On Trusting Our Kids (and Their Candy)

Halloween Booty

This is the candy Zeb got from two trunk-or-treat events and one night of trick-or-treating.

Or I should say it’s all the candy he has left.

From Friday through Tuesday he probably ate another grocery bag full. Because of all the sugar in his system he ate little else during that time.

Was I worried? No.

Okay, for a minute there on Tuesday I began to wonder. And we certainly had a discussion or two and offered him plenty of other foods.

But mostly I just waited.

Was it hard? Yes. Even though I trust Zeb to find his own limits and listen to his own body, that little Bad Parent voice tends to chirp up and ask “What will other people think?” I’m pretty proud of how well I told that voice to shut it’s trap.

Because no matter what common parental rules dictate, I know a happy, healthy child will not choose candy forever.

I know my child rarely chooses to eat that much candy. I know all humans will experiment with their own limits. And I know Zeb needed to experiment with his own.

And sure enough Tuesday evening he put his pillowcase of candy away and hasn’t touched it since.

He has instead requested and had all the food his body thrives on:

  • salmon
  • cod
  • nearly a gallon of grass-fed raw milk
  • tomatoes with sea salt
  • lots of water
  • oatmeal
  • green smoothies
  • grass-fed beef
  • (Oh, he also bought himself a hot dog at the park, but said it didn’t really hit the spot.)

Halloween is fun. Candy is fun. Sugar is fun.

And our kids should have fun.

They should also be allowed to decide and learn for themselves their own limits. And we should be okay with those choices, even when they don’t match our own choices.

Our kids don’t have to have our own value system or beliefs. It doesn’t always need to make sense to us. We don’t even need to be comfortable with all their choices.

We just need to trust that they will do what makes sense to them.

Because they always will.

What’s been your experience with Halloween candy?

Real Food On The Road

Breakfast of Champions
Breakfast of Champions

I’m not into food dogma, the “rules” that say if you eat this you’ll be healthy and live longer and if you don’t eat it you’ll live a miserable, disease-ridden life. And sadly, I’ve heard nearly those exact words.

What I am into is “instinctual” eating: tuning into your body and eating what makes you feel best at any given moment. Unfortunately, I think many of us lose those instincts amongst the myriad of fear-based teachings, blatant misinformation and cultural bias (as well as upbringings that taught us tings like The Clean Plate Club and extrinsic control of our bodies). I’ve found it important to research all sides, try things on for size and choose what makes sense to me.

I also feel within the bigger picture of Life there is no “right” or “wrong” and I often wonder if we’re all so determined to find a fountain of youth because we’re really just afraid of death.

All that being said, the three of us instinctively gravitate towards what is commonly referred to as “real foods”. The definition of that is somewhat obvious: no processed or genetically-modified foods, but also lots of fruits and veggies, pastured meats, fermented foods (like sauerkraut) and so on. On top of that, I personally feel fantastic when I avoid gluten the it’s Black Death (which it tends to feel like) and eat enough grass-fed beef to keep my joints feeling fantastic.

We also tend to eat seasonally. Summertime means mostly raw fruits and veggies with a small amount of pastured meats and very little dairy. In the winter I crave heavier meals, more meats and potatoes and lots of raw dairy. Zeb and Justin are fairly similar to me, but their meat consumption stays about the same year-round and Justin’s body never wants dairy.

I do feel there are foods that have been created to warp the hell out of our instincts, things like appetite-enhancers, sugars and bad fats can confuse us into wanting more initially. But I’ve found that if we indulge those cravings with both good and bad sources, our bodies will learn from the contrast and naturally desire the best versions for our needs.

Some things that make sense to us:

  • We need fat: Kids especially need a lot of fat, but so do adults. It’s good for our brains, our joints, cell production and our reproductive systems. Not all fats are bad.
  • Sugar is not the enemy: Sure processed sugar leaves us craving more, but that doesn’t make things like honey bad. And I do think our bodies can tell the difference between real and processed sugars given the opportunity to learn.
  • It’s as much in our heads as our stomachs: Things like fear, judgment, and personal issues around food – or gratitude, enjoyment and consciousness – create and prevent more disease than any one way of eating.

