The Carousel of Leaving

April 10, 2011 By 17 Comments

Carousel of Time

I feel like I’ve been here before, this familiar but different place. It’s transition, known and unknown to us.

We’ve already said our goodbyes a year ago, but only for the year. It was difficult but exciting. And now we’re embarking for the last time and with no plans for return. And it’s not exactly difficult but the excitement is not quite the same.

There’s no fanfare, no newness to our departure this time. And yet this time it feels more like goodbye to us.

Just a few weeks ago I recorded my grandparent’s talking about their childhood, how they met and their life together. And then last night, as we joined them for dinner, I saw time fold upon itself as their past and the present showed itself to me as one carousel.

I saw Justin and I sitting across the table from our own grandchildren, looking back on our own life and all we created. I saw how quickly the seasons go round and thought thoughts that break my heart.

We’re tying up the loose ends now, packing our bicycles on the back of our new home, sending off for new birth certificates that will arrive after we are gone, receiving driving lessons from the people we love and spending our last moments with parents and grandparents.

Yes, we’ve been here before, but this is different.

I feel as though I’m moving round and round, up and down as I realize my dizzying lack of focus or productivity is really my own dragging feet and attempt at distraction, torn between the road ahead and the pain of saying goodbye again and possibly really meaning it this time.

This is life; changing, yet cyclical. Dizzying unless you take the time to really notice what passes by.

Filed Under: Life on the Road, People I Love Tagged With: , , , , ,

Inspiration Monday – The Grand Tour!

February 28, 2011 By 37 Comments

Oh yeah, baby, the Jazz is (almost) ready to roll! The art is (mostly) all hung and our things are (practically) all moved in.

Wanna see me and Justin act like goofballs, sing, dance and give the Grand Tour? :D

And All That Jazz! from Tara Wagner on Vimeo.

Yup, pretty much inspiring the dignity out of me. :)

Some other inspirational stuff I want to share:

Justin and I have a busy week(s) ahead of us. We’re finishing up the last minute details of getting back on the road AND we’re co-writing an e-book for Sustainable Baby Steps! :)

So, I might be sparse on the blog and time sucks Facebook and Twitter for a tiny bit. But I’m still available by email and still scheduling a few coaching sessions.

And I’ll be back soon with more awesome sauce for you gorgeous people. In the meantime….

What’s inspiring YOU?

Filed Under: Inspiration, Life on the Road Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Inspiration Monday – Almost There

February 7, 2011 By 16 Comments

Jazzy Jazz

Meet Jazz. Also know as Jazzy Jeff or Spazzy Jazz or any other combination of Jazzy words. :)

Jazz is our new home, a 31 foot 2007 Thor Jazz 5th wheel. You can see all the Before photos here.

Yes, Jazz is solar-powered. And the truck, which Zeb has named The Black Pearl, is running on waste veggie oil. We have more storage and more space and I’m going to have a dedicated desk again! It’s heaven. :)

There are no After photos yet. That’s because we’re not done. This week we’re hoping to finish up the details, such as removing those horrendous window valances and painting all that tan. We’ll be in Las Vegas as we finish that up with hopes of heading out in just a few sort weeks.

Right now I’m heading off to shop (oh dear Gd, help me) with Justin for the last components of our new home. And then we have some work to do!

It’ll be a busy week, so I’ll leave you with some inspiration:

I should note that I have every intention of continuing these Inspiration Monday posts. But I doubt I’ll do them every single Monday and I hope you’ll continue to carry on when I miss a week. :)

So, what’s been inspiring you lately?

Share your inspiration on your own blog post or in the comments below!

Filed Under: Inspiration, Life on the Road Tagged With: , , ,

The Map, The Pull, The Inspiration

May 2, 2010 By 24 Comments

Sunset Cruiser

It’s strange how quickly life can change. Wednesday will be two months that we’ve been on the road and I think we’re finally starting to settle into it. I think.

It’s not without its challenges, but such is life. And even during the worst moments, I can’t imagine anywhere else I want to be. Seeing as how I’ve never experienced such a deep sense of belonging, it seems ironic that I’d find it in a continual string of places I technically don’t belong.

These places on the map are not my home. And yet I feel at home.

Have you ever had the impending feeling of excitement? Like a kid waiting for the car to pull into Disneyland. You’re bubbling inside, ready to jump and whoop but your seatbelt is keeping you to a slight jitter in your seat instead.

That was me through most of April. I felt it approaching but the time wasn’t quite right to start jumping up and down. So I allowed it to jitter just beneath my skin.

About two weeks ago, it finally started spilling out. Inspiration. And it’s been steaming from my ears ever since.

I’ve been writing and creating and photographing and building. And it just keeps coming. Ideas and things toward which I feel an undeniable pull.

I’ve felt this pull before: with massage school, with my dreads, with this RV, and many other more personal moments that have forever changed and shaped the path my life is taking. Choices that are challenging and amazing and completely beyond my realm of understanding. And yet they always seem to work.

See, the thing is, I think this may be it. I think we may have found a place for us to be. And it’s not a spot on the map. It is the map.

I think.

And the only way we’ll know for sure that we’re heading in the right direction is if we can make a living while we make this life. And that’s what all this inspiration has been about: making a living out here on the road.

I have so many things to share in the coming months, things I’m working on and things I haven’t yet begun. A new website (!), an e-course, coaching, mobile services, maybe even an Etsy shop. One of these you’ll be seeing within a few days. :)

Yes, it’s a lot. And if you continue to not see me online much, you can know that I’m jumping up and down inside, whooping quietly to myself and enjoying every ride this amusement park has to offer.

Filed Under: Life on the Road, Organic Business Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Carlsbad Caverns (and exhaustion)

April 8, 2010 By 13 Comments

big room tour

Yes, it was amazing. Surreal, actually. A bit like being on a movie set (especially when you walk up on the diner and gift shop 750+ feet underground – seriously?). It *almost* “took my breath away”…but it’s not as if I can live there so it wouldn’t count anyway. :)

The formations were incredible and the information we all took away from the day is fairly immense. And we – including Zeb – can tell you the difference between the stalactite, stalagmite, soda straw, popcorn, column, flowstone and drapery formations, how each type was formed, as well as when the park was founded (1930), how our modern culture first discovered it (a 16 year old hiker following the bats) and what mountains of bat guano smell like (wet synthetic baby diapers).

column

We took one guided tour and walked the rest ourselves. I was much more impressed by the self-guided tours, namely the sheer size of the caverns. I couldn’t help but find the irony in the paved walkways and LED lights when the tour guide discussed how previous generations left burn marks on the rock and how we know better know than to disturb the area now. ;) And I discovered just how weak my knees were as we traversed down the switchbacks. Yikes.

natural entrance light

I’m still having a hard time at the end of the day. I’m emotionally, mentally and physically drained. And THAT is the exact moment when Zeb needs one-on-one time (or one-on-two time, since he prefers both our attentions). There are heavy moments when I don’t think I’m cut out for this lifestyle, but can’t imagine going back to a home. I know I need to strike a balance between downtime and “Going going going” but it’s hard when there is so much to see and do and we honestly don’t know how long we’ll have to do it. There is also a lot to be said about HOW we’re doing it that I think I’ll save for another post.

Our plan was and still is to find “a home” along the road. We’ve originally given ourselves one year to travel and search, but it seems impossible that we’ll feel “done” or ready to decide in just 11 short months with so much left unseen. I suppose we’ll just finally stumble across a place and not feel like leaving until one day we realize it’s our home. Until then the plan remains for the three of us to reevaluate the whole shebang at the end of 12 months. And maybe somewhere along the road I’ll hit my stride, fall out of “vacation mode” and find this isn’t so fucking exhausting after all.

More photos here and Justin’s account here.

Filed Under: Life on the Road Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,
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