Plans | The Organic Sister

Uncomfortable Limbo

May 26, 2009 By TheOrganicSister

I’m in this place. A place beyond description, although I still try. It’s a feeling of being unsettled, unsure, dissatisfied and frustrated. It’s a low mood and a spiteful tone and a cranky outlook. I’m not sure where it originates, nor why. I feel a slight inclination toward believing it has something to do with a state of Not Knowing, a place of Wanting and Waiting and Impatience.

I’m ready for More. Either more right where I am or more somewhere else. But I don’t know how long I’ll be where I am or when we might be somewhere else. And the anticipation feels like a bear wrestling within my bones, ready to bust out and tear me to shreds in the process. I want to do so much to this home and this garden, but it doesn’t feel right. I feel my intuition telling me to save my pennies for a sunnier day. And yet, waiting, hoping, wishing I knew what that day was, when it will arrive. I want to explode from all this conflict within me.

I want a plan; to know what to expect; to work toward something. But instead I feel stuck. Stagnant. Purposeless. For what is the purpose of sinking more money or energy into a house we could be out of in as little as six months. But what is the purpose of living here, uninspired and unhappy and not work toward making our arrangements as ideal as possible.

I flux between loving and hating this house.

There are days where it is my home and my heart breaks at the mere possibility of an unstable economy pushing us out. I hunker down and revel in its comfort. I enjoy it and I want to remain in it. I can’t imagine leaving the community we’ve built, the family we love, the friends we cherish.

Then there are days like today. Days when it feels like a trap. An unrelenting burden keeping us pinned down; like a beast sitting on my chest as I fight, powerlessly to get up. To breathe, even. It’s one thing to peacefully sit down. Quite another to be pushed to your knees. And as anyone forced to comply, I’m left in a fighting mood.

And here I’ve swung for several weeks, back and forth between determination to make this happen, making the best of it, growing where I’m currently planted; and feeling unsettled, out of control, anxious, uncertain and even depressed.

Justin said it best. “I’m ready to move.”

And yet, here I still sit, holding back emotion. Acquiescing to my circumstances. Trying to remain focused on what I can do, what brings me joy, what lifts this mood. Succeeding for a day or two. Failing for another. Back and forth between two places I don’t want to be.

This is harder than I imagined.

Filed Under: Organic Wisdom Tagged With: authenticity, change, choosing happiness, goals, home, plans, thefiveyearplan

Goodbye Darling

April 24, 2009 By TheOrganicSister 11 Comments

I watched my truck drive away last night. The insurance and title has been arranged and the new owners were anxious to take what was now theirs. I wasn’t sad to see it go, like I’ve been in the past over other vehicles, despite this being my first *brand-new* vehicle. I was really excited to know it was going to a great family, since it’s been such a great family vehicle for us.

I’m still adjusting to driving Justin’s truck. It’s a heavy-duty monster and I’m always afraid of parking lots or gas stations (the latter of the two being were I gave it it’s first dent – whoops). Although it’s a full size truck with a back seat, it’s still not much room so I need to simplify our “travel” gear. It’s also difficult to drive at night with it’s darkly tinted windows. But I do feel like a bad-ass driving it around town. I wonder if he’ll let me get a bumper stick that says “Real Women Drive Big Trucks”. Maybe a pink, fluffy steering wheel cover, too? ha One great thing about his truck is the smaller space is easier to cool with the A/C in the summer. Not that we’ll really be saving much on gas; it’s not as efficient as the SUV.

We are saving MUCH more on other things though! Without the SUV’s payment, insurance, registration and maintenance I figured we’re saving nearly $800 a month!! I’m seriously fighting the urge to feel like I’m rolling in it. My friend asked me what we’re going to do with all that money. Long-term savings is obviously our first goal, but within that goal are some things we’d like to save up for – like orthodontic care for me and Zeb. It’s awesome that we can pay cash for it now! Other than our house payment, we’re out of debt!!! That’s so awesome.

Between the truck and cutting the cable we’ve increased our monthly savings to $840. Plus there are some other things I’ve been working on that I’ll share soon too. Looks like all my financial brainstorming is paying off. (No pun intended.)

Anyone else feeling some financial successes lately? Any creative income going on – like this guy’s idea?

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: change, frugal living, goals, plans

Brainstorming (or I Love To Make Lists)

March 27, 2009 By TheOrganicSister 19 Comments

Thanks for all the feedback on my last post. The consensus seems to be there is no harm in preparation. And forgive me for saying I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling a doomsday scenario coming on. Okay, maybe not doomsday, but I still have all these horrible images in my mind depicted by Dmitry Orlov who is likening the USA to Russia right before its collapse and had plenty to depict what that might (will?) look like for us and what could be done about it. You can read all his comparisons and predictions here. Can we say yikes?!

