11 Signs Your Life Is Demanding Personal Growth (And It’s Time To Listen)

Close my eyes and leap

[This is Part One of a 3 part (or more!) series on personal growth.]

The world is shifting. Our physical world is literally moving from under our feet. And our emotional and spiritual world is moving in our hearts.

Life is demanding internal growth from us in new and uncomfortable ways.

(I use the word “life” so that anyone from any background can resonate with my meaning. Feel free to insert “soul,” “spirit,” “Source,” “God,” or the term that best resonates with you.)

I don’t have the answers as to why it’s all happening now, nor do I think we need total understanding. But I see the shifting everywhere; it’s real, it’s intense and it’s big.

In fact, I don’t think I’ve spoken to a single soul recently that is not experiencing their own inner shifts.

People are splitting wide open. Old wounds are suddenly weeping. Crushing memories are resurfacing. Relationships are unfolding or recoiling or speaking to us in powerful new ways. Personal growth is yearning to be realized.

And it’s uncomfortable, sometimes downright painful.

I know this era of spiritual, emotional and personal growth is true. I’m experiencing it too. And it’s incredible.

As I said, I don’t think we need full understanding of this phenomenon or why it’s occurring in order to embrace it.

But I do think it’s time we fully embrace it.

11 Signs It’s Time To Listen

If this truth is resonating with you, that is probably sign enough that it’s time to embrace your own personal growth.

But in case you’re not sure, here are the top signs I’ve noticed around me that life is demanding our attention, and demanding it now.

     

  1. You are noticing patterns or themes emerging. If the same thing keeps popping into your head, your line of vision, or your conversations this is a really good sign it’s time to embrace it. It might be a book that keeps getting mentioned, a person being brought up or just an idea being repeated in unrelated places. Life insists until we listen or adamantly resist.
  2. Your past is suddenly haunting you. Maybe a comment or an event triggered a repressed memory or maybe these memories came out of nowhere. Whatever the case, they are here and they are insistent. When change is imminent, things that no longer serve you will require your attention.
  3. You can’t stop emoting all over the place. It could be angry outbursts or uncontrollable crying. Whatever your emotions are doing, there is always a deeper reason and it’s very rarely that you’re “crazy.” Our emotions are a symptom of something moving beneath the surface.
  4. You feel unsettled, anxious or restless. You might be having a hard time focusing or sitting still. You might feel as though you’re vibrating with excitement. You may not know what is it but you definitely feel the push or pull. Change is exciting. It’s also nerve-wracking.
  5. You feel a bit like a yo-yo. Your moods can feel like polar opposites. One day you’re energized and motivated, the next you’re filled with fear or even despair. You can’t seem to keep an even keel. Your psyche is waffling between the old stories and the new.
  6. You feel like you’ve stepped into the ring with Muhammed Ali. And he’s just planted a hard one up side your head. Sometimes it’s a bit of truth about yourself you might have been blinded to or a revelation or inspiration that hits so hard it knocks you over. Either way the shock can leave you seeing stars.
  7. You keep feeling like you “want to go home”. But you’re not quite sure where it is that you’re talking about? This is such a common sign of upcoming personal growth calling your name, but it’s one that is rarely ever talked about. We intuitively know we belong somewhere else, even if we can’t name it.
  8. Something is just missing or not quite “right.” You can’t put your finger on it, but you know there is more out there than what you’re currently experiencing. These unsettling gut feelings are trying to lead us to it.
  9. You’re placating your need for personal growth with constant superficial changes.Rearranging the furniture, constantly changing your clothes (or your mind), feeling the need to buy something new, making new plans or drastically and quickly changing directions on current plans, always trying the next new thing and relentless, frenetic energy. When we’re uncomfortable with digging deep, we dig shallow.
  10. You just can’t let go. Something happened or someone said or did something; maybe it’s closely related to you and maybe it’s not. But you can’t seem to let it go. Your thoughts keep coming back to it and you can’t explain why. There is a message there if you listen for it.
  11. You are onto something amazing and life suddenly got really hard and messy. Welcome to the big leagues. This is where it gets fun. ;)

Keep in mind: some of these things are normal. All of them have the potential for greatness. Ultimately you will have to decide what they mean in your life.

