What Would You Do with Nothing Holding You Back?

July 25, 2011 By TheOrganicSister

When I read her words I was in tears and goosebumps.

THIS! This is what life can look like without the junk that gets in the way. When we clear the path we can suddenly do and create the most amazing things!

The only thing that holds us back is what we hold inside.

I read Tara’s manifesto last week and was so moved by it, I decided to order Digging Deepas well.Holy.cow.is.all.I.can.say. I took my time going through it at a pace that seemed right for me. I have to tell you that when I uncovered my first block, I suddenly just had to stop when I was about halfway through the worksheets. My eyes were watering but I wasn’t aware of that at first and I was so tired I literally fell asleep where I was lying. I didn’t sleep much that night though as I thought about what I was uncovering and discovering about beliefs and how it has shaped probably every single encounter I have had in my entire life.

Long story short, an incident that had happened when I was young had made me feel on my core level that I am not to be trusted in this dangerous world.

I can’t even tell you what it is like as I start to free myself from this belief. The biggest issue I was having (and it was really affecting me and my kids I am sure) is that I was resisting playing with my kids and was afraid to take them anywhere (as I can’t be trusted in this dangerous world!).

Wow! Not only has Digging Deep started changing my life but my kids as well. Since completing the workbook, I have signed up for a 5k Warrior Dash (I am not a runner anymore but miss it!) and once a month horse leasing (I don’t know why but I really feel called to be horseback riding!) and I have been taking my kids to the park every night after work and they have been having a blast.

I do not know if I will ever be able to thank you enough, Tara. You truly are an angel.

Sue C.

Sue, you are one incredible, amazing woman and you deserve all the credit for the beauty you’re creating in your life. (((hugs)))

Filed Under: Inspiration, Organic Parenting, Organic Tools, Organic Wisdom Tagged With: choosing happiness, digging deep, empowerment, fear, testimonial, trust

Organic Wisdom: On Not Trusting Kids

July 22, 2011 By TheOrganicSister

Are you following The Organic Sister on Facebook? I’m over there daily sharing inspiration and Organic Wisdom (because conventional wisdom is spiritual pesticide, after all).

I wanted to share some of that here today…maybe even every Friday if our travel schedule will allow.

Just a small snippet of something, a reminder, a note or some other wisdom to inspire your weekend.

This is a little visual on trusting our kids…or rather, the ugly cycle we create when we don’t consistently lean into trusting our kids.

Filed Under: Inspiration, Organic Parenting Tagged With: teens, trust, tweens, Yay! Charts!

Life, Learning and Dark Parking Lots

July 11, 2011 By TheOrganicSister 5 Comments

I remember the first time I drove a car. It was with my best friend, Hilary, and we were both underage, as we were with many things we did together. Hilary had snuck the keys to her mother’s car and she ever so s l o w l y and cautiously drove us across the street to an empty parking lot.

There we took turn practicing: driving in circles, experimenting with going faster and slower, gassing it, stopping quickly, and attempting to park as we discovered the fluidity of our feet, the pedals and the movement of the vehicle.

Hilary’s mom’s car was a monster.

I’m not sure of the make or model but it reminds me of a Cadillac – wide and long. And we felt safe in it. We knew we couldn’t roll it, and it wouldn’t be easily dented, either.

That night in the parking lot gave us the feeling of uninhibited freedom.

We could move and explore the feeling of control without fear of mistake, condemnation or danger, except for a random light pole.

These were things we didn’t feel we could explore at home. We didn’t always feel the freedom to press our limits and test our abilities. We were loved. More than most. But we didn’t feel completely understood or accepted.

But out in the dimly lit parking lot, with only our friendship to know what we were attempting, we could find our rhythm, our own speed.

We could learn our capabilities without any doubt, fear or criticism to slow us down.

When I think back to that night and I look at my son quickly approaching teen-hood, I’m reminded what that parking lot and my best friend taught me:

Every person of every age and every background has the same basics needs and the same basic desire to fill those needs.

We didn’t take the car to be difficult or dangerous. We took it to fulfill a need we didn’t know any other way to fulfill. We needed to experience the freedom and sense of accomplishment that dark lot provided us and we needed to experience it in an environment of encouragement and appreciation.

We needed to feel as if the person sitting next to us trusted us, encouraged us and laughed with us over our jerky attempts to move forward – in life and in the undentable beast that was her mom’s car.

photo

Filed Under: Organic Parenting Tagged With: acceptance, autonomy, driving, freedom, teens, trust, tweens

8 Ways to Allow Personal Growth Happen

March 29, 2011 By TheOrganicSister

So, we identified 11 signs life might be demanding personal growth and we established the 5 principles (of life, really) you must know before you begin.

I can’t offer you a panacea here. What I can offer you are the things I know that create success in our own journey of self-discovery, the realization of our dreams, and the movement through our challenges.

