I’ve been seeing a lot of those posts on Facebook, where a person apologizes for loving their life too loudly, and reassures everyone that it’s not actually perfect. They explain that they tend to focus on the good for their own benefit, but then they might rattle off all the things that suck to assure others that they are not trying to make anyone feel guilty. Continue reading “When Your Good Life Makes Others Feel Guilty”
If you haven’t read it already, this commentary on the public humiliation of children that has become so prevalent in the social media age of parenting is well worth reading and absorbing.
Public shaming is awful and is nothing less than societally sanctioned parental bullying. Especially harmful to the young people against whom it is used as a weapon, the ramifications will resonate throughout their lives. They aren’t as tough as we pretend we are. (Read the whole thing here.)
You don’t have to be wrong to ask for forgiveness. You just have to want to set things right.
These words came to me the other day and I’ve been sitting with them since, not sure how to share them, but feeling the nudge to.
I think it’s a challenging concept to embrace, to ask for forgiveness when we don’t feel at fault.
It’s humbling. And sometimes humbling feels like humiliating. Lowly.
As though we’re somehow making ourselves smaller.
And it can, when we choose to feel it that way.
When we choose to make forgiveness about who’s right and who’s wrong and who owes who what.
But that feels less like forgiveness and more like shame to me.
Shame calls one right and the other wrong.
Shame points out mistakes and imperfections and demands amends be made for our humanness.
That is NOT what I’m talking about.
That kind of forgiveness is bullshit in my mind.
In my heart, forgiveness feels like intention – making clear our intention and realigning ourselves with it.
I’m intrigued with the Huna Process of Ho’oponopono, in which it says that each of us is responsible for what we see, but not to blame for it. Asking forgiveness is an integral part of creating healing, growth or connection in our world.
When something isn’t my responsibility I’m removed from it, even above it when my ego comes into play.
But by asking for forgiveness…forgiveness that my words were misheard, forgiveness that there was a misunderstanding, forgiveness that I didn’t co-create connection or compassion, forgiveness that my intention to see others in joy was not created by my actions…I place myself within the realm of “I can help with this.”
Not to be confused with “It’s all my fault.”
And the world could use more of us saying, “I can help with this.”
P.S. Happy Full Moon! We’re up in the mountains with our new caravan-ing tribe! Plenty more on that to come!
I almost didn’t share this video.
I had made it quickly because it started pouring out of me and my audio and video wouldn’t sync.
But that’s not why I almost didn’t share it.
I almost didn’t share it because my entire life I’ve been shamed for my body type, taught to feel less than other women or self-conscious or care too deeply about what others thought of my body.
Taught to be wary of going to the bathroom too soon after I ate because someone would derisively accuse me of being bulemic.
Taught to wear nothing above the knees out of fear that someone would comment on my thin legs.
So after this video came pouring out of me, I began to waver.
“Maybe I shouldn’t.”
“Maybe I’ll offend someone.”
“Who am I to talk about body image?”
It took a sweet woman speaking up a couple days ago on this very issue that reminded me that I’m accepting that Body Shame we’ve all been taught.
And you know what I say to shame?
So here it is: My Truth on “real women” and the lives we are taught to believe and that we continue to live out, even when we think we’re not.
Here’s to real women everywhere:
The ones who love with all their heart…
And look shame and fear in the face and give it the finger.
Who look in the mirror and stand in awe of the beauty that shines within them…
And takes that light into the world and lights up the darkness.
The women who sees beauty in all women, even the ones who are lost or in pain or are blind to beauty themselves.
The women hold hands not grudges.
Who can lift up another without feeling put down.
Who share Wisdom and Truth, instead of rumors and lies.
The women who can be vulnerable and strong at the same time.
And who fiercely protect that vulnerable strength in others.
We are all real women.
Regardless of size or shape or color or background or beliefs…
Regardless of whether we’re in touch with our own inner Self or not.
Regardless of whether we’re in our own power or in our own pain.
We’re all real women making our way through the same messy world, doing the best we can with the tools we have, learning and growing.
And when we see that, when we step into our own strength, and we empower others to step into theirs…
That’s when the world will change.