How I Wash My Dreadlocks (Video) and Other Dreaded Things

October 7, 2011 By TheOrganicSister 17 Comments

I’ve had enough people ask how I wash my dreadlocks naturally, that I made a video. For you curiouser minds.

And here’s my official announcement…

For three and a half years I haven’t felt I was anywhere near cutting my dreads.

That’s changed now.

I don’t mean the time is NOW. But I feel like it’s soon.

Of course, soon could mean tomorrow or it could mean in 6 months.

I’ve learned I rarely get to choose my timing or the pace at which I transition.

And I can’t explain it right now (although I’m sure I will in the future). I just feel like I’m starting a new growth process, one of letting go.

There I said it. I’m at the beginning of the end of this life-changing journey.

To be continued…

Filed Under: Organic Health, Organic Wisdom Tagged With: Dreadlocks, organic beauty, personal growth, transitioning

The Carousel of Leaving

April 10, 2011 By TheOrganicSister 17 Comments

I feel like I’ve been here before, this familiar but different place. It’s transition, known and unknown to us.

We’ve already said our goodbyes a year ago, but only for the year. It was difficult but exciting. And now we’re embarking for the last time and with no plans for return. And it’s not exactly difficult but the excitement is not quite the same.

There’s no fanfare, no newness to our departure this time. And yet this time it feels more like goodbye to us.

Just a few weeks ago I recorded my grandparent’s talking about their childhood, how they met and their life together. And then last night, as we joined them for dinner, I saw time fold upon itself as their past and the present showed itself to me as one carousel.

I saw Justin and I sitting across the table from our own grandchildren, looking back on our own life and all we created. I saw how quickly the seasons go round and thought thoughts that break my heart.

We’re tying up the loose ends now, packing our bicycles on the back of our new home, sending off for new birth certificates that will arrive after we are gone, receiving driving lessons from the people we love and spending our last moments with parents and grandparents.

Yes, we’ve been here before, but this is different.

I feel as though I’m moving round and round, up and down as I realize my dizzying lack of focus or productivity is really my own dragging feet and attempt at distraction, torn between the road ahead and the pain of saying goodbye again and possibly really meaning it this time.

This is life; changing, yet cyclical. Dizzying unless you take the time to really notice what passes by.

Filed Under: Life on the Road, People I Love Tagged With: goodbyes, life, quotes, RV transitioning, time, transitioning

A Week in Transition (Or Surrender and Acceptance)

March 7, 2011 By TheOrganicSister

We’re aiming to make this our last week off the road. By Friday, we will be heading toward Southern California; Disneyland to be exact.

Transition is always emotionally and spiritually full. We get filled with thoughts of what needs to be done, timelines and deadlines and regret. We scurry, we ebb and flow, we forget and remember and forget again.

And we oscillate, between looking back and looking forward, and all the world conspires to compound the dichotomy of here and there by pouring on the rain, piling up the hurdles, throwing in a little more madness.

I think there are two reasons Murphy’s Law is real and true:

Because madness creates or attracts more madness.
And because life loves to test our resolve.

I used to confront these maddening times of resolve-testing with a strong mix of doubt and added resolve. Was I on the wrong path? And what did I need to change?

My approach was one of sheer will and barreling through.

Today, as I sit with a mind full of tasks and exasperating challenges, piles and piles of paperwork to scan, a fender-bender to contest and repair, and an old friend demanding more than I will give, my approach is different.

No task lists, no sense of urgency, no feeling of obligation, no impending deadline.

My approach now is one of surrender.

Of savoring.

Of slow, methodical movement.

Of earphones and blueberry muffins.

Of trust.

Of quiet and breath and acceptance.

Instead of frenetic energy, of compiling and pushing, of resistance or fixing or spiritual darting…

I’m allowing.

Allowing the emotions to sweep through me, observing the place where I am, feeling peace as things go undone, as they remain imperfect, and being whole in that imperfection.

Something funny happens when you allow your world to be imperfect and messy.

It ceases to be imperfect or messy.

Perhaps it’s the people whose lives have taken sudden new twists – people who have learned to embrace the creative possibilities of change – who stand the best chance of penetrating life’s mysteries. – Hugh Mackay

Filed Under: Life on the Road, Organic Wisdom, Things To Remember Tagged With: acceptance, allowing, choosing happiness, letting go, life, murphey's law, surrender, transitioning, trust

Evicted (and moving through it)

October 21, 2010 By TheOrganicSister

There is a reason I’m a writer. It’s how I process and understand where I am and Who I Am and what’s going on. I write not because I already have all the answers (although I do believe we all always have our own answers when we’re ready for them), but to find the answers in my heart.

I know myself. I know that I will be stuck until I have two things: a platform to express and the validation that Where I Am is okay. This blog gives me the first; my husband and all of your deep, thoughtful and soul-dripping comments give me the second.

There are times when we need to mope and be in the thick of it (we can’t get through it without going through it). It’s where I’ve been the past few days. Then there are times when Life snorts at your experience and throws another into the mix and you have little choice but to roll with it.

Yes, just less than 24 hours after the first blow, we were dealt another. And again, in reality, it’s not a really big deal. But when you’re already neck-deep in yuck, it sure feels like a kick in the teeth.

Yesterday we got a notice that we are not allowed to park Benny in front of my parent’s house. We had 72 hours to move. 72 hours to do what we wanted another two weeks to accomplish.

Oh trust me, I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry and throw a fit and curse the neighbor who complained. But I kept my composure…there were people present after all. Instead, I acquiesced to the moment, scraped my heart off the floor and allowed the experience to propel me.

Movement through madness is a healing salve.

As your kind words poured in, we packed up our household and moved it all into my parent’s garage. As your comments brought me to tears, we moved our clothing into their spare room. As I absorbed your love and your Truth, we got Benny ready to move - without us.

I felt a little like a person getting ready to take her dog to the pound. Guilty and apologetic and tearful. We are attached after all, Benny and I. He’s my Dream-maker, my first liberator, and moving on from that grips at my chest.

Last night, with Zeb at a sleepover with his Gramma, Justin and I slept in Benny for the last time. And as we laughed and reminisced, in my heart I started to let go of my fear.

With the threat of entrapment still lingering over my dreams, watching Benny lumbering behind me down the road and leaving him behind at my father-in-law’s home for the time being took a lot of deep breaths. It was scary. On one hand it’s a necessary step. In order to get the new rig, we have to let the old one go.

But in letting Benny go I was relinquishing my freedom. For awhile at least, I have no means of escape. He’s my last tangible tie to life on the road. And that, my friends, takes a large heaping of Trust.

I’m breathing deep. I’m trusting my dreams are real and valid and happening. I’m trusting our perseverance and ingenuity to keep us from stagnancy in this place we so badly don’t want to be. I’m (just barely, mostly unwillingly, hardly contentedly) trusting the timing of it all. And I’m trusting we are loved and not alone in this, too. I’m not alone in this.

Alone is a scary place to be. But I know it’s a place I choose. I push companionship away when I hurt. I hurt myself deeper, really. But I am loved and blessed. Justin knows me. He knows to hold me when I tell him I want to be alone. He gives me the space to Be and the space to grow, a space that just happens to be within his arms. And my once battered heart is reminded again that it’s a safe place to be.

Life is challenging me, offering a long-avoided opportunity to heal. It’s requesting I stretch in order to grow. These are my growing pains. This is my growth spurt. As hard as it is to say at times, I know this place is good.

Filed Under: Organic Tribes, Organic Wisdom Tagged With: acceptance, authenticity, choosing happiness, community, disappointment, fear, freedom, frustrations, love, RV, transitioning, trust, writing

Bittersweet Thursday

February 25, 2010 By TheOrganicSister 7 Comments

We said our first round of goodbyes today.

One of my closest friends is also the mom of one of Zeb’s closest friends and when we went to pick Zeb up from their sleepover, we did our best to say goodbye to Elizabeth before she heads out of town tomorrow. She was one of the first real-life unschooling moms I met and her gentle, affirming interactions with her son helped propel my embrace of unschooling. She is an amazing, open and authentic person and her approach to life is so mindful and inspiring. She is always the person I call when I need someone to truly hear me but she has an amazing way of helping me see things clearer, as well. Never judgmental, always thoughtful and always in my heart. I love you, Elizabeth.

Then we got news that Zeb’s very best friend won’t be able to see Zeb before we go. It broke my heart to tell Zeb and it crushed him when I couldn’t offer an explanation. His friend will be sorely missed.

Then it was time to send off my grandparents. They have a one-way ticket and their sister’s estate to care for and as much as we all wish Death could work around our schedules, it’s never quite that convenient. While we are hoping to remain in Vegas until they return, we didn’t want to risk missing them and so we helped send them off tonight. It was very difficult to feel rushed; my grandma and I held each other for as long as we could hold back tears. I can’t describe how difficult it is to feel as if I’m losing any time with them at all and yet not have the time I’d like to really say goodbye see you soon.

The goodbyes are the worst part and this is only the beginning. Justin has a breakfast date with his dad tomorrow, we still have a going away party on Saturday and we’re planning a Life Learner sleepover on Sunday. I’m sure every one of those events will be difficult in its own way.

I’m so ready to leave Las Vegas, I just don’t know how to leave the people I love.

It wasn’t all sad news today, however. Justin received the veggie oil tank a day early and they will begin the final steps of the install tomorrow (if only he had time to keep up with his blog!). I got a wonderful, albeit also bittersweet, email from a friend and former client whom I hope to see this weekend (why we were never closer or found more time to hang out, I’m not sure). And now Zeb and I have our vintage suitcase packed with a few days worth of belongings and are spending the time at my mom’s.

And the days keep counting down…