Yes, I feel we’re omnivores by nature. Yes, Real Foods make sense to me. Yes, I totally respect when something completely different makes sense to other people. Diversity is beautiful! What I don’t respect (and don’t tolerate on my blog) is the bullshit condemnation thrown around by certain foodie groups. Seriously, that kind of hatred or judgment is going to kill you long before the worst of foods possibly could.

Real Food On The Road

Now on to the topic at hand: Finding real food sources while traveling hasn’t been easy. Sometimes we’re stuck with a local supermarket (or ::gasp:: Walmart Supercenter).

We especially enjoy eating locally, like trying crawfish in Louisiana, eats brats in Wisconsin and Tex-Mex in New Mexico. And we do what we can for the rest:

  • Local Harvest hasn’t been as helpful as we had hoped. CSA’s aren’t usually open to transients and farmer’s markets keep falling on the days we’re not passing through. But it’s a resource, regardless.
  • Farmer’s markets are our best bet when we can find them. We stock up on things like freezable meat and cheese when we can.
  • Green People helps us find local (and sometimes tiny) health food stores, especially useful for resupplying things like gluten-free items.
  • Connecting with locals has been key. They know the farms and farmers and neighbors with an abundance of backyard chickens.
  • When we have no other option but a nearby Walmart, here’s what we choose:
    • avoid the Dirty Dozen
    • avoid any animal products
    • choose lots of fruits and veggies (occasionally we can find organic items, like greens or tomatoes)
    • choose unprocessed grains, like rice or quinoa
    • Zeb and Justin have found the few loaves of bread free of HFCS (Nature’s Own and Oroweat)
    • comb the aisles for the occasional display of organic or gluten-free “specialty” items

Of course we also have to meet the needs of a very selective 11 year old, a gluten-free eater and, well, Justin will eat whatever. Some examples of our most common meals:

  • Rice and veggies (can’t get much more simple than that)
  • Salads with pastured chicken
  • Gluten-free pasta with either spaghetti sauce and grass-fed beef, or my personal fave, cooked greens, cooked cherry tomatoes and feta cheese.
  • Grilled cheese and tomato soup (I tend to just eat the soup)
  • Tacos! Everybody loves tacos and they can include beans or pastured meat depending on availability

There are some things we have little option over with such a small space. We obviously don’t grow our own food. ;) We don’t make a lot of soups or stocks, soaked grains or sprouted items. Perhaps if our kitchen space included a real counter we would.

It’s not as though any of these things would be impossible in an RV, even in our tiny RV. It’s that we’ve found we can eat whole, pastured and mostly unprocessed foods without the extra time or energy by keeping things simple. And with so much going on while we travel, we like simple a lot.

Do Real Foods Interest You?

Did you know that certain veggies shouldn’t been eaten raw in excess or things like tomatoes and other veggies can exacerbate joint issues? Are you interested in learning why meat should always be pastured, cholesterol and saturated fats are good for you and what constitutes Living Foods and Superfoods?

Food Renegade has a phenomenal learning tool for self-education. It was created with homeschooling kids in mind, but I found it useful for myself and learned so much I hadn’t known before. It really reaffirmed a few things I had been feeling, like why my body didn’t seem to like raw spinach. I don’t support it as a curriculum for kids who aren’t interested in learning about it, but I wholeheartedly support it as a resource for anyone wanting to know more about traditional foods, preparation and even how to eat real food on a budget.

Food Renegade is also offering a Fall E-Course for those interested in learning even more. Full of videos, materials and activities to engage you, the course promises to leave a lasting impression in a fun, dynamic way. Here’s a sneak peek:

Lesson 1:1 Food, Not Nutrients from FoodRenegade on Vimeo.

Again, it was originally designed for homeschooling kids in mind, but it’s open and welcoming to interested adults. Remember, Real Food advocates can be dogmatic, too! Read, research and learn for yourself and apply what fits your body.

And please: If you’re interested in having your kids learn this, but they aren’t interested, don’t force it. We all do what makes sense to our own bodies in any given moment and I find it crucial to validate our children where they are. But I highly recommend learning yourself! Be a life-long learner, soak up the information that is valuable to you and integrate it into your lives in a passionate (but not forceful) way! Be a conduit of information for your kids, bringing knowledge into your home and allowing them to gravitate toward it if it makes sense for them. :)

*These are affiliate links: resources, products or services I enjoy and recommend based on my personal standards. If you purchase from these links, you will help to support my family and my love for blogging at no additional cost to you. Thank you!

