When Your Good Life Makes Others Feel Guilty
I’ve been seeing a lot of those posts on Facebook, where a person apologizes for loving their life too loudly, and reassures everyone that it’s not actually perfect. They explain that they tend to focus on the good for their own benefit, but then they might rattle off all the things that suck to assure others that they are not trying to make anyone feel guilty.
I’m torn on this.
I understand the intention. I know none of us wants to portray something that isn’t realistic. And I know we want to be mindful of how our actions affect another human being. But is bringing our mindfulness practice, our personal growth, our spiritual awareness, or joy, or our embodiment of love down a level really helping anyone (ourselves included)?
You all know I share the depths of my soul, my emotional tornados, and my process through it all quite freely. You know I’m all about emotional honesty (when it’s coupled with emotional maturity and taking accountability for one’s own feelings).
But not as a means to ensure the world knows I don’t have it “too good”.
Neither you nor I am responsible for another person’s feelings. That doesn’t mean we aren’t accountable for our actions, or emotional patterns in our life, or how our actions may impact the world. It just means that it’s not our job to ensure someone else does or doesn’t feel something.
That’s an impossible for job for anyone but the owner of those emotions.
If someone accuses you of “making them” feel guilty, it’s simply not true. YOU aren’t the one making them feel guilty. Their own thoughts, their own comparisons, their own desires or choices are inspiring their own emotions. You could be a total ace, the next Patron Saint of the Internet, with your heart totally in the right place and a deep desire to heal the world, and someone could still accuse you of being an a-hole. It doesn’t have much to do with you, except that you happened to be in the right place and the right time to bump against their sore spots.
Sweet, beautiful, mindful, conscious soul who is trying hard to focus on the positive, spread love, and speak kindly in all things….don’t apologize for your healthy state of being. Don’t apologize for making conscious choices that lead you to wonderful things. Don’t apologize for working so diligently on your own growth. Don’t apologize for shining light into the world. Even when that light inadvertently shines on an aspect of something someone’s been working hard to avoid.
Don’t feel guilty that others are made uncomfortable by good things.
Don’t apologize for something that is none of your business.
Send them love.
Don’t change what you’re doing or try to convince them “my life sucks too”.
Keep yourself focused on your own inner work; not theirs.
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