Justin and I are still discussing it all. We’ve been talking about ways to earn extra money or save money. We are leaning strongly towards getting a piece of land asap, regardless of whether we move there this year or not. At least we’d have it if we needed it. There has been a new twist, thanks in part to Denise and Lisa. Justin has family both in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Family with farms and cows. Family with a long history in the area. Family that are apparently part Hothian (thanks Zeb for the Star Wars reference). Talk about a climate shock. How does a scrawny desert rat survive the bitter cold winter up north? I barely survive it here!

But I digress. It’s still just talk (with occasional meanderings through land sale sites) at this point. We have bigger fish to fry at the moment. Like the money thing. I love to brainstorm, mostly because it leads to more list making. And if you couldn’t tell by looking to your right, I really enjoy my lists. I could create page after page of lists; anything from famous last words (“They couldn’t hit an elephant from this distance.” ~ John B Sedgwick), to how you know you’re from Vegas. I especially love lists that allow me to cross things off, which brings me back to this list and all the things we can probably (and most definitely) nix at the gate. So here goes; our brainstorming session on all the ways we could make money (some tongue-in-cheek, I swear).

We (he or I or both together) could:

Work on motorcycles or bicycles
Offer handyman services
Take any overtime possible (he’s got some tomorrow! yay!)
Install irrigation and raised beds for others
Donate sperm (all Justin there)
Donate other bodily stuffs
Green people’s homes
Garden maintenance
Clean houses (BLEH)
Sell seedlings and seeds
Gigolo or call girl
Photographer
Rent a room
Rent out storage space in our home
Sell extra produce
Male stripper
Loctician
Selling crap vintage finds online
Selling handmade goods on Etsy
Mystery Shopper
Errand Runner
Professional hitman Who put that in there???
On-location car washer
Work at Wal-Mart Who put THAT in there???
Petcare or pooper scooper
Childcare (or pooper wiper)
Medical guinea pig
Advertising on the blog
Write a book (my husband has such faith in me!)
Certified massage and bodyworker (my former life)

So many thoughts on that list, no desire to bore you with them.

Ways to save money are a bit harder. We’re pretty darn frugal as it is. There are few “extras” we have and little we don’t take advantage of: we only shop second-hand; we don’t use credit cards; we meal plan and grocery shop with a list; we use a budget; we take advantage of our library; we drive slow; I’m just incredibly cheap. But we did come up with some ideas on how to save money:

Cut the (basic) cable
Cancel the (basic) home phone
Skip that whole “eating” thing
Or at least simplify our meals
Give up beer Nevermind. Not well received.
Stop eating out completely (or order appetizers and water if we do)
Become (even more?) fanatical about energy usage
Become a coupon cutter (eep!)
Mooch Have dinner with family. Mom?
Barter garden produce
Barter other things
Reevaluate our insurance plans/needs
Doing yoga at home If he keeps his homebrew…
Sell the second vehicle
Refinance the house
Downsize our living arrangements, if selling is at all possible

There must be things we’re missing in either category. Throw it at me! The more ridiculous, the better!

Filed Under: Organic Living Tagged With: frugal living, goals, lists, money, plans, Playing, thefiveyearplan, work

Ten Months

March 25, 2009 By TheOrganicSister 24 Comments

I’ve been debating posting this. It’s a somewhat dark view of the future and most of it is just our thinking out loud. But I figure if Justin is right on, I’ll want proof my husband is psychic. And if he’s wrong, all the better! (He was dead-on by the way.)

Ten months. That’s what Justin is giving it until the SHTF in Las Vegas. Ten months until construction work is obsolete, until we’re stuck in a house we can’t pay for, until we get the hell outta dodge. Ten months until the unemployment rate in Vegas jumps, until casinos make more layoffs, until said casinos aren’t making enough to pay enough in taxes to keep our economy afloat. Ten months until the beginning of a completely new atmosphere out here.

He’s basing this on a few things. 1. There are no jobs (no mid-size to big projects – only piddly stuff) starting up right now. He’s at City Center along with thousands of other construction workers. According to him, a decent sized jobsite would need to break ground within the next couple of months for there to be work for him (or thousands of others) after this current job finishes in December and so far *nothing* is even in the planning stages. 2. Too many construction sites are stopping construction due to finances nd too many casinos are going bankrupt meaning less or no remodels, less taxes and less employees. 3. The out-of-work list is already thousands deep.

His thoughts? Work diligently for the next few weeks to sell my truck. If it doesn’t sell by the next payment, let it go. Ruin our credit, but save us an embarrassing amount of money each month (fyi: this was my work vehicle when I had my business but between his truck and his motorcycle, we could do without it now). After that do all we can to make extra money and drastically cut expenses even more to save all we can between now and “then”, whenever then might end up being. He’s even tossed out the idea of letting the house go and renting a tiny apartment or house. Oof. He wants to start looking now into places to move, buying our land this year and living out of a pop-up trailer or RV if necessary. So much for five years, huh?