Skillet Tostadas

I’ve found that the fewer dishes we use in food prep the better, so I’m all over “skillet” meals right now (which aren’t always made in a skillet, but should always be made in one pan).

I found this recipe in my Anyone Can Cook* cookbook. (Yes, I have a cookbook named Anyone Can Cook; yes, I always think of Ratatouille when I see it; yes, I’ve proven them wrong a few times.) It’s a pretty rad little book, as it explains everything. And it has pretty pictures. The skillet tostadas in their picture looked way yummier than mine, but I love this recipe because it can be done as simply as I prefer and it’s easy to modify it to our personal health standards.

Skillet Tostadas

Easy Skillet Tostadas

  • 8 oz sustainable, pastured ground beef, pork, chicken or turkey
  • 1/2 cup chopped onions (1 medium)
  • 1 15-oz can light red kidney beans, black beans or pinto beans (whole or refried)
  • 1/3 cup salsa
  • 1 cup shredded cheese
  • 8-16 tostada shells
  • Seasonal toppings: Shredded or baby greens, diced tomato, sour cream, avocado, black olives, etc
  1. In a 10 inch skillet cook the ground meat and onion until meat is brown and onion is tender. Drain fat and stir in the beans, salsa, and cheese and heat until the cheese is melted and the beans are hot.
  2. Slather the shells with sour cream, divide the mixture between them and add your favorite toppings.

Depending on availability of sustainable meats, we might make ours vegetarian. We add whatever sounds good and they are super yummy. The biggest problem is finding healthy tostada shells. You can always make your own by frying organic corn shells. Or you can cheat, which we’ve had to do.

The number of shells depends on how much of the beans/meat mixture you use and how high you pile on the veggies. We usually end up making plenty with this recipe.

Have any other one-skillet recipes for me?

*This is an affiliate link through Amazon. Anything you purchase using this link sends a small portion of the price to us, at no additional cost to you.

Happy Kids Make Healthy Choices

Between Halloween and the upcoming holidays, my thoughts are currently revolving around food and dietary choices and instinctual eating, especially in regards to Zeb.

We do not restrict his diet in any way. Nope, not even a little bit.

We shop at all-natural stores and fill the house with whole foods. But when we grocery shop I take him to a chain grocery store if he requests and buy whatever he wishes. He experiments and he makes healthy choices based on his own findings.

  • Last month he wanted sugary cereal; the antithesis of every mother’s whole foods wish list. For three weeks he picked out boxes of cereal, from Cinnamon Toast Crunch to Trix. They were his breakfast and snack choices. Except the last box of Trix still sits abandoned in our cupboard and he’s back to eating whole foods.
  • Halloween candy was enjoyed by all of us. He chose to give most of it to the Halloween Fairy in exchange for a Lego she left. But she always leaves the candy behind too and it’s still sitting there, untouched.

Fruit Bowl
Zeb loves to have a “fruit bowl” on hand when he’s playing games or building Legos.

  • A couple weeks ago he craved ice cream, so I purchased half a pint just for him. He had half a bowl and hasn’t touched the container since. At parties or holidays he rarely has more than a bite of ice cream or cake.
  • His doctor has told him to avoid corn of any kind (from HFCS to chips). At first this annoyed him (he loves tortilla chips) but slowly he decided to stop eating it. He says he feels better and his throat isn’t so congested in the mornings.

Currently, his favorite foods are artichokes, pomegranates, raw cheese and milk, mangoes, gluten-free spaghetti, carrots, green smoothies, pizza and kiwis.

Is he the anomaly? The exception to the Sugar-Is-Addictive rule?

No. At least I don’t think so.

Monkey Platter
Monkey Platters are a fave: A tray with crackers, cheese, fruit and other snacks readily available for munching make snacks easy and self-serving.

Kids make healthy choices when they are allowed to experiment and listen to their bodies. I’ve seen this in Zeb and many, many other kids. Yes, some foods have addictive qualities, especially refined sugars. But I’m a firm believer in the emotional addictiveness of food, over the physical.

