My sweet man lost his mother last week, and in the worst way possible. 2000 miles away, he had to make the call to take her off life support. Because death doesn’t just slap you; when it gets the chance, it goes for the sucker punch. Continue reading “Life is a Really Strange Beast. Death is Even Stranger.”
I’ve been hyper-conscious of this in my own life lately. It’s been coming up in the Sisterhood, in my meditations, with friends, with Justin and Zeb. It even came up at the end of my post last week on Celebrations.
How often I am actually in the present moment and all it offers, versus trying to “capture” the present moment?
Over the past few months I’ve noticed how much tension is actually created when I’m not present to This Moment. It was so unnoticed before, when I was Anywhere But Here. Not only did I not see myself elsewhere, I didn’t see the affect it had on me either. The more I’m slipping down this Spiritual Rabbit Hole of witnessing and meditating and (you guessed it) Surrender, the more I’m noticing things I just didn’t get before.
Like, uh, how often I’d take a photo of something for Instagram, essentially inviting the whole world into my sacred moments. How can I call those sacred anymore?
I’ve been very conscious also of the fact that the truly sacred moments create pretty shitty photos. They don’t look magical or perfectly primped. And I can’t capture the real essence of their experience because the experience is happening solely within. Like when I am still and sitting in a dark parking lot and not really doing anything at all.
Even taking that photo broke the magic of it for me. It took me out of the present moment. Got my mind thinking. Stirred up noise within the stillness.
I find my mind wanting to take photos though – photos of my meditation, photos of my yoga practice, photos of my quiet contemplative walks, photos of my great conversations (the one where I’m actually connecting with this wonderful person in front of me) – and then hearing very clearly that Organic Wisdom speaking, asking me why the hell I would take myself out of this moment, why would I break the sacredness that is happening?
Am I bragging? Trying to capture something that I’m afraid of losing? Am I really truly present? Obviously not, if my mind is taking me to something other than this right here, taking me away from this person in front of me that I’m deeply engaging with, even when that person is Me, and inviting in the whole world instead.
And then, of course, the question to play with is this: How do I find that sweet spot between being present in this moment and still capturing the moment forl ater? How do I create these little snippets that we love to look back on without missing the very thing they are offering me – Presence?
This Presence thing is a life-changing thing. I didn’t get that when I thought I was being present, when I was really only present to my thoughts about the past or the future or what I need to capture (or just simply what I need to do tomorrow).
Presence has allowed me to hold a vision for my work brighter and bigger than I ever would before, something that has the potential to freak me out if I allow myself to go out of the present moment and into the past What-If’s or future How-the-Hell’s.
Presence has allowed me to diffuse (because what do we bicker about without drudging up the past or projecting into the future), allowed me to experiment and play and enjoy others because I”m nowhere else but here with them.
Presence has allowed me to say Yes! with enthusiasm and without doubt, without worrying if I could or should or have enough time.
Trusting that each present moment – whether its a parenting moment, a business moment, a partner moment, a self-care moment – will take care of itself if I just continue to show up fully present to it.
P.S. Interestingly enough, I wrote this post two weeks ago, long before we decided in the Sisterhood that Presence would be our Guiding Word and theme for August. I love those kind of synchronicities, don’t you? The word was chosen to allow us to move into August, traditionally a month of transition, with more mindfulness and presence to the moment and what it’s offering. If you’d like to join us through this experience, we’d love to welcome you.
A lot has happened since I experienced my perspective shift toward receiving.
I’ve experienced such an incredible insurge of insight and experience in the matters of support, creating tribes and the intertwining acts of creating our worlds.
There is no separating these exchanges from Who We Are. We give. We receive. We shine.
Sometimes the exchange feels big – an A-ha moment that rocks your world, the purchase of something that brings beauty into your life, a new commitment or change.
Sometimes it feels pretty small – a tip left for the waiter, a smile to a stranger, a phone call from a friend.
But more and more I’m recognizing one of the greatest gifts to give or receive IS the most simple: Our presence.
Holding Space + Vision With Our Presence
My Visionary Mom team is wrapping up this month and I can undoubtedly say the women I’ve come to love on this team will be a part of my life for some time to come. We’ve laughed and cried, voiced our anger and fears and victories. We’ve shared advice, resources, tools and ideas with each other to help accomplish our dreams.
But it’s come to all of us in the past few days that perhaps the greatest gift we’ve given to each other is not so tangible.
We’ve created and held sacred a wide open space for one another to Be, to dream, to discover and to create.
But even more incredible is what is held within that space:
A vision of “Who You Are”.
This is such a gentle, careful thing. Without expectations or attachments, we just hold in our hearts an image of the other person – an image of strength, of beauty, of authenticity, of the incredible women we are.
In my darkest hours or deepest and messiest challenges, it was this space and this vision that moved me through.
When I felt I lost my hold on my own light, my own vision, my own strength, I was reminded that they were holding it for me. It never went travels from me, because those around me never let it go.
The Opposite is Also True
The space and image we hold for someone can be freeing and empowering for them….or it can be incredibly limiting.
We can hold an image of someone that is negative: an image of brokenness, of unhappiness, of pain, of being wrong.
Or we can hold an image based on our own expectations, based on what we want or think is best but that does not resonate with the other person.
And that image can shape their beliefs of Who They Are, what they are capable of doing and where they are going.
It can feel just as slight as an affirming image, so much so that we don’t realize we’re doing it.
- She’s never happy.
- Oh, he’s just like that. That’s just the way he is.
- They are always wrapped up in drama.
It doesn’t matter if we feel it’s true. It’s still constricting.
We do this with more than just labels, though; we do it with our expectations, with our limiting beliefs of what is possible and with our fears.
- I don’t think he’ll follow through.
- Here we go again….
- You’re not being practical.
- But you could be hurt!
In the same way an affirming or positive image never travels far from me, a negative image never travels far either.
Your ideas of Who They Are are always there to be accessed, remembered and absorbed by them.
And the closer you are to that person – a parent or child, a lover, a close friend – or the more vulnerable a place they are in, the more your image of them will have an impact.
What Are You Holding?
In the past few weeks, I’ve have been more consciously holding space and vision for those I know and love or with whom I come in contact.
With my son, whom I tend to worry about. With my husband, whom I tend to help too much. With my mom, my friends, my clients.
Sometimes the shift is incredible: Zeb has felt the freedom I’ve created by holding that space and vision for him and he’s flourishing in it. (Yes. It was only my fear that was holding him back before.)
Sometimes the shift is in my internal processing: I feel freedom, compassion and wisdom in my own course of action when I’m approaching life without these limitations.
But even if the only thing to shift is our own perspectives, we’re still on the right track. Because our perspectives shift everything. 🙂
I’m Holding This For You.
My intention with this blog is to promote my message of Being Organic.
I talk a lot about what that looks like in my own life, but I have no idea of what that will look like in your life.
Some of my Truth – organic learning, organic living, minimalism, authenticity, unconditional compassion, autonomy – will resonate with you. Some of it won’t. And that’s okay.
I don’t need to know Who You Are in order to hold a space and vision for you.
I just need to know one simple truth:
You are wise and wonderful. And you shine best when you remember that.
I’m holding space here for you, a vision of that in you. You are welcome to access that space and that vision anytime you need to remember. 🙂