Now, I will admit my husband is a “black or white”, “all-or-nothing” kinda guy. He has a tendency to jump to extremes when problem solving. But never, ever has he worried about work or jumped to extremes when it came to work or such big decisions. Never has he felt the need to. In fact it’s so rare for him to be considering things like this that despite the fact we’ll probably not need to start jumping to such extremes, I’m very inclined to trust his judgement on the seriousness of the matter.

The difficult part is that we won’t know if he’s right until it’s too late – either too late to make major changes or too late to undo any changes we make (like ruining our credit for nothing). Going into extreme mode when it comes to saving and earning money is simple to do now without major ramifications. But letting the truck go? Letting the house go??? I have serious ethical problems with both those options. I mean, if we couldn’t make payments then we gotta do what’s necessary. But we made an agreement to make payments and while we can I feel we should, ya know?

Right now we’re brainstorming ways to make money or cut expenses even further. We’ve come up with plenty of ideas; maybe I’ll share them later.

What do you all think? How is the economy affecting you and your decisions right now? Anyone else contemplating major (and fast) moves like this? Are we crazy to jump to such conclusions? Or would we be crazy not to?

Filed Under: Inspiration, Life on the Road Tagged With: economy, goals, Justin, plans, thefiveyearplan, work

Visualize With Me!

January 30, 2009 By TheOrganicSister 7 Comments

My laptop is home again, home again. Jiggety jig! I know you’ve been dying to actually SEE what we’ve been up to in the yard; or at least I’ve been dying to share. Get comfy; we’ll be here a minute.

First of all, we finished the fence. Justin was not happy with the way it turned out (his own worst critic + scrap material = something he’s not proud to say he did) so in order to “camoflauge” the mix and match pieces we painted/stained it. See?

I’ve also finished the irrigation and started “construction” of the pathways. Irrigation is a must when you only get 4 inches of rainfall a year. Not the most sustainable but the best we can do out here. The rocks we’re using are all the rocks dug up in our yard when planting or fixing busted lines, etc. Each “coil” of irrigation line will contain our little permaculture gardens or “zones” – watermelons, squash, corn, beans, anything that does not need a raised bed.

Can you see what I see? The beauty of what is to come!? No? Here let me help you

Aren’t she beautimous? The trellis in the back will hold heavier climbers, like melon or squash or whatever I can get up there. Along the front is planted our rose bushes and will also contain wildflowers, native flowers, honeysuckle and other pretties to attract the bees and hummingbirds and butterflies. Around the tree we placed blocks to protect the trunk from the sheet mulching. I will most likely plant herbs or maybe strawberries inside the blocks.

Moving up along our driveway you can see the next section with all the paths and “Zones” for veggies and herbs and such.

Here’s what I see:

That black box back there is the solar oven Justin has been working on (only needs its reflectors!). You can see where my corn will likely go this year on the right and one of the pomegranate trees off in the corner.

Here’s the view from the front door out to the street and a better view of the paths we’re making out of our rock collections.

A better view…

The trellis to the left will hold lighter climbers (it’s a lighter-weight trellis; the other side is a heavy-weight) such as flowers and perhaps cukes or something. I want to try to keep the walkway up the driveway and the area along the sidewalk mostly floral, so it looks and smells nice and no one is tempted to sample without asking first.

Here’s the view standing by the gate to the backyard. (I’m only showing you the unadorned ones so you can see how I did the irrigation lines.)

Here it is beautified.

Here are the pomegranates trees. You can see in this photo how difficult of a time I had getting that damn tubing uncoiled. Okay, maybe you can’t but I know.

And again cuz I can’t resist.

That’s a container in blue because it looks like it will be an empty spot without enough water. I’m thinking maybe my moth beans will be good in containers since I most assuredly forget to water containers.

Here are the fruit trees in the backyard after being wrapped in irrigation tubing.

Bear with me.

I’m hoping to add strawberries and/or asparagus under the canopies to act as a living mulch. That brown things in the back will be new raised beds, probably for winter depending on the shade from the trees over the next few years.

And then my beauty. My ginormous raised beds, primarily for tomatoes. Ain’t she a beaut? It’s located just to the right of my fruit trees in the above picture. I’d like to say the E shape holds some sort of symbolism being the first letter of my deceased father’s last name, but it’s not. It was really just the most space efficient design I could come up with for that area and it’s irrigation heads. (Sorry Dad.) The containers will be moved when I find a space for them.

Jimeny Christmas, it certainly is a beautiful picture I see everytime I look outside. If you’ve taken yard photos or photos of plans-to-be, I want to see!