Children who are overly limited, told when to eat and what, those expected to be part of the Clean Plate Club, all grow up with befuddled messages around food. They confuse their bodies signals with the signals of their parents or culture.

But kids raised within the safety of healthy family end up with a healthy self-image. Kids who’s decisions and trials are supported learn to choose wisely at a young age. Children who’s parents do not attach guilt, blame or negative emotion to food learn to enjoy eating and will allow their bodies to naturally gravitate toward healthy foods.

Our bodies want healthy foods. But our emotions may tell us otherwise.

Green Smoothie
He likes green smoothies more than I do:
Half spinach and half citrus fruits with a bit of water.

All that is needed to instill a healthy relationship with food is Trust and guidance. Filling our homes with balanced, nutritious foods, creating family rituals of eating together in laughter and peace, showing appreciation for our meals and TRUSTING and SUPPORTING our children when they want to experiment with other routes.

A healthy, happy child (physically and emotionally) will and should experiment. And a healthy, happy child will always find what is best for them.

Hmm…

I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe we should worry less about what is going into their bellies, and more about what is going into their hearts.

I just want to feel good.

It’s not something I’ve really blogged about because it’s been something I haven’t wanted to focus on myself. But it’s one of those constantly infiltrating facts in all I do.

I don’t feel good. Increasingly so over the past few months. And the excitement of moving has really drained me empty. I wake up exhausted, I spend my day with little energy, then I can’t fall asleep. No appetite, moody, body aches and pains. Not. Good. At. All.

Long story short: I do not want to spend a year or more traveling the country, meeting interesting people and experiencing new things or investigating possible new homes with no energy or not feeling well. So I went to my homeopath a couple weeks ago who did some tests and told me the following:

  • I have Adrenal Fatigue.  I was actually told this a long time ago when I first stopped working and thought time would be enough to heal it. It wasn’t and it’s much worse than before.
  • My liver is not functioning as well as it should be. Wasn’t expecting this one.
  • I’m wheat, corn and gluten sensitive. This still makes me want to cry. I never knew I had a favorite food until I was told I should give up pasta. :(

These are the things I’m doing right now to help:

  • Iodine supplementation: Iodine deficiency is linked to adrenal fatigue. I’m using liquid iodine as a dermatological supplement. I rub it on my belly each night and it’s fully absorbed by morning.
  • Green smoothies: Half spinach and half citrus fruits, the blended greens are absorbed much better into my body. (The FIRST day I did a huge green smoothie and within hours I had the WORST detox migraine ever.)
  • Homeopathics: One for fatigue, one for adrenal support and one for a liver detoxification.
  • Other supplements: a daily vitamin and mineral complex, a B complex and fish oil.
  • A gluten- and corn-free diet. :(
  • More water. Um, I’m pretty certain the one or two glasses I manage to drink now aren’t enough.

Changing my diet has been the hardest, of course. I never realized just how many of our meals rely on gluten. Gluten-free grains don’t really excite me. And Justin and Zeb don’t want to be subjected to the same diet (Well, we’re already corn-free because of Zeb’s sensitivities. He self-moderates and chooses his own level of comfort in eating corn or corn products but in family meals we choose corn-free options.).

My first gluten-free meal left a lot to be desired. Grilled cheese and tomato soup. The GF bread was so dense the cheese wouldn’t melt and the soup was tasteless. However, I have found Tinkyada’s Brown Rice Pasta, which Justin now prefers over regular pasta and I’m compromising with corn tortilla’s because brown rice tortillas…leave something to be desired. But overall I think my success is going to rely on very few gluten-substitutes.

Once I’ve been gluten-free for awhile I’m going to give a slow-rise sourdough a try, as explained on Weston A Price’s website.

It hasn’t been easy. In fact, there have been at least a few moments of such complete frustration and anger over the matter. BUT after only three days, I woke up with energy and felt energetic all day! I can’t honestly recall the last day I felt so good. It didn’t last long but it’s been a huge motivation to keep going, even if rather slowly.

I just keep telling myself that it’s a choice and I’m choosing one day at a time. I can choose whatever I want and change my mind whenever I want.. And right now, I just want to feel good.