Why You SHOULD Focus On Being Perfect (And It’s Not What You Think)
Ah, perfect. That word is a hot one. Especially for us women.
Most of us strive so hard to be perfect: the perfect mother, perfect partner, the perfect person with a perfect purpose. We try to create the perfect home and the perfect world with perfect hair and perfect kids.
And then we hear the messages that perfection is a myth, that it can’t be obtained and that striving for it is a maddening and pointless attempt to be something we’ll never be.
After all no one is perfect, right?
This is where I get all Big and Philosophical on you…
Both are wrong.
Zoom out with me – way out – and take in the Big Picture of your life, your journey of self-discovery and growth, your contribution to and purpose in the world.
The entire purpose of your life is to learn, to grow, to experience this human experience and make sense of it the best way you can.
You don’t need to strive for perfection and you don’t need to give up the idea of perfection…Because you are already perfect.
Where you are is already perfect. What you are experiencing, doing and thus learning is absolutely perfect.
You are the perfect mother for your children. You are the perfect person for your purpose. Everything you’re doing and experiencing is perfect.
Stay with me here.
It’s perfect that you make mistakes. It’s perfect that you beat yourself up for them. It’s perfect when you don’t do either.
It’s absolutely perfect when you wake up one day to realize something totally new and life-changing and it’s perfect when nothing ever seems to change.
It’s all perfect because it’s all purposeful, because when we zoom way out the little details that we stress over and complain about and push against blur together, and we see the process, the journey, the contrast that teaches us, the resistance that strengthens us, the meaning at the end of the story, the light at the end of the tunnel and the Magic that brought it all together, that connected the cosmic dots and created something amazing.
If our purpose in life is to learn, and if we learn best through our experiences, then yes, it’s all actually perfect.
And only by acknowledging that it’s perfect can we embrace it, learn from it and expand because of it.
Your mistakes have value. Your journey is oh-so-valuable.
But you won’t get that, you won’t experience that value, until you accept it as perfect, as exactly as it gets to be.
Yes, this applies to everyone – you and your kids, your partner and THAT one frustrating person you would rather not talk about. No matter what you all are doing or experiencing in your lives, you are all in the same perfect place.
Acknowledging that you are exactly where you need to be, and that everything you are experiencing or doing is perfect is not license to be an asshole, hit your children or just quit trying, anymore than the lack of a posted warning is license to shoplift.
On the contrary, and perhaps paradoxically, embracing the seemingly imperfect as perfect will take off that heavy weight of Not-Good-Enough, Less-Than, Doomed-To-Mess-Up, and leave you only with desire to move forward into seeking more….more Love, more connection, more experiences, more compassion, more beauty, more peace, more learning.
You cannot create your Life from a place of imperfection, unworthiness, brokenness, less-than. You can’t. Whatever you see this moment as being, you will notice and create more of the same.
But when you can connect to the fact that this moment is perfect – that it is here for you to experience and learn from, that’s it’s all opportunity, all of value – you can connect to the fact that you can create something more, better, and beautiful from it.
Only by stopping the fight against what is can we give ourselves the clarity and power to create what can be.
Look for it: What about that one frustrating thing is actually perfect?
“There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.” – Storm Jameson