoting all over the place. It could be angry outbursts or uncontrollable crying. Whatever your emotions are doing, there is always a deeper reason and it’s very rarely that you’re “crazy.” Our emotions are a symptom of something moving beneath the surface.
  4. You feel unsettled, anxious or restless. You might be having a hard time focusing or sitting still. You might feel as though you’re vibrating with excitement. You may not know what is it but you definitely feel the push or pull. Change is exciting. It’s also nerve-wracking.
  5. You feel a bit like a yo-yo. Your moods can feel like polar opposites. One day you’re energized and motivated, the next you’re filled with fear or even despair. You can’t seem to keep an even keel. Your psyche is waffling between the old stories and the new.
  6. You feel like you’ve stepped into the ring with Muhammed Ali. And he’s just planted a hard one up side your head. Sometimes it’s a bit of truth about yourself you might have been blinded to or a revelation or inspiration that hits so hard it knocks you over. Either way the shock can leave you seeing stars.
  7. You keep feeling like you “want to go home”. But you’re not quite sure where it is that you’re talking about? This is such a common sign of upcoming personal growth calling your name, but it’s one that is rarely ever talked about. We intuitively know we belong somewhere else, even if we can’t name it.
  8. Something is just missing or not quite “right.” You can’t put your finger on it, but you know there is more out there than what you’re currently experiencing. These unsettling gut feelings are trying to lead us to it.
  9. You’re placating your need for personal growth with constant superficial changes.Rearranging the furniture, constantly changing your clothes (or your mind), feeling the need to buy something new, making new plans or drastically and quickly changing directions on current plans, always trying the next new thing and relentless, frenetic energy. When we’re uncomfortable with digging deep, we dig shallow.
  10. You just can’t let go. Something happened or someone said or did something; maybe it’s closely related to you and maybe it’s not. But you can’t seem to let it go. Your thoughts keep coming back to it and you can’t explain why. There is a message there if you listen for it.
  11. You are onto something amazing and life suddenly got really hard and messy. Welcome to the big leagues. This is where it gets fun. 😉

Keep in mind: some of these things are normal. All of them have the potential for greatness. Ultimately you will have to decide what they mean in your life.

But if Nature is correct, then all living things, ourselves including, are either growing or dying.

And as Robert Cooper said, that’s “largely a choice, not fate.”

Part Two: 5 Principles of Personal Growth to Absorb Right Now

Part Three: 8 Ways to Make Personal Growth Happen

Ask yourself: What has Life been trying to say to you?