But if Nature is correct, then all living things, ourselves including, are either growing or dying. And as Robert Cooper said, that’s “largely a choice, not fate.”

Join the conversation: Which signs resonate with you?

Part Two: 5 Principles of Personal Growth to Absorb Right Now

Part Three: 8 Ways to Make Personal Growth Happen

A Week in Transition (Or Surrender and Acceptance)

We’re aiming to make this our last week off the road. By Friday, we will be heading toward Southern California; Disneyland to be exact.

Transition is always emotionally and spiritually full. We get filled with thoughts of what needs to be done, timelines and deadlines and regret. We scurry, we ebb and flow, we forget and remember and forget again.

And we oscillate, between looking back and looking forward, and all the world conspires to compound the dichotomy of here and there by pouring on the rain, piling up the hurdles, throwing in a little more madness.

I think there are two reasons Murphy’s Law is real and true:

  1. Because madness creates or attracts more madness.
  2. And because life loves to test our resolve.

I used to confront these maddening times of resolve-testing with a strong mix of doubt and added resolve. Was I on the wrong path? And what did I need to change?

My approach was one of sheer will and barreling through.

Today, as I sit with a mind full of tasks and exasperating challenges, piles and piles of paperwork to scan, a fender-bender to contest and repair, and an old friend demanding more than I will give, my approach is different.

No task lists, no sense of urgency, no feeling of obligation, no impending deadline.

My approach now is one of surrender.

Of savoring.

Of slow, methodical movement.

Of earphones and blueberry muffins.

Of trust.

Of quiet and breath and acceptance.

Instead of frenetic energy, of compiling and pushing, of resistance or fixing or spiritual darting…

I’m allowing.

Allowing the emotions to sweep through me, observing the place where I am, feeling peace as things go undone, as they remain imperfect, and being whole in that imperfection.

Something funny happens when you allow your world to be imperfect and messy.

It ceases to be imperfect or messy.

Perhaps it’s the people whose lives have taken sudden new twists – people who have learned to embrace the creative possibilities of change – who stand the best chance of penetrating life’s mysteries. – Hugh Mackay

The Gift of Receiving

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about creating tribes, about systems of support for who we are and what we’re doing in our lives, about the dynamics of giving and receiving in our encounters with others.

And it all come to total realization today. Really, it all hit me upside the head until it sunk in.

With two emotional days showing all over my face and no makeup, I made a video about one intense, transformational, connect-the-dots kind of days….one of those days where life wraps up all the answers you’ve been seeking (in more areas than one, since its all ultimately connected anyway), ties it up with a nice, magical bow and sets it in your lap.

And I did with it the best I could; I tried to convey what really can’t be conveyed.

This is raw and emotional and messy. And you know what? I don’t care. It’s here and I’m sharing it with you because it wants to be shared.

A message from the passenger’s seat from Tara Wagner on Vimeo.

“Each day offers us the gift of being a special
occasion if we can simply learn that as well as giving,
it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart.”
- Sarah Ban Breathnach

Don’t miss the beautiful thoughts shared in the comments!

Being Practical Isn’t All That Great

I hate that title. What I really want to say is “Being Practical” sucks.

Or at least the common understanding of that phrase.

I recently did something incredibly impractical.

It’s something that could take years to fix, will most certainly cost thousands of dollars, will create unforeseeable stress and frustrating amounts of work, has already caused physical pain and was against medical advice.

It’s wasn’t necessary. It isn’t easy.

There was really nothing practical about it.

And I couldn’t be happier. :)

What crazy, expensive, painful, ill-advised thing did I do?

I got braces.

Who has two fingers and a new set of braces? This girl!

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
- Brendan Gill

Did you know I’ve agonized over this decision for over 10 years? The idea of spending thousands of dollars and seeing one orthodontist all in the name of vanity rubbed badly against my practical side.

Spending thousands of dollars and busting my ass to find cooperative orthodontists around the country to play my little game of Build A Traveling Medical File while we travel full-time rubbed against my orthodontist’s practical side, too.

But I insisted. I told him I’d take care of the hard part if he’d just play along.

I was freaking adamant against being practical until I got what I wanted.

Being Practical Is No Way To Live

Culturally, we make impractical decisions All.The.Time….decisions that are expensive, painful, and idealistic: like buying a home, having a child or falling love!

The big stuff is easy, though, right? It’s the smaller impractical choices we let get in our way.

Or at least I did.

You know what changed my mind?

Realizing just how many impractical choices have positively shaped my life:

  • I made the impractical choice to be a mother at 17.
  • I made the impulsive decision to become a massage therapist at 18.
  • I made the expensive choice to own my own massage business at 20.
  • We made the impractical decision to take Zeb out of school when he was 7.
  • And then we had the crazy idea to sell all our belongings and travel full-time.

Did you know the definition of impractical included things like “idealistic,” “illogical,” “wild” or “improbable”?

Most of life falls into that category!

A bumblebee’s ability to fly? Certainly improbable.

The amazing capabilities of a human cell? Definitely wild!

Traveling, creating art, making love, music, dancing, climbing trees, poetry, laughter, romance…completely idealistic.

Chasing dreams, following your instincts, trust: Absolutely the most illogical things you can do in such a volatile time as ours.

And well…..there it is. My reason for being utterly impractical: All of life depends on it. :)

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” – Cecil Beaton

Four Steps To Stop Being So Practical

I often get stopped by fear. And I often remind myself how to overcome it.

These are my four steps to making any wild, illogical, idealistic and absolutely life-changing decisions that I badly, desperately want (but am seriously paralyzed) to make.

They are the four things that get me from here to there, from fear to action, from stagnancy to growth.

It’s really rather simple. But, of course, incredibly challenging. Ready for it?

  1. Trust Yourself. Like Benjamin Spock says, you know more than you think you do.
  2. Know what you want and why and how. Because you’ll likely be doing some explaining and you’ll need a good plan.
  3. Take a really deep breath. Repeat this step often.
  4. Then focus only on taking the next step. Yup, just the next one.

Before long you might just find yourself living a wild, illogical, idealistic life of your own. :)

Join the Convo:

Why do you think we’ve become such a practical society? Or what’s been the best, most impractical choice you’ve ever made?

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On Trusting Our Kids (and Their Candy)

Halloween Booty

This is the candy Zeb got from two trunk-or-treat events and one night of trick-or-treating.

Or I should say it’s all the candy he has left.

From Friday through Tuesday he probably ate another grocery bag full. Because of all the sugar in his system he ate little else during that time.

Was I worried? No.

Okay, for a minute there on Tuesday I began to wonder. And we certainly had a discussion or two and offered him plenty of other foods.

But mostly I just waited.

Was it hard? Yes. Even though I trust Zeb to find his own limits and listen to his own body, that little Bad Parent voice tends to chirp up and ask “What will other people think?” I’m pretty proud of how well I told that voice to shut it’s trap.

Because no matter what common parental rules dictate, I know a happy, healthy child will not choose candy forever.

I know my child rarely chooses to eat that much candy. I know all humans will experiment with their own limits. And I know Zeb needed to experiment with his own.

And sure enough Tuesday evening he put his pillowcase of candy away and hasn’t touched it since.

He has instead requested and had all the food his body thrives on:

  • salmon
  • cod
  • nearly a gallon of grass-fed raw milk
  • tomatoes with sea salt
  • lots of water
  • oatmeal
  • green smoothies
  • grass-fed beef
  • (Oh, he also bought himself a hot dog at the park, but said it didn’t really hit the spot.)

Halloween is fun. Candy is fun. Sugar is fun.

And our kids should have fun.

They should also be allowed to decide and learn for themselves their own limits. And we should be okay with those choices, even when they don’t match our own choices.

Our kids don’t have to have our own value system or beliefs. It doesn’t always need to make sense to us. We don’t even need to be comfortable with all their choices.

We just need to trust that they will do what makes sense to them.

Because they always will.

What’s been your experience with Halloween candy?

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