Create space.
You might call this stillness or white space or solitude. Whatever term resonates with you, creating plenty of undisturbed time to work through and process your personal growth (or just sit in or with it) is crucial.You simply cannot grow through distraction.

Take yourself to the library for several hours a few times a week, head to a coffee shop, wake up before the rest of the house or go to bed later. Do not be tempted to take along something to do (especially a task you feel “needs to be done”); this is time to feel, to think to yourself, not to cross items off your To Do list. (Note to self: Avoid the internet.)

But feel free to take a journal, a book that has been calling your name or some peaceful music. These tools will allow you to dig deeper or just sit and Be with yourself in new ways.
Be patient.
Growth also takes time. It can feel painstakingly slow or even stalled (sometimes it might actually stall, too). Along with being gentle, you also need to treat yourself with patience.

Don’t beat yourself for making mistakes or moving too slowly or whatever else you might be feeling toward your own progress. Don’t judge yourself by someone else’s measure.

And don’t forget that great strides almost always follow times of stillness.

Life – and thus growth – is not a sprint. Feel good about slowing down.
Be gentle with yourself.
Growth takes energy and stamina. There will be times when it overwhelms you or frustrates you, when you feel as though you’re making no progress or making things worse.

Be gentle with yourself during these times. Take stock of the big picture and remind yourself of the huge task of healing, recovery and growth you’re undergoing.

Take yourself and your life seriously, treat yourself with compassion and care, use kind words to describe where you are and don’t belittle yourself, where you are or what you’re experiencing to anyone. Especially you.
Stay open to the possibilities.
Assumptions have no place here. You may or may not feel as though your life is taking a particular direction, and whatever you’re feeling, that’s okay.

Remain open to new people, new ideas and new tools for personal growth. Also remain open to the fact that it all might change or totally surprise you.

Trust it. Open yourself to the idea that you are a wise and wonderful person and your intuition – that tiny little voice or thought that won’t stop – is trying to tell you exactly what you need to know. (Or maybe just what you need to know first.)
Acknowledge without guilt. Speak truth without blame.
This is a biggie. And also a toughie.

If feelings of guilt, anger or resentment over your past or present circumstances begin to rise to the surface, you need to acknowledge them. You need to deeply feel these emotions, being with them and allowing them to teach you.

You need to surrender to them so they can surrender their grip on you.

But please remember these are your feelings based on your perspectives. No one else needs them; they belong to no one else.

Bringing anger or resentment to a conversation, or dwelling on guilt, does nothing but tear down the possibility for healing. These negative emotions breed with the insecurity, guilt or resentment of others and create more of the same.

There may be a time to have these conversations, but only after the emotions have released us and we can speak with compassion, understanding and strength. If you can’t do that, it’s not time to have the conversation.
Receive support.
We have a funky belief in our society that it’s better to give than to receive.False, false, false!

Just looking at this logically can show us that someone has to receive so that someone else can enjoy the gift of giving.

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin: Equal and important gifts to ourselves and others.

Allowing ourselves to receive connects us deeply to one another. It gives others the opportunity to make a difference, to remember their own importance and to practice generosity.

And it feeds us, fills us up. Receiving gives us the ability to give freely to others. It creates an environment of generosity and compassion.

So receive! But ask carefully. Know the limits and boundaries of others and ask for help from those in a place to give. Different people will be capable of supporting you in different ways, so be okay with that.
Trust, trust, trust.
Lean into the process. Lean into love. Lean into life and growth and expansion.

Trust the people you turn to for support. Trust yourself. Trust what you feel you need, even if it feels counterproductive.

Trust your authenticity. Trust that you were created for a purpose. Trust that there are no mistakes…least of which, you.

Trust that darkness is only the absence of light. And trust your ability and courage to let your own light shine.
Begin digging deep.
This is what I call my process of uncovering the things that are holding me back, understanding my fears and my blocks and moving through them.

It’s also the name of my e-book and audiobook, Digging Deep: A Toolbox and Workbook for Personal Growth.

I’m super excited (and nervous) to share it with you. It is the heart and soul of Who I Am and what I do. It’s been my journey and my key to success and I’m pouring everything I have into making this a reality.

You can learn more about it here: Digging Deep: A Toolbox and Workbook for Personal Growth.

What do you want to know?

I said I could easily do more than 3 posts on this topic. And I can. But the subject is vast and it’s hard to know where to take it.

So, tell me…what are your questions? What do you want to know about personal growth? Ask me anything in the comments below (or via email) and I’ll offer what I have.

Part One: 11 Signs Your Life is Demanding Personal Growth

Part Two: 5 Principles of Personal Growth to Absorb Right Now

Filed Under: Organic Wisdom Tagged With: choosing happiness, fears, life, personal growth, receiving, support, trust

5 Principles of Personal Growth to Absorb Right Now

March 22, 2011 By TheOrganicSister 27 Comments

[This is Part 2 or a 3 Part series.]

If any of the 11 signs of personal growth described in my first post resonated with you, or if you agree that we’re undergoing something major and world-shifting and if you’re feeling ready to take one step forward, I’d invite you to start by bringing your awareness to and absorbing these five principles.

I can almost guarantee you that without understanding and fully embracing these principles, your own journey will be slower, punctuated by more pain and self-doubt and peppered with more challenges.

Trust me, I would know.

But embracing these principles of life and personal growth can lift the heaviness of where we are from our shoulders and create an environment of peace and even excitement in our lives. It can shift us from overwhelm or apathy to clarity, acceptance and motivation.

Here they are, pretty much in the order of importance.

1. You are not wrong, broken, bad, or crazy.

It’s so tempting to use those words to describe ourselves. After all, conventional wisdom tells us if we’re feeling happy one moment and sad the next, if we can’t stop crying, or if we suddenly desire something more than what we’re accustomed to that we’re either bi-polar, depressed or experiencing a mid-life crisis.

I say screw them.

You are not wrong, broken, bad or crazy. You are human. You are diverse, sometimes messy and constantly evolving. You experience life deeply and it moves you in sometimes uncomfortable, but always opportunistic, ways.

All of this is good! And don’t for one minute think it’s not, for all of this is exactly what has been experienced by the great movers and shakers of the world, the creatives, the philosopher’s, the leaders and the world changers. They just didn’t had the burden of judgment or expectation like we do today.

2. Everyone does the best they can with the tools they have.

If you or someone else is not doing their personal best or the best you think is possible, it means you/they either lack the necessary tools or something else is getting in your/their way.

Understanding this gives us the ability to view ourselves and others with compassion and patience. It also begs to ask what we can do to help.

Life isn’t a sprint for everyone. We’re all going to move at our own pace. Treating yourself and others with gentle compassion and trust is the only way to ensure we’ll all keep growing. Judgment, guilt, fear, impatience…they are surefire ways to shut growth down.

Along with this principle is the fact that we are all looking and moving toward a greater good when we are fully authentic and feeling whole. We all ultimately and truly want what is best for everyone, even if we don’t know or are confused on how to get it.

If you’re struggling with personal growth, keep this one in mind and seek out new tools or self-awareness to get yourself unstuck.

3. There is no such thing as a lost opportunity.

Life is cyclical. Things always come back around.

If you feel as though you (or someone else) missed an opportunity, or maybe you just don’t feel ready for it, you can rest assured it will make its way back to you.

Be careful pushing things aside for later though; sometimes it’s harder to accomplish the second time than if you embrace the opportunity the first time around.

Instead, I’d recommend trusting that there are no mistakes and that the timing is perfect, even if not from our limited perspective.

4. The bigger your game, the bigger the obstacles.

Who here has ever been onto something really, really juicy and suddenly been blindsided by a string of bad luck, innumerable challenges or some serious self-sabotaging? (*raising hand*)

It can feel like everything is going wrong. It can feel like the cards are stacked against you. And you can begin to question what you’re doing – is it the right thing to do or am I the right person for the job?

Often times this looks like chaos, until we can be still and clearly see what it is: It’s not life or fate conspiring against us. It’s not bad luck. It’s just our own junk finally demanding face time.

Every time you’re about to experience a serious breakthrough, everything that does not serve you or will not serve you in the future, every old story you’ve told yourself, every fear that has held you back, every personal challenge you’ve ever had and never dealt with will suddenly surface.

Why?

Because they have no place in what you’re trying to create and in order to move forward into your future, you’ll have to spend some time with each of the things that has been holding you back.

Without giving them their face time, you won’t be able to leave them behind and without leaving them behind, you won’t move forward.

You can think of it a little like life testing your resolve. Or you can think of it as a spring cleaning of your soul to prepare you for the summer of your life.

Whatever image resonates with you, get ready to bring you’re A-game. Cuz it’s on.

5. This Too Shall Pass – If You Allow It

I don’t only mean if you allow it to pass, although not holding onto discord, drama or pain out of comfort or fear of change is important too.

What I really mean, though, is that you must allow yourself to be in this uncomfortable place for it to finally and fully come to pass. Resisting where you are or what you feel just postpones the process, and since life is cyclical (as described above), it will come back around.

This is the paradox of personal growth: Only by embracing What Is (the reality, the emotions, the everything) exactly as it is – with radical acceptance and without expectations of change – can it finally let us go.

You’ve got to be with it to be without it.

Sit with the sadness, the anger, the memories, the questions. Call them out and acknowledge them fully. Spend some time swimming in it. Without pointing fingers (at yourself or anyone else), just dwell in your experience. Allow it all to bubble out until there is finally nothing left to bubble and it detaches itself from you and you can experience the weightlessness left in its place.

By allowing it, it detaches itself from you and you from it. Then it becomes something that simply is, that has no power over you, and you can look at it with gratitude or compassion but no longer with pain or discomfort.

Included in this principle is a message of patience. As much as we’d like to, we simply cannot rush the process.

Deep breath. You’ll soon be glad you couldn’t.