Posts Tagged "self-doubt"


The Story of My Dream Car Almost Crushing My Dreams

I bought my dream car last week. The kind of car you give yourself permission to buy when you no longer tell yourself you have to be practical or realistic or whatever other stories I used to tell myself. I never counted on it being such a huge lesson in patience, determination, forgiveness, and self-love. That’s because I never counted on buying a manual. But as it turns out metallic blue, convertible Mini Coopers with my exact specifications AND with an automatic transmission are pretty rare. I know. I searched nationwide for what I wanted. We almost hopped planes to AZ, NJ, and southern FL to bring one home. But again and again the deets kept coming up bad – bad dealerships, bad CarFaxes, bad vibes man. So when one popped up in our neighborhood that was a manual, I figured we could at least go look at it and…

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On Showing Up and Rocking It (The Ricki Lake Recap)

It’s Saturday, two days after the show, and I’m still not totally with it. I’ve slept umteen hours and am still finding my footing, but I wanted to get this whole experience down before I forget it. To answer the most frequently asked question first: The airdate is April 17th on Fox, and you can signup here or here to get a reminder or watch the video we capture of it. The overarching vibe of the entire experience: amazeballs. I realized long before the show that this wasn’t about being on TV, or connecting with the beautiful Ricki (whose work I admire anyway). This was about me. It was about making a declaration to myself of self-approval and nonjudgment. About surrendering my desire to control and perfect, and instead forgiving myself my perceived shortcomings and “not enough-ness” by allowing myself to just own Who I Am. It felt like years…

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What Makes Us Scary to The Night?

What She is Made Of – my first real attempt at mixed media I had only just turned 17. It was February, give or take, and I was several months pregnant, which may account for my slightly crazy act of heroism (protective instinct and all). My mom and I were driving home after dark, and as she turned the corner of our street I saw the violence taking place. I remember shooting upright in the passengers seat, twisting to watch as we drove to our home about 7 houses away. There was a fire in me that I couldn’t stop, that I’m not even sure my mom could stop (or maybe I just couldn’t hear her try). As soon as our car stopped in the drive, my door was open and I was running toward them. Two young men, scary looking men – the kind you’d imagine in a gang…

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I can add Headline Speaker to my resume. Just sayin.

This is one of those posts where I do a little *happydance* and celebrate how I totally rocked my first speaking gig. I was pretty over the moon just to have an Events page. (I have an Events page!) But to actually BE AT the event! Well, that actually made me a little nauseous. The event was the Mindful Spirit Expo in Jackson, MS this past weekend and I had not one but TWO talks AND a booth! Justin was also there, as one half of Oddball Juggling, teaching adults (and a few kids) the benefits of juggling (like using it as a meditation, a healthy outlet for emotions, a preventative tool for neurological disorders) and how to juggle. We shared a booth, which meant he drew a lot of people to us, what with his balls flying through the air. And then I SPOKE! I actually got up in front…

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How to Spot Self-Doubt

A surefire way to recognize your own self-doubt, ego or fear of being wrong? Insisting you’re right. The sky doesn’t insist it’s blue. It just continues to shine